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She should just go to an inexpensive state school or community college if she doesn’t have any motivation or interests. Or better yet, join the army or just get a menial job.
I know a lot of kids who became a lot more motivated wrt college after working in a restaurant kitchen or retail for a few months or years. It made them realize how incredibly lucky they were to have parents who cared about them, a decent elementary and high school education, funds for college, and a family without major drug or psychiatric problems. It’s a good wake up call. |
| OP, why haven't you answered how many colleges is "too short" of a list? |
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I wrote a long list of 50 schools and she worked from that.
It’s too much for kids to know ime. They only know what’s popular in their world. |
| Op, can she really go "anywhere"? Can you afford that? |
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I made the list for my kid.
My friends made the list for their kids. I know some posters will proudly announce that their kids did everything, but most 17 year olds are not able to apply by themselves. The process has ballooned to overly complex proportions. |
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Make sure she applies to a safety school that works for your family and knows that transferring is a valid possibility.
I didn't have a college list. I thought it would be smart to go to my non-DMV state flagship that had every major. My aunt had gone there and so my grandparents on that side approved. I was admitted to the Honors College and everyone was happy. So I only applied to one school. Got there and the classes and professors were fine but the social climate was bad. I got straight As and made a plan to transfer out by Christmastime. I enjoyed the school I transferred to for three years and graduated from. So I have a couple of observations: 1) Explaining that transferring with good grades is possible might take the pressure off. 2) Even kids who are logical decisionmakers and have a plan are not omniscient. 3) Apply to a few more schools "'in case". Many families don't tour until the kid is admitted. More help from relatives is better than no intervention. |
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Maybe she isn't ready to take control of the next phase of her life?
Let her apply to the two, if she doesn't get in, she can get a job and go to community college and try again next year. |
| I think if we take a step back here, we see that her friends are motivated and have their college lists put together, and she does not. Usually the peer pressure of seeing others take action is motivating. But not in this case. What are her feelings about graduating and going off to college? Is she very nervous? Is her part of her that doesn't want to? If she has those feelings, discuss them, don't dismiss them. I'm not saying anything like, she should stay home and go to community college! Just that if you discuss her hesitation now, and help her alleviate some fears, she might move forward and want to be more active in the process. Best of luck. |
That's funny. NP Here. We did the same. We printed out a list of 50 schools and posted it on the refrigerator. It as ordered from most expensive to least expensive. We drew a line under the top few and said, "nothing above this line." Just as examples of schools that were too expensive. We said research 10. We would talk about it. We knew the 10 would change a lot. it was just a place to start. |
| and in the end it didn't need to be one of those 50 |
I spent a year and a half researching every possible option for my child. I am good at this kind of thing. I still have my crazy long list in my iPhone notes. I know my child and this was just the easiest way to do things. We were looking for schools that were basically opposite of what most on this board are looking for. And my kiddo is not a great student, so needed a school that had good supports and services. Had to have the two programs she wanted as major possibilities-in the end, she did not pick a school because it only had one of her fields as a minor. I am thrilled with where she landed. It is the perfect school FOR HER. I helped her find it, took her to visit last fall and that was it. Maybe you can sit down with your child in front of a computer for a short while googling lists based on different criteria. Type of school, different programs, etc. there are a bunch of lists out there! Good luck-I just got back from dropping my child at her sweet little school in New England |
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My kid basically only looks at T20s. He’s at an Ivy this year. Applied to two in-state and a few T30 back ups.
He basically looked up schools strongest in his intended area of interest. We also had toured some he attended sports camps at and when on vacation trips. |
| pp, that is so nice to hear (np here) |
| Early junior year we got our child on contact lists for schools that were in our general geographic area, with a reasonable chance of acceptance and within our budget. |
Same. East peasy. |