DD has started going to bed without saying good night

[Anonymous]

Is the light off? If not, knock on her door and go in and say goodnight.

If her light is off, say, let me know when you’re heading to bed, I don’t want to miss saying good night.

[Anonymous]

No, we always say good night. We all do “lights out” around the and time.

[Anonymous]

Mine still say goodnight with a hug and kiss on top of the head or something. Even if they’re upstairs doing homework after dinner, they’ll come down to say goodnight before shutting off the light and going to sleep.

18 and 14yo boys. I think if they didn’t - I’d just pop my head in and say hey, you didn’t come to say good night. Everything ok? Love you, night.

[Anonymous]

Yes very normal.

I think it's more because they are scrolling tiktok or whatever before they actually sleep so they don't literally don't feel like, goodnight mommy i'm doing to bed, like when they were younger and good night meant, I am drifting to sleep in the next few minutes.

They are going into their own rooms and doing their own winding down. Not trying to be rude. In fact, maybe this is too deep, but saying good night might signify mentally, I am on my own now til morning. Maybe they don't want that- they want to know that you are there if they need them still. Just my pop armchair psychology lol. All this to say- normal normal normal inching towards independence.

I can see why it's a little sad for you though. I'm a single mom so I don't have a DH to turn to. But, I still have an elementary kid who wants my full attention until he's snoring!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the past couple of nights DD has just started going to her room for bed without saying goodnight. This makes me sad, but it also seems like it’s skipping such a basic form of polite communication and basic connection between people who live together. It’s just the two of us in the house.

Do other teens do this?

No, no other teens do this.

[Anonymous]

Ordinary. No reason you can't go in and give them a kiss goodnight, once you notice. That would be sweet. Doing something nice without expecting anything in return.

[Anonymous]

I agree it’s the communication aspect.I encourage you to express your need/expectation and the reasoning.

We are a family of four, two parents a son and daughter- in our home we announce when going to bed or leaving as a courtesy to others in the home. Kids are now adults and out of the house but when together it’s a quick goodnight or ‘bye vs long cuddles. This is a pattern from my family of origin; my husband’s family does not do it.

The dogs announce all arrivals!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the past couple of nights DD has just started going to her room for bed without saying goodnight. This makes me sad, but it also seems like it’s skipping such a basic form of polite communication and basic connection between people who live together. It’s just the two of us in the house.

Do other teens do this?

One of mine does, the other does not.
But the one who does is more generally more present in the main parts of the house, whereas the one who doesn't cocoons herself in her room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the past couple of nights DD has just started going to her room for bed without saying goodnight. This makes me sad, but it also seems like it’s skipping such a basic form of polite communication and basic connection between people who live together. It’s just the two of us in the house.

Do other teens do this?

Just the two of you? Where is her father?

Get a hobby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the past couple of nights DD has just started going to her room for bed without saying goodnight. This makes me sad, but it also seems like it’s skipping such a basic form of polite communication and basic connection between people who live together. It’s just the two of us in the house.

Do other teens do this?

Just the two of you? Where is her father?

Wtf? Maybe the father is your husband.
Get a life!

[Anonymous]

I'd maybe just let her know that you'd like some sort of heads-up that she's going to sleep, so that you don't accidentally wake her.

I have a DS and a DD, and DS still wants a good night kiss, though sometimes he'll tuck me in instead of me tucking him in ('cause energy levels). DD will definitely go to bed without comment, but I do generally wish her a good night when I'm heading to bed (almost always before her). Same purpose: don't want her waking me up because she didn't realize I went to sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes very normal.

I think it's more because they are scrolling tiktok or whatever before they actually sleep so they don't literally don't feel like, goodnight mommy i'm doing to bed, like when they were younger and good night meant, I am drifting to sleep in the next few minutes.

They are going into their own rooms and doing their own winding down. Not trying to be rude. In fact, maybe this is too deep, but saying good night might signify mentally, I am on my own now til morning. Maybe they don't want that- they want to know that you are there if they need them still. Just my pop armchair psychology lol. All this to say- normal normal normal inching towards independence.

I can see why it's a little sad for you though. I'm a single mom so I don't have a DH to turn to. But, I still have an elementary kid who wants my full attention until he's snoring!

Yikes my oldest is just 15 but they and their friends whose parents I know are not allowed to take phones in their bedrooms at night.

[Anonymous]

We do a group hug most night. Used to be every night but schedules don't always allow it now. They are juniors in HS.

[Anonymous]

lol, yes. Completely normal. Please make sure to allow normal behaviors.

[Anonymous]

Growing up it was a rule in our house that everyone yell "Bye!" when leaving and everyone yell "I'm home!" when arriving. We also had to ask to be excused from family meals and yes, say "Good night" when going to bed. Just announce that you're reminding everyone of the house rules and include that one in the list.