Birthday party etiquette

[Anonymous]

DD is 18 months old and is attending her first birthday party for a daycare friend where we don’t know the family well. (The party is actually for a classmate’s 3 year old sister.) The only other kid birthday parties my family has attended recently are for close friends’ children. In our friend group, the birthday child’s parents usually specify that guests should NOT bring gifts to the party. While a few guests may show up with gifts, the vast majority do not. It’s generally understood that gifts are unnecessary and, furthermore, not really wanted (mainly because most of our friends live in small spaces and are quickly running out of room for toys).

The invitation for this weekend doesn’t say anything about gifts one way or the other. We should bring a gift, right? DH is under the impression that people don’t really “do” gifts at young kids’ birthday parties these days, while I think the default assumption is that you should bring a gift unless you’re told otherwise. Help us settle this.

[Anonymous]

Follow up question from OP - assuming we should bring a gift, what kind of gift should we get for a 3 yo girl? We don’t really know much about her interests so wondering what kind of gift most 3 yos would like to receive.

[Anonymous]

Of course you bring a gift! That's tradition in this country.

[Anonymous]

Why would this family invite the friend of the younger sibling when they don't know the family? Sounds weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Follow up question from OP - assuming we should bring a gift, what kind of gift should we get for a 3 yo girl? We don’t really know much about her interests so wondering what kind of gift most 3 yos would like to receive.

Yes to the gift and I always do Lego/Duplo gifts.

[Anonymous]

If it says nothing, then the default is to being a gift. Something small and inexpensive is fine, particularly for this age. A sticker book, for example.

[Anonymous]

I'd bring a gift. Probably a book and some sort of stuffy.

[Anonymous]

Give a book.

[Anonymous]

Such a DCUM post, assuming that gifts are universally considered tacky and passé.

If it says nothing, that means bring a gift. Probably in the $20-30 dollar range.

Duplo, Magnatile, book, puzzle, a Melissa and Doug pretend kit, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it says nothing, then the default is to being a gift. Something small and inexpensive is fine, particularly for this age. A sticker book, for example.

^^this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Such a DCUM post, assuming that gifts are universally considered tacky and passé.

If it says nothing, that means bring a gift. Probably in the $20-30 dollar range.

Duplo, Magnatile, book, puzzle, a Melissa and Doug pretend kit, etc.

IKR. Of course bring a gift. My niece loves all her dress up princess stuff but art supplies, books, etc. are all great.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you bring a gift unless the invitation says "no gifts." Does not need to be big or expensive, but you should give something.

[Anonymous]

Book(s)

[Anonymous]

Buy something from Target or B&N with a gift receipt. They can easily swap it if needed.

[Anonymous]

I expect the trolls to pounce on this, but if we don't know a family well and we're invited to their young child's party and the invite doesn't say "no gifts", I am less likely to want to go. I always say no gifts for my kids and have come to really appreciate that from other people as well, though it can be overridden if you really want to.