Question for fellow teachers - student threatened to punch me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So if this happened outside the school building, would you have the same response PP? It’s ridiculous that students can make threats against staff and nothing happens. I’d call my union rep stat.

Until my admin removed the student from my class and I still felt in danger? Yes I would do whatever I can to keep myself and the other student safe. And I can assure you that student is not happy or safe in his life, so if he feels like he’s under threat at school (teacher scared/cold/taking notes) he’s not going to remain calm. He’s 11/12 he’s still a child. We have to remember that. And I’ve gotten hurt from a student so I’m not naive, I speak from experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I told them this but they said they don’t think he is a threat. I don’t understand how threatening to punch a teacher only warrants a one day suspension.

Teacher here—he didn’t actually punch you, so there was a threat but no assault. One day suspension makes sense (students need to be in school). I also would not want him in my class, I understand why you are nervous. But since your admin won’t help you, here’s my advice (you’re not going to like it):

You need to be kind to this student. If he comes in and feels threatened because you are cold to him and taking notes on him constantly, he will be on edge and that’s what may make him more likely to hurt you. If you focus on repair and “kill him with kindness” attitude, he’s not going to want to hurt someone who is kind to him and who forgave him for something he knows deep down he shouldn’t have said. He may not deserve your kindness, but you extending warmth to him may save you from assault. Also, you gain back the power he tried to take from you. And students who know adults don’t have power are simultaneously thrilled and scared.

You can do this, op. Deep breaths. Head held high. Smile on your face. Eye contact with the boy. Take back control.

I won’t say this is bad advice, it could work but there are plenty of kids this wouldn’t work on. There are people who want to intimidate and harm others that is not connected to how the other person treats them.
-another teacher who has been physically assaulted by a student.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I told them this but they said they don’t think he is a threat. I don’t understand how threatening to punch a teacher only warrants a one day suspension.

Teacher here—he didn’t actually punch you, so there was a threat but no assault. One day suspension makes sense (students need to be in school). I also would not want him in my class, I understand why you are nervous. But since your admin won’t help you, here’s my advice (you’re not going to like it):

You need to be kind to this student. If he comes in and feels threatened because you are cold to him and taking notes on him constantly, he will be on edge and that’s what may make him more likely to hurt you. If you focus on repair and “kill him with kindness” attitude, he’s not going to want to hurt someone who is kind to him and who forgave him for something he knows deep down he shouldn’t have said. He may not deserve your kindness, but you extending warmth to him may save you from assault. Also, you gain back the power he tried to take from you. And students who know adults don’t have power are simultaneously thrilled and scared.

You can do this, op. Deep breaths. Head held high. Smile on your face. Eye contact with the boy. Take back control.

I won’t say this is bad advice, it could work but there are plenty of kids this wouldn’t work on. There are people who want to intimidate and harm others that is not connected to how the other person treats them.
-another teacher who has been physically assaulted by a student.

NP.

so what's the alternative if not being kind and warm to the student and moving past the incident (in terms of your interactions with him)? Be cold and detached? Not make eye contact? Constantly remind him of the threat he made? Act scared of him?

I'm not saying the kindness will FIX him or even improve him, but the alternative is definitely *less* likely to do so...

[Anonymous]

Here's my advice:
Document everything but don't let him know you are doing that. Do whatever you can to de-escalate the situation. I agree with being calm, but you don't need to be *overly* nice. Treat the student respectfully, but mostly, just be calm. If the student won't do his work? Don't worry about it. If he talks through instruction? Ignore it if you can. Try to ignore anything you are able to ignore.
If the student threatens you again, or God forbid, is physically aggressive with you, you'll have to decide what to do. My suggestion is to file a police report. Yes, I know this is an 12 year old. But your district is unlikely to do anything helpful. And you may have to decide whether or not to go on long term leave or quit. Do what's right for you and know your district doesn't care about you or any other school staff. That's the truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I told them this but they said they don’t think he is a threat. I don’t understand how threatening to punch a teacher only warrants a one day suspension.

