How to find a school for my autistic daughter

[Anonymous]

Has she had a Behavior Intervention Plan by a BCBA?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If public is the only financial option and you're open to moving, I would start by looking at areas of the country known for strong special education programs, and then narrow in on large elementary schools, and then screen for supportive administration and willingness to write preferential teacher selection into her IEP. While it seems counter-intuitive, if you look for a school with 5+ classrooms per grade the odds that one of the teachers will be a fit for her is higher. From there you just need an administration that is willing to prioritize her placement with a good-fit teacher.

This is interesting. (I’m OP.) How do I figure out what the administration is really like before before we are in a school? I had heard wonderful things about our current school before we got here. Now that I’m here, I know the problems first hand and I also hear all the horror stories. I did lots of research beforehand and heard none of this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you have to re-define foryourself what your child’s needs are. She is not low support needs if she can’t sit in a chair, needs a lot of sensory and attention supports and explicit social emotional instruction, plus has outbursts. This sounds like moderate support needs at minimum. If your only choice is publics, you need to decide with her specialists whether she should be 1) mainstreamed in gen ed or 2) go to one of ASD specific programs (special ed). For 1) to happen, there needs to be a behavior modification program, otherwise it will keep getting worse. Hoping for unicorn teacher for every grade is not a good educational strategy. For 2) - check what APS offers, that may realistically be the best option for her at the moment.

Basically, you need to work on her functioning, one way or another, otherwise he academic giftedness will not be of any use to her long term.

This 100%. One of my children is autistic and I've been where you are. I think you need to reassess your child's support needs before you can identify what school can meet those needs. Your specific descriptions do not sound "low support needs."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has she had a Behavior Intervention Plan by a BCBA?

OP said she is refusing behavioral interventions…

She hasn’t explained why but this is a great question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If public is the only financial option and you're open to moving, I would start by looking at areas of the country known for strong special education programs, and then narrow in on large elementary schools, and then screen for supportive administration and willingness to write preferential teacher selection into her IEP. While it seems counter-intuitive, if you look for a school with 5+ classrooms per grade the odds that one of the teachers will be a fit for her is higher. From there you just need an administration that is willing to prioritize her placement with a good-fit teacher.

This is interesting. (I’m OP.) How do I figure out what the administration is really like before before we are in a school? I had heard wonderful things about our current school before we got here. Now that I’m here, I know the problems first hand and I also hear all the horror stories. I did lots of research beforehand and heard none of this!

Realistically, from being in the SN universe for several years - this will be the case for every school. You will not be able to create a "preschool for a 2nd grader" as you put it in your original post.

I say it with a lot of compassion, but triangulating administration is not something that will bring you the results you want. Focusing on the things you actually can control will be a far more effective use of time and resources: for example, working with specialists privately to determine what's an optimal setting for her and mapping out what interventions can improve her functioning. There are a lot of options out there, ABA, Play therapy, OT, EF coaches, etc. By focusing on finding a "kind" teacher and "nice" administration you are doing your child a disservice. It's not about them. Your other option is homeschooling, but that has its own challenges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has she had a Behavior Intervention Plan by a BCBA

This kid sounds PDA to me. Behavioral interventions don’t work for them. It tends to make things worse.

She’s also 7. 7 was our roughest age with our DD with similar profile. It got better when she turned 9.

This doesn’t help but just know that there is no perfect solution right now. Dont get too focused on it. You try where you can, adjust as you go. Starts with one teacher and doesn’t work, then request a classroom switch. Needs more support? Go through IEP process.

It’s one step at a time….

Get an advocate to advise you. They can help you navigate the process. It’s especially complex for kids with this profile that appear low needs but actually need a lot of support in a public school setting just to make it through the day. (Sensory issues etc)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has she had a Behavior Intervention Plan by a BCBA

This kid sounds PDA to me. Behavioral interventions don’t work for them. It tends to make things worse.

She’s also 7. 7 was our roughest age with our DD with similar profile. It got better when she turned 9.

This doesn’t help but just know that there is no perfect solution right now. Dont get too focused on it. You try where you can, adjust as you go. Starts with one teacher and doesn’t work, then request a classroom switch. Needs more support? Go through IEP process.

It’s one step at a time….

Get an advocate to advise you. They can help you navigate the process. It’s especially complex for kids with this profile that appear low needs but actually need a lot of support in a public school setting just to make it through the day. (Sensory issues etc)

You’re funny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rather than characterize all these teachers as bad or unkind, I’d encourage you to imagine your child in the context of 25 other children. Imagine that the 24 others also have specific needs, and you can understand why schools operate differently from preschools (usually one staff member for every 8 children) and home (usually one parent for every 1-3 children).

Sure, fine. Makes sense. But it’s not working, so that’s why I’m asking how I can find something else. And see the next comment for what I’m trying to get away from. “You need to teach your disabled child to not be disabled.”

