Sleepovers in Same-Sex Relationships

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say definitely no to just the 2 of them, but if it were a group of girls that were all staying in the same room/space I would probably allow it.

Girl-stuff happens in groups too

It’s not sexual activity that I would be trying to prevent with no sleepovers - it’s the inappropriately intense intimacy of basically playing like a married couple.

That said I gave in for my 11th grader but this isn’t her first relationship

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand how this is even a question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how this is even a question.

Because it’s just 2 girls! No pregnancy risk, no loss of virginity, and almost no risk of STIs.

Plus, if you don’t allow it, you are forcing them to sneak around behind your back. And that could be unsafe.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s too much pressure on them. So many things could go wrong.

[Anonymous]

Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how this is even a question.

Because it’s just 2 girls! No pregnancy risk, no loss of virginity, and almost no risk of STIs.

Plus, if you don’t allow it, you are forcing them to sneak around behind your back. And that could be unsafe.

It isn’t emotionally appropriate to be in a sexually relationship at 14-15, with either sex.

[Anonymous]

This thread is nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s fair to just say no sleepovers with romantic partners, regardless of sex. Seems simple enough.

+1. I don't see why it being two girls would be any different than boy/girl. Spending the night together is way too intense for that age.

Yeah, but if that were the rule I could see many kids hiding their romantic relationships.

Maybe, but saying "I won't set a standard of behavior for my kids because they might sneak around and not meet that standard" is probably not a good way to approach parenting. Yes, they may break rules, but that doesn't mean you have no rules.

[Anonymous]

Nothing good comes from sleepovers. Cranky kids. Unsupervised situations. Just say no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how this is even a question.

Because it’s just 2 girls! No pregnancy risk, no loss of virginity, and almost no risk of STIs.

Plus, if you don’t allow it, you are forcing them to sneak around behind your back. And that could be unsafe.

You are wrong about this. Signed, a lesbian.

[Anonymous]

Just say no.

Sleepovers have gotten too complex. My kid has friends of both sexes and all types of orientations. We're just a "no sleepover" family, period.

[Anonymous]

Nope. Too early for the intensity of intimacy at the age with any gender partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is nuts.

I sometimes come across threads like this on DCUM and think to myself "and this is why Trump won." It's crazy to me that parents would consider a romantic sleepover because it's a same sex couple and you're trying to show how super cool and supportive you are about it. The emotions and intensity and intimacy are all there. Just because nobody is getting pregnant doesn't make it any less of a relationship and it is completely okay to establish age appropriate boundaries. Like, I don't know, maybe not setting up a safe space for underage kids to have sex in your house.

[Anonymous]

I'd try to find a way to say no to all sleepovers in the future. I'm with the pp who said that nothing good becomes of sleepovers.

I also agree with the pp who said it's not sex you're trying to stop-- it's the intimacy that could cause the relationship to become too intense.

For this reason, I'd probably allow 'big' sleepovers.

Of course, if you've allowed sleepovers frequently up to this point (personally, we haven't), it becomes difficult to say no now.

Can you just come up with an excuse for the time being? ("Life is too busy right now." or "I've been feeling overwhelmed lately and just don't want the complexity."). This could punt the issue down the road for a few months, at least, and you could reassess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how this is even a question.

Because it’s just 2 girls! No pregnancy risk, no loss of virginity, and almost no risk of STIs.

Plus, if you don’t allow it, you are forcing them to sneak around behind your back. And that could be unsafe.

You are sick

+1000

You don't allow your kids to have open sex at your home (let's be honest, that's the real question), because it's disrespectful and not age appropriate for young teenagers. This is the case regardless of gender or sexual orientation.