Teacher here—he didn’t actually punch you, so there was a threat but no assault. One day suspension makes sense (students need to be in school). I also would not want him in my class, I understand why you are nervous. But since your admin won’t help you, here’s my advice (you’re not going to like it):

You need to be kind to this student. If he comes in and feels threatened because you are cold to him and taking notes on him constantly, he will be on edge and that’s what may make him more likely to hurt you. If you focus on repair and “kill him with kindness” attitude, he’s not going to want to hurt someone who is kind to him and who forgave him for something he knows deep down he shouldn’t have said. He may not deserve your kindness, but you extending warmth to him may save you from assault. Also, you gain back the power he tried to take from you. And students who know adults don’t have power are simultaneously thrilled and scared.

You can do this, op. Deep breaths. Head held high. Smile on your face. Eye contact with the boy. Take back control.

Finally a smart response

[Anonymous]

No one talks about the trauma teachers face on a daily basis. I have a student that I do not feel safe with. He walks behind me or the other teacher and acts like he is going to head butt us. He is constantly following us around the room. I am constantly in the flight or fight response with him. I wish I could be overly kind to him, but I can't when I fear him. That is what trauma does. I am a horrible person, because there are times when I wish he would actually do it, because I would walk out and never come back.

Admin can't do anything and his parents don't respond to calls or requests for meeting. They have pretty much ghosted the school and there really isn't anything they can do.

This is why I am leaving teaching at the end of the year, if I can make it that far.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's my advice:
Document everything but don't let him know you are doing that. Do whatever you can to de-escalate the situation. I agree with being calm, but you don't need to be *overly* nice. Treat the student respectfully, but mostly, just be calm. If the student won't do his work? Don't worry about it. If he talks through instruction? Ignore it if you can. Try to ignore anything you are able to ignore.
If the student threatens you again, or God forbid, is physically aggressive with you, you'll have to decide what to do. My suggestion is to file a police report. Yes, I know this is an 12 year old. But your district is unlikely to do anything helpful. And you may have to decide whether or not to go on long term leave or quit. Do what's right for you and know your district doesn't care about you or any other school staff. That's the truth.

I know a teacher who was in this situation and mentioned to admin that if he did assault her, she would file a police report. Admin took it as a racist act and she is now deemed to not be 'anti-racist'. This is what teachers are up against. We just have to put up with being constantly threatened and hope that we won't be assaulted.

[Anonymous]

If admin finds out you are making a paper trail documenting student violence they might make a paper trail about the teacher and how they are bad teachers who do not have control/ bad classroom management. Teachers are easy targets for blame and I don't recommend this profession.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a teacher I’m shocked they actually suspended him which is sad.

Same. I’m impressed he was suspended without actually punching.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll disclose that I'm not a teacher and found this in Recent, but I'd file a police report and make a complaint through my union.

I’m not a member. I wish I was.

It only takes a minute to join.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one talks about the trauma teachers face on a daily basis. I have a student that I do not feel safe with. He walks behind me or the other teacher and acts like he is going to head butt us. He is constantly following us around the room. I am constantly in the flight or fight response with him. I wish I could be overly kind to him, but I can't when I fear him. That is what trauma does. I am a horrible person, because there are times when I wish he would actually do it, because I would walk out and never come back.

Admin can't do anything and his parents don't respond to calls or requests for meeting. They have pretty much ghosted the school and there really isn't anything they can do.

This is why I am leaving teaching at the end of the year, if I can make it that far.

Find a new job ASAP. It was taking such a toll on me. It turns out I don’t have an anxiety disorder anymore. I’m a librarian now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a teacher I’m shocked they actually suspended him which is sad.

This.
-teachers everywhere

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a teacher I’m shocked they actually suspended him which is sad.

+1. OP, put everything in writing. Include dates, times, exactly what the student said, and the administration’s response. Email to your admin and ask for confirmation. They won’t like it but it CYA for the next time with you or another teacher when they claim it’s never happened before. Also check the online record to make sure it was documented. Sometimes these things “disappear”.

Yes to all of the above. Also:
Starting now, make sure you always have a clipboard with paper on it (it can be a copy of your schedule or something innocuous like that) and pen in your hands at all times. You’ll always be able to jot down a few key details with the time and date that you can later email to your admin and union, and the kid’s parents, that way.

And join your union!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll disclose that I'm not a teacher and found this in Recent, but I'd file a police report and make a complaint through my union.

I’m not a member. I wish I was.

It only takes a minute to join.

Not the OP, but it also takes money. Let’s not be cavalier about the costs.
But OP, you should still join if at ALL possible. See if there are any signup discounts or membership incentives. But still… join the union.

[Anonymous]

OP if you are local you will have no problem finding a new position