Calm down lady. Teaching your child to sit in a chair and not yell in class is not teaching your disabled child not to be disabled. You have a chip on your shoulder. You have low expectations, your child is capable of more. I would bet money on it.

Troll alert. Ignore this person who clearly wants to rile everyone up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you have to re-define foryourself what your child’s needs are. She is not low support needs if she can’t sit in a chair, needs a lot of sensory and attention supports and explicit social emotional instruction, plus has outbursts. This sounds like moderate support needs at minimum. If your only choice is publics, you need to decide with her specialists whether she should be 1) mainstreamed in gen ed or 2) go to one of ASD specific programs (special ed). For 1) to happen, there needs to be a behavior modification program, otherwise it will keep getting worse. Hoping for unicorn teacher for every grade is not a good educational strategy. For 2) - check what APS offers, that may realistically be the best option for her at the moment.

Basically, you need to work on her functioning, one way or another, otherwise he academic giftedness will not be of any use to her long term.

I want to highlight this because you are getting a lot of good advice on other topics, and might miss the deep truth of this statement. Being 2E only "helps" when/if you can get the other pieces in place. I think a lot of parents believe the giftedness will "balance" the behavioral/sensory pieces, but it doesn't really. The giftedness will still be there in 18 months when you get the classroom behavior stuff under control, but that stuff will only get harder the longer it's not addressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rather than characterize all these teachers as bad or unkind, I’d encourage you to imagine your child in the context of 25 other children. Imagine that the 24 others also have specific needs, and you can understand why schools operate differently from preschools (usually one staff member for every 8 children) and home (usually one parent for every 1-3 children).

Sure, fine. Makes sense. But it’s not working, so that’s why I’m asking how I can find something else. And see the next comment for what I’m trying to get away from. “You need to teach your disabled child to not be disabled.”

Calm down lady. Teaching your child to sit in a chair and not yell in class is not teaching your disabled child not to be disabled. You have a chip on your shoulder. You have low expectations, your child is capable of more. I would bet money on it.

Troll alert. Ignore this person who clearly wants to rile everyone up.

Looks to me like the troll here is the OP. You haven’t realized that yet?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rather than characterize all these teachers as bad or unkind, I’d encourage you to imagine your child in the context of 25 other children. Imagine that the 24 others also have specific needs, and you can understand why schools operate differently from preschools (usually one staff member for every 8 children) and home (usually one parent for every 1-3 children).

Sure, fine. Makes sense. But it’s not working, so that’s why I’m asking how I can find something else. And see the next comment for what I’m trying to get away from. “You need to teach your disabled child to not be disabled.”

Calm down lady. Teaching your child to sit in a chair and not yell in class is not teaching your disabled child not to be disabled. You have a chip on your shoulder. You have low expectations, your child is capable of more. I would bet money on it.

Troll alert. Ignore this person who clearly wants to rile everyone up.

Looks to me like the troll here is the OP. You haven’t realized that yet?

The “You don’t need to teach your disabled child to not be disabled” poster shows up regularly. Definite troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the Trumps chose ST Andrews for this reason. (But note they didn’t accept my child when we applied at the same age in part I think because his public schooll teacher gave him such a bad review. ). At the end of the day we did okay in public school but working with admin so they understood the needs and tried to find a good personality fit for him with the teacher assignments. As far as the behavioral stuff you are probably at the hardest point right now. The social stuff will get harder in late elementary school and middle school though. And you might want to think about social skills classes prior to that.

Omg no
St Andrew’s has zero counselors for students with autism
It’s not a good place for academic success for students with autism
Trump chose it bec it was the only school that would take them

You don’t know Barron is autistic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop blaming the autism and create higher expectations for your child. Sounds like that’s what the teachers are trying to do but you’re getting in their way.

go away. man there are a lot of trolls here lately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop blaming the autism and create higher expectations for your child. Sounds like that’s what the teachers are trying to do but you’re getting in their way.

Are you a school administrator by any chance?

This has been the tone we get from school administrators who think 100% of everything is due to the euphemism for bad parenting “behavioral.”

Yes I AM 100% the cause of my child’s disabilities. On my vision board before my wedding I specifically put “many miscarriages”, have “kid with Genetic Issue“ and “Premature with restricted blood flow, 29 weeks or bust.” And I manifested it. The universe was listening! (Sarcasm)

So crazy, some stuff is medical. It’s beyond anyone’s control.

[Anonymous]

No school is like the one you dream of, OP.

The shoe is on the other foot. You need to steel yourself and prepare your daughter for navigating some rigid teaching styles and uniformly-applied discipline.

As another PP said, it doesn't sound as if your child is low-needs if she disrupts the classroom because she's unable to comply with rules. My low-needs ASD/ADHD son never had disciplinary issues, from K to 12.

Have you looked at autism programs in your public school system? MCPS has some good ones.