Did you want a new relationship after your divorce and did it happen for you?

[Anonymous]

I thought I wanted one, it I’m financially secure on my own (not rich, but I pay my own bills just fine), and saw how hard it was for my two kids to adjust to their dad’s blended family. Also… the quality of men out there in our age range…. I’ve yet to find one that adds anything to my life.

Yes, it can be fun to date, but marry?!?! I don’t want to have to make another adult man’s dental appointments and do his laundry. I like being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want. I like not having to make alllll the decisions for another person.

Men are easy to find if you want companionship. If you are looking for a man to add value to your life, it might be a lot harder in this area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought I wanted one, it I’m financially secure on my own (not rich, but I pay my own bills just fine), and saw how hard it was for my two kids to adjust to their dad’s blended family. Also… the quality of men out there in our age range…. I’ve yet to find one that adds anything to my life.

Yes, it can be fun to date, but marry?!?! I don’t want to have to make another adult man’s dental appointments and do his laundry. I like being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want. I like not having to make alllll the decisions for another person.

Men are easy to find if you want companionship. If you are looking for a man to add value to your life, it might be a lot harder in this area.

I never made my exH's dentist appointments or did his laundry. I don't do this for my boyfriend, either.

I would probably get married again, when it felt right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Recently divorced and now I'm through the initial hump, I find I'm thinking about the future and wondering if I'll ever meet anyone again.

Am a woman, mid 40s, have a good job, 7 and 10 year old. 'decent' looks wise (or at least I used to be - sigh). I'm funny if that helps!

Feels kind of sad to imagine that was it but then i know for a lot of people they never do meet someone new so wondering about folks experiences on here.

It's easy to meet people. The harder part is finding someone your kids like and who can play the role you want him to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Recently divorced and now I'm through the initial hump, I find I'm thinking about the future and wondering if I'll ever meet anyone again.

Am a woman, mid 40s, have a good job, 7 and 10 year old. 'decent' looks wise (or at least I used to be - sigh). I'm funny if that helps!

Feels kind of sad to imagine that was it but then i know for a lot of people they never do meet someone new so wondering about folks experiences on here.

It's easy to meet people. The harder part is finding someone your kids like and who can play the role you want him to.

that's the thing. I feel like:
a. who would want me and both my kids/ want to be a great stepdad to them (no one sane?)
b. not bring own excessive baggage

but i like the idea of soulmate and sharing life and being together and helping each other when old. I'm still a romantic...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Recently divorced and now I'm through the initial hump, I find I'm thinking about the future and wondering if I'll ever meet anyone again.

Am a woman, mid 40s, have a good job, 7 and 10 year old. 'decent' looks wise (or at least I used to be - sigh). I'm funny if that helps!

Feels kind of sad to imagine that was it but then i know for a lot of people they never do meet someone new so wondering about folks experiences on here.

It's easy to meet people. The harder part is finding someone your kids like and who can play the role you want him to.

that's the thing. I feel like:
a. who would want me and both my kids/ want to be a great stepdad to them (no one sane?)
b. not bring own excessive baggage

but i like the idea of soulmate and sharing life and being together and helping each other when old. I'm still a romantic...

One step at a time…

Not everyone finds this. But lots of people find fulfillment and fun after divorce.

[Anonymous]

OP, keep in mind that most men who would be okay with you having young children will also have young children. That is a hot mess. It only took one relationship with a divorced dad of a teen daughter and a 21-yr-old daughter for me to say NEVER again to dating someone with kids. I think it's far worse for the woman than it is for the man when it comes to his kids rejecting you and making your life miserable, especially if he has daughters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:as newly divorced focus on your kids and stabilize the parenting stuff, then you can think of dating. Most would recommend waiting until they are in high school or in college.

🙄

Men never do this.

OP, if you want to date, go date. But men are visual and you have to take care of yourself.

Lots of duds but there are a few good ones out there. They will also be divorced with kids.

[Anonymous]

I love having someone to be nice to, someone to do fun things with, someone to have sex with, have a few laughs with, but no need to combine lives, the early days feel like love and are incredibly satisfying but then…. the veil is lifted and you see the reason why this person is available.

Rinse
Repeat

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Recently divorced and now I'm through the initial hump, I find I'm thinking about the future and wondering if I'll ever meet anyone again.

Am a woman, mid 40s, have a good job, 7 and 10 year old. 'decent' looks wise (or at least I used to be - sigh). I'm funny if that helps!

Feels kind of sad to imagine that was it but then i know for a lot of people they never do meet someone new so wondering about folks experiences on here.

It's easy to meet people. The harder part is finding someone your kids like and who can play the role you want him to.

that's the thing. I feel like:
a. who would want me and both my kids/ want to be a great stepdad to them (no one sane?)
b. not bring own excessive baggage

but i like the idea of soulmate and sharing life and being together and helping each other when old. I'm still a romantic...

I thought the same thing. It's really true there's a lid for every pot. What shifted was a friend gave me a pep talk when I was saying no one would want to date a mom like me and she said that was toxic and I had to believe I could have any man I wanted. I have the kindest and gentlest boyfriend now that my kids adore. He has baggage but don't we all. The main thing is to find someone willing to admit and deal with the baggage through proven means (can apologize, willing to try therapy, takes suggestions).

[Anonymous]

Dear God no.

Never again.

[Anonymous]

Having fun right now. Not ready for relationship any time soon. Maybe in 5-7 years.

[Anonymous]

I divorced in my early 30s but already had 3 kids. I never found anyone partly because I was busy working and supporting three kids, but also because most quality men could choose a woman my age without kids. I guess I could have looked for much older men or military men - but I am fine. Divorce is about the end of a relationship; it doesn’t contain a promise for another one. That said, if that’s what you want, make time for it. It won’t get easier with time.

[Anonymous]

OP- Date, date, date and then date some more. Boost your ego, have a fling, take up golf & go to happy hour afterwards, travel and meet men, do what you want because you CAN. Here's the thing- later in life (45+) men NEED women more than the other way. Women need men in their 20s and 30s. You will meet many, many lonely men out there. If you date a little older than your age range, be wary of becoming someone's nurse... IFYKYK

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP- Date, date, date and then date some more. Boost your ego, have a fling, take up golf & go to happy hour afterwards, travel and meet men, do what you want because you CAN. Here's the thing- later in life (45+) men NEED women more than the other way. Women need men in their 20s and 30s. You will meet many, many lonely men out there. If you date a little older than your age range, be wary of becoming someone's nurse... IFYKYK

This. I’m 46 and I know 6-7 amazing available men and only one amazing available woman. It’s the opposite of what it was when we were early 30s.

[Anonymous]

I have been divorced for 2 years now. I am 47. I am tall attractive sexy rich friendly great hobbies charismatic etc. I am one of the rare men that still get approached by women of all ages.

But I am single. I have no desire for romantic or even FWB relationship. Having given 120% of myself to my ex wife and still ended divorce I have no appetite to go down the path of another relationship again. I am enjoying raising my children, the rare hookups I get when I am very horny, and my hobbies.

I have heard that men rush into relationships post divorce and honestly I am surprised that men are so quick to rush into devoting themselves to another woman again.