Cost—yikes!
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Anonymous
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My dad just volunteered that they’re spending 25k/month these days. That pays for the continuing care facility they’re in, with my dad in independent living and my mother in skilled nursing (I think that’s what it’s called—she’s mostly incapacitated), as well as private CNAs 4-6 hours/day when my dad is not with her.
I feel like we have saved well for retirement, but I will not have enough to pay 300k/year based on interest/pension alone; we would have to spend down the principal. My husband is planning to switch jobs in his 60s to something much more fulfilling and much less stressful well-paying. I really want him to do this, but I am sick to my stomach at this price tag. |
Anonymous
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Was there a point to your father sharing this with you? As in, is he worried he might run out of money? Is he hoping you might help? There are government homes, OP, but a lot of them are not pleasant. There are waitlists, and they do a thorough check of assets, including a look back period of several years, to make sure you haven't squirreled wealth away somewhere. |
Anonymous
| OP here. No, he wasn’t worried he’ll run out of money. He was advising us to make sure we have enough money. He’s able to do this with his military pension and interest from investments without touching the principal. It is a great gift to me. But I do not have the funds to pay for what they’re paying for (and the odds that I will need the sort of care my mother is getting are high.). Just thought we were better positioned than we are. It is a shocking amount of money. |
Anonymous
| I mean at some point you need to decide if the cost benefit is worth it. Is your mom really living? But yes, it’s insanely expensive and most people who choose to go with this much care spend down principal. |
Anonymous
| Op even assisted living I’ve looked at with very little care runs about $10k a month. |
Anonymous
| Most people who need this much care don’t need it for very long, usually a year or two, so spending down principal isn’t a problem. I don’t think you can plan for the worst case scenario. And if you do need 24/7 care for more than a few years then you often are not aware of its quality by the end of it… |
Anonymous
Tell that to my mother, with Multiple Sclerosis, or my MIL, with Parkinson's. You never think it will happen to you or to a loved one until it does. |
Anonymous
| Why would you be opposed to spending down the principal? |
Anonymous
| #America |
Anonymous
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Formulate and lock down your end of life plans to include whether or not you want a DNR order and under what conditions and age.
My late father lived in a semi vegetative state and coded; revived and lingered for 6 grueling months and two weeks of hospice. My mom kept kept him alive despite rapidly increasing dementia symptoms through blood pressure meds and every treatment available as symptoms developed. They had outstanding comprehensive long term care insurance that I understand is no longer available likely because of patients like my father. His care was well into a million dollars - maybe far more. Two years in skilled nursing with hired aides. |
Anonymous
+1 ? |
Anonymous
OP—because I’m worried we’ll run out of money. |
Anonymous
Not OP, but we are in the same boat. The point is to build generational wealth and pass down our portfolios to our children. If we can get away with living on our dividends, that's the ideal solution. |
Anonymous
His military pension is a drop in the bucket. He invested wisely and that's what's funding this. |
Anonymous
| This is why I disagree with my DH every time he tells me we have plenty of money. |