DS's friend called me a "tiger mom"- should I say something?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not liking Korean food I don’t think is racist.
I would consider calling out the tiger mom comment, but my kid would probably just get embarrassed.

- Asian mom (but not a “tiger mom”)



+1 Is it because he said Asian rather than Korean? Because I think it's perfectly fine to dislike particular cuisines. One of my kids doesn't like Japanese food, for example. I don't care for Spanish.

As for the tiger mom comment, having a kid fully scheduled so that he doesn't have any free time on the weekend fits. I hear tiger mom used generically these days, not with reference to race. Just the type A+ moms gunning for Ivy admissions.




No, it’s rude to tell someone you don’t like an entire cuisine especially when it’s their culture’s cuisine.

It’s ok to say “I don’t really like pepperoni, would it be ok if I took it off or if we ordered half cheese?”. It’s not ok to say “I don’t like Italian food” and ask for something else when you’re at your Italian friend’s house.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Kid is disrespectful for sure but I think racist is a leap.


Whatever.
Disrespectful is enough for me. I wouldn't dig any further.
NP
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not liking Korean food I don’t think is racist.
I would consider calling out the tiger mom comment, but my kid would probably just get embarrassed.

- Asian mom (but not a “tiger mom”)


I feel like lumping all Asian food together is sort of ignorant, if not racist. Chicken tikka masala is very different from seaweed salad.


Most Americans would consider chicken tikka masala to be Indian food, not Asian. Americans don’t think of Indian food or people as Asian. That’s more of a British way of thinking.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not liking Korean food I don’t think is racist.
I would consider calling out the tiger mom comment, but my kid would probably just get embarrassed.

- Asian mom (but not a “tiger mom”)


I feel like lumping all Asian food together is sort of ignorant, if not racist. Chicken tikka masala is very different from seaweed salad.


Stop getting riled up about sh!t that doesn’t matter.

Nobody calls Indian food Asian food. Asian food (as used by Americans, and FYI we are in America) means Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Thai, etc. And obviously it’s not all the same food. No cuisine in the entire world is comprised of all the same food. Wouldn’t you agree that Haggis is very different from Yorkshire pudding?
Anonymous
Same. Korean mix. I have been called that, it’s annoying and not true, but I responded yeah it’s great that my kid is so motivated and always has been - thanks”
The food comment also rude, it’s not like we eat 100% Asian, but my kids are proud of their culture and love their kimchi and jiggae and would be very offended if a friend made a comment.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not liking Korean food I don’t think is racist.
I would consider calling out the tiger mom comment, but my kid would probably just get embarrassed.

- Asian mom (but not a “tiger mom”)



+1 Is it because he said Asian rather than Korean? Because I think it's perfectly fine to dislike particular cuisines. One of my kids doesn't like Japanese food, for example. I don't care for Spanish.

As for the tiger mom comment, having a kid fully scheduled so that he doesn't have any free time on the weekend fits. I hear tiger mom used generically these days, not with reference to race. Just the type A+ moms gunning for Ivy admissions.




No, it’s rude to tell someone you don’t like an entire cuisine especially when it’s their culture’s cuisine.

It’s ok to say “I don’t really like pepperoni, would it be ok if I took it off or if we ordered half cheese?”. It’s not ok to say “I don’t like Italian food” and ask for something else when you’re at your Italian friend’s house.


It’s rude, but he’s 12, not 22.
Anonymous
I would just say he's busy, also 12 year olds can answer for themselves.

I'll add that I am a tiger mom compared to my DS' friends so I don't contest it. Both of his good friends do nothing at all so they are always free, DS has a sport + instrument.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:DH and I are both half Korean, and Korean culture is a big part of our family life. DS12 has a friend who is not Asian and who, in the past, has made some mildly racist comments in front of me, but not at me. For example, at a sleepover they had a few weeks ago, I had to order pizza because he is "not a fan of Asian food." This kind of thing is annoying but I usually let it slide.

Yesterday, I was dropping off this friend after a playdate at our house when he asked if they could have another playdate on a specific date next weekend. I said no, sorry, DS has a violin recital and then tutoring (yes, I know these are both stereotypically Asian things). This friend, now addressing DS, says, "Your mom is such a tiger mom, bro." (or something similar to that).

This really set me off, although I didn't say anything in the moment. I really want to say something to this kid's mother, but I'm not sure if it's appropriate. I'm sick of this kid's casual racism, even if it's unintentional.

Sigh!


Let it go.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I mean, is he wrong?


Who cares? It's not his place to say stuff like this. He is not cooperating with OP. He is a 12 year old brat and I would have told him not to say that again.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not liking Korean food I don’t think is racist.
I would consider calling out the tiger mom comment, but my kid would probably just get embarrassed.

- Asian mom (but not a “tiger mom”)



+1 Is it because he said Asian rather than Korean? Because I think it's perfectly fine to dislike particular cuisines. One of my kids doesn't like Japanese food, for example. I don't care for Spanish.

