Cost—yikes!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. No, he wasn’t worried he’ll run out of money. He was advising us to make sure we have enough money. He’s able to do this with his military pension and interest from investments without touching the principal. It is a great gift to me. But I do not have the funds to pay for what they’re paying for (and the odds that I will need the sort of care my mother is getting are high.). Just thought we were better positioned than we are. It is a shocking amount of money.

His military pension is a drop in the bucket. He invested wisely and that's what's funding this.

My mom invested very wisely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people who need this much care don’t need it for very long, usually a year or two, so spending down principal isn’t a problem. I don’t think you can plan for the worst case scenario. And if you do need 24/7 care for more than a few years then you often are not aware of its quality by the end of it…

Tell that to my mother, with Multiple Sclerosis, or my MIL, with Parkinson's.

You never think it will happen to you or to a loved one until it does.

Yep

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. No, he wasn’t worried he’ll run out of money. He was advising us to make sure we have enough money. He’s able to do this with his military pension and interest from investments without touching the principal. It is a great gift to me. But I do not have the funds to pay for what they’re paying for (and the odds that I will need the sort of care my mother is getting are high.). Just thought we were better positioned than we are. It is a shocking amount of money.

His military pension is a drop in the bucket. He invested wisely and that's what's funding this.

My mom invested very wisely.

That’s great. You didn’t even mention your mom in your previous post, only your dad.

[Anonymous]

OP, make sure you see if the CCRC has any sort of safety net for when people run out of money. I was looking into a few options for my parents, and the communities had a special fund for exactly that. It's one of the reasons I plan on buying into a CCRC when I'm older. I don't want my kids to have to worry about moving me if I outlive my money.

[Anonymous]

OP - if you both are in good health see what kind of LTC insurance you might qualify for. It could be one aspect of paying for care to consider. You might also look at the CCRCs in your area to see if any do guarantee care if assets run out. You need an experienced lawyer to read the complete contract .
In our area there is a beautiful CCRC with an A and a B contract, an an elder care lawyer clearly showed a group presentation that only A had the complete lifetime care option. Both were involving upfront cost payments, but there was a difference in coverage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad just volunteered that they’re spending 25k/month these days. That pays for the continuing care facility they’re in, with my dad in independent living and my mother in skilled nursing (I think that’s what it’s called—she’s mostly incapacitated), as well as private CNAs 4-6 hours/day when my dad is not with her.
I feel like we have saved well for retirement, but I will not have enough to pay 300k/year based on interest/pension alone; we would have to spend down the principal.
My husband is planning to switch jobs in his 60s to something much more fulfilling and much less stressful well-paying. I really want him to do this, but I am sick to my stomach at this price tag.

Yup. This is typical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you be opposed to spending down the principal?

+1

?

OP—because I’m worried we’ll run out of money.

Then Medicaid kicks in

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean at some point you need to decide if the cost benefit is worth it. Is your mom really living? But yes, it’s insanely expensive and most people who choose to go with this much care spend down principal.

What’s the other option? You don’t just die when you decide to die.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean at some point you need to decide if the cost benefit is worth it. Is your mom really living? But yes, it’s insanely expensive and most people who choose to go with this much care spend down principal.

What’s the other option? You don’t just die when you decide to die.

I really wish you could decide in advance you don't want to live being "mostly incapacitated". It is ridiculous that you can't. I don't see the point in spending all that money. I would much rather my children and grandchildren had that money. I am hoping that in 25-30 years when I reach 80 there will be that option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Was there a point to your father sharing this with you? As in, is he worried he might run out of money? Is he hoping you might help?

There are government homes, OP, but a lot of them are not pleasant. There are waitlists, and they do a thorough check of assets, including a look back period of several years, to make sure you haven't squirreled wealth away somewhere.

Hmm, there are not government homes, but nursing homes that take Medicaid for residents. Yes, you complete forms and dissolve your assets (not all if one of the couple is not a resident - "community spouse").

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you be opposed to spending down the principal?

Not OP, but we are in the same boat. The point is to build generational wealth and pass down our portfolios to our children.
If we can get away with living on our dividends, that's the ideal solution.

That’s not really the point. The main point is to ensure your kids don’t have to pay for your care…if that means using your principal so be it.

Of course the ideal situation is to live a nice life independently and then die peacefully in your sleep at a ripe old age without any multi year incapacitation…but then life happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, make sure you see if the CCRC has any sort of safety net for when people run out of money. I was looking into a few options for my parents, and the communities had a special fund for exactly that. It's one of the reasons I plan on buying into a CCRC when I'm older. I don't want my kids to have to worry about moving me if I outlive my money.

My parents CcRC functions like that. The huge entry fee covers you if you “outlive” your money. You live for free and they don’t include ss in it.

[Anonymous]

Having been through 2 parents need of LTC, we have opted to pay for LTC insurance. It isn't nearly as good as it used to be, but better than full private pay. We don't want our kids having to shoulder the bill as we did for our parents.

NW: 7m
LTC cost/year (for now): 6K/year

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Was there a point to your father sharing this with you? As in, is he worried he might run out of money? Is he hoping you might help?

There are government homes, OP, but a lot of them are not pleasant. There are waitlists, and they do a thorough check of assets, including a look back period of several years, to make sure you haven't squirreled wealth away somewhere.

Hmm, there are not government homes, but nursing homes that take Medicaid for residents. Yes, you complete forms and dissolve your assets (not all if one of the couple is not a resident - "community spouse").

Thanks for the clarification. I can never remember if it's Medicare or Medicaid!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Was there a point to your father sharing this with you? As in, is he worried he might run out of money? Is he hoping you might help?

There are government homes, OP, but a lot of them are not pleasant. There are waitlists, and they do a thorough check of assets, including a look back period of several years, to make sure you haven't squirreled wealth away somewhere.

Hmm, there are not government homes, but nursing homes that take Medicaid for residents. Yes, you complete forms and dissolve your assets (not all if one of the couple is not a resident - "community spouse").

Thanks for the clarification. I can never remember if it's Medicare or Medicaid!

I would think it’s Medicare. Medicare is for the elderly. Medicare is for the poor or disabled.