Birthday party etiquette

[Anonymous]

Yes, you bring a gift but does not need to be expensive.

As an aside, we are having my daughter’s third birthday and were considering also inviting the families in my younger kid’s daycare class even though we don’t know the other families that well — sounds like this might be similar to your situation / they’d be open to attending?

[Anonymous]

Bring a gift. A book is always a good bet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I expect the trolls to pounce on this, but if we don't know a family well and we're invited to their young child's party and the invite doesn't say "no gifts", I am less likely to want to go. I always say no gifts for my kids and have come to really appreciate that from other people as well, though it can be overridden if you really want to.

Than don't 'grace' them with your presence! Or presents.

[Anonymous]

My daughter had a party a few weeks ago and most of the gifts were probably $10-20. At 3, even a stuffed animal would be loved. That's an easy age to gift. Search for 3 year old gift on Target and you'll find something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I expect the trolls to pounce on this, but if we don't know a family well and we're invited to their young child's party and the invite doesn't say "no gifts", I am less likely to want to go. I always say no gifts for my kids and have come to really appreciate that from other people as well, though it can be overridden if you really want to.

Not sure why someone would be considered a troll if they disagree agree with you. When we were growing up, gifts were always a thing and it was part of the fun. I like buying gifts for people and I am disappointed when it says no gifts. Usually, I will give a small gift anyway. I look at it as bringing a bottle of wine or flowers to someone’s house when I am invited over. People in this area are so graceless. They lack basic manners. I think it’s ridiculous that you are less likely to want to go to someone’s party because you have pick out a gift for someone and spend a small amount of money. I think it’s good you don’t go to parties since you aren’t really interested in celebrating the child or “building community” for your child and their friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I expect the trolls to pounce on this, but if we don't know a family well and we're invited to their young child's party and the invite doesn't say "no gifts", I am less likely to want to go. I always say no gifts for my kids and have come to really appreciate that from other people as well, though it can be overridden if you really want to.

I think your child is invited to the party. It’s about them and the other 3 yr old. Why don’t you ask what your child would prefer? Would they like to go to a party, have fun and socialize? Or mope around the house feeling righteous but bored?

[Anonymous]

Yes, bring a gift. I’m not offended if a guest doesn’t bring a gift but I know some people who would be.

I have a 3 year old daughter and some hits for her have been a Minnie Mouse doll that sings, a stainless steel water bottle, a big soft baby doll, play doh and other arts/crafts supplies.

Duplos are also great. Don’t get legos; they’re unsafe for the younger sibling and still dubious at age 3. We received some for her bday but had to retire them because her baby sibling wanted to choke himself on them.

[Anonymous]

For all the progressive bleating about sensitivity to privilege and whatnot, I am always surprised at how obsessed my wealthy progressive friends are with no gift parties. They obviously didn’t grow up poor or they’d know that birthday parties are the only time some of us got gifts. It’s virtue signaling. Unless literally everyone in your friend group has lots of money, you’re making the less wealthy families feel embarrassed that they want to their their kids traditional parties and receive gifts. Shows kids who the haves and have nots are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For all the progressive bleating about sensitivity to privilege and whatnot, I am always surprised at how obsessed my wealthy progressive friends are with no gift parties. They obviously didn’t grow up poor or they’d know that birthday parties are the only time some of us got gifts. It’s virtue signaling. Unless literally everyone in your friend group has lots of money, you’re making the less wealthy families feel embarrassed that they want to their their kids traditional parties and receive gifts. Shows kids who the haves and have nots are.

Unrelated, but where are you from? Curious re "whatnot" usage (a fav. term of a sibling not in this area).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bring a gift. A book is always a good bet.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all the progressive bleating about sensitivity to privilege and whatnot, I am always surprised at how obsessed my wealthy progressive friends are with no gift parties. They obviously didn’t grow up poor or they’d know that birthday parties are the only time some of us got gifts. It’s virtue signaling. Unless literally everyone in your friend group has lots of money, you’re making the less wealthy families feel embarrassed that they want to their their kids traditional parties and receive gifts. Shows kids who the haves and have nots are.

Unrelated, but where are you from? Curious re "whatnot" usage (a fav. term of a sibling not in this area).

Don’t you know it’s racist and xenophobic to ask people where they are “really” from? Way to other someone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would this family invite the friend of the younger sibling when they don't know the family? Sounds weird.

It only sounds weird if you are not socialized well.

I am guessing that this is a way for the family to make friends with other parents and increase their circle. Very appropriate.

As for the gift - yes, please bring a gift for the 3 yr old. A gift worth $10 should not break your bank. Also, if they are also feeding the parents then make the gift worth $15.

White family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course you bring a gift! That's tradition in this country.

Hardly. Hospitality is not the tradition in this country. Especially of the majority culture.

[Anonymous]

We are a "no gifts please" family but of course we bring gifts to other parties unless instructed otherwise. Bring the gift.

[Anonymous]

PP to add: you don't get to impose your values on other people. Your friends (presumably) have similar values because they are your friends.