As for the tiger mom comment, having a kid fully scheduled so that he doesn't have any free time on the weekend fits. I hear tiger mom used generically these days, not with reference to race. Just the type A+ moms gunning for Ivy admissions.




No, it’s rude to tell someone you don’t like an entire cuisine especially when it’s their culture’s cuisine.

It’s ok to say “I don’t really like pepperoni, would it be ok if I took it off or if we ordered half cheese?”. It’s not ok to say “I don’t like Italian food” and ask for something else when you’re at your Italian friend’s house.


It’s rude, but he’s 12, not 22.

This! Why does anyone care what a 12 year old thinks?!?!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not liking Korean food I don’t think is racist.
I would consider calling out the tiger mom comment, but my kid would probably just get embarrassed.

- Asian mom (but not a “tiger mom”)


I feel like lumping all Asian food together is sort of ignorant, if not racist. Chicken tikka masala is very different from seaweed salad.


Stop getting riled up about sh!t that doesn’t matter.

Nobody calls Indian food Asian food. Asian food (as used by Americans, and FYI we are in America) means Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Thai, etc. And obviously it’s not all the same food. No cuisine in the entire world is comprised of all the same food. Wouldn’t you agree that Haggis is very different from Yorkshire pudding?


I don't like any of the foods you mentioned above. I agree they are different, but I happen to not like any of them. So for shorthand if I'm with friends and we're deciding what to order, I'll say please not Asian food. Is this wrong? Otherwise I'd have to list them all out.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not liking Korean food I don’t think is racist.
I would consider calling out the tiger mom comment, but my kid would probably just get embarrassed.

- Asian mom (but not a “tiger mom”)



+1 Is it because he said Asian rather than Korean? Because I think it's perfectly fine to dislike particular cuisines. One of my kids doesn't like Japanese food, for example. I don't care for Spanish.

As for the tiger mom comment, having a kid fully scheduled so that he doesn't have any free time on the weekend fits. I hear tiger mom used generically these days, not with reference to race. Just the type A+ moms gunning for Ivy admissions.




No, it’s rude to tell someone you don’t like an entire cuisine especially when it’s their culture’s cuisine.

It’s ok to say “I don’t really like pepperoni, would it be ok if I took it off or if we ordered half cheese?”. It’s not ok to say “I don’t like Italian food” and ask for something else when you’re at your Italian friend’s house.


It’s rude, but he’s 12, not 22.


Nah, I’d give a 5-7 year old a pass on this, but if you’re old enough to eat at someone else’s house without your own parents there, you’re old enough to know basic manners.

A 12 year old not being able to politely navigate this is stunted and immature.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not liking Korean food I don’t think is racist.
I would consider calling out the tiger mom comment, but my kid would probably just get embarrassed.

- Asian mom (but not a “tiger mom”)



+1 Is it because he said Asian rather than Korean? Because I think it's perfectly fine to dislike particular cuisines. One of my kids doesn't like Japanese food, for example. I don't care for Spanish.

As for the tiger mom comment, having a kid fully scheduled so that he doesn't have any free time on the weekend fits. I hear tiger mom used generically these days, not with reference to race. Just the type A+ moms gunning for Ivy admissions.




No, it’s rude to tell someone you don’t like an entire cuisine especially when it’s their culture’s cuisine.

It’s ok to say “I don’t really like pepperoni, would it be ok if I took it off or if we ordered half cheese?”. It’s not ok to say “I don’t like Italian food” and ask for something else when you’re at your Italian friend’s house.


It’s rude, but he’s 12, not 22.


Nah, I’d give a 5-7 year old a pass on this, but if you’re old enough to eat at someone else’s house without your own parents there, you’re old enough to know basic manners.

A 12 year old not being able to politely navigate this is stunted and immature.


Horrors. An immature 12 year old.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I mean, is he wrong?


Who cares? It's not his place to say stuff like this. He is not cooperating with OP. He is a 12 year old brat and I would have told him not to say that again.


OP is just mad because it’s true. Only a kid would blurt it out though.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not liking Korean food I don’t think is racist.
I would consider calling out the tiger mom comment, but my kid would probably just get embarrassed.

- Asian mom (but not a “tiger mom”)


I feel like lumping all Asian food together is sort of ignorant, if not racist. Chicken tikka masala is very different from seaweed salad.


Stop getting riled up about sh!t that doesn’t matter.

Nobody calls Indian food Asian food. Asian food (as used by Americans, and FYI we are in America) means Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Thai, etc. And obviously it’s not all the same food. No cuisine in the entire world is comprised of all the same food. Wouldn’t you agree that Haggis is very different from Yorkshire pudding?


I don't like any of the foods you mentioned above. I agree they are different, but I happen to not like any of them. So for shorthand if I'm with friends and we're deciding what to order, I'll say please not Asian food. Is this wrong? Otherwise I'd have to list them all out.


If your friend were Korean and offered you her homemade food, would you say, "I'm not a fan of Asian food?" That would be rude.
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