AP's of married men, what happens when the married husbands wife finds out and wants to work things out with their wife?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dumped me and went to therapy. Then apparently confessed…and then my spouse was notified. My spouse divorced me.

This is the usual outcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He ghosted the AP after the wife found out. AP got married five years later to an older widower. She is 43 and has not been able to get pregnant yet.

I remember you writing about this; this is your husband’s AP and you stalk her social media feeling smug about her marrying this older man and not having children. I think this says a whole lot about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He ghosted the AP after the wife found out. AP got married five years later to an older widower. She is 43 and has not been able to get pregnant yet.

I remember you writing about this; this is your husband’s AP and you stalk her social media feeling smug about her marrying this older man and not having children. I think this says a whole lot about you.

Where’s the original thread?

There are always many discussions of this topic. But it does seem there’s a betrayed wife losing what remains of her mind on this board posting and posting all the time.

[Anonymous]

Not if the 10M was mostly premarital assets. Plus he would be a dumb ass if he did not have a prenup.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not me but my friends:

Friend 1: Dumped her, wife told H, kicked out of house, moved to apartment, lost custody of kids (got visitation because kids didn't want to go to the apartment, ages 1 middle school, 1 HS, 1 college), met a new guy, got a degree in social work, saw kids once a week until they went to college, moved to FLA, see kids occasionally

Friend 2: Got fired (he was her boss), no contact for 2 years, started up again lasted 2 years, became a sex for money situation, felt dirty accepting money, lost the sparkle, went to intense therapy, H is a saint found out but kept her, doing well as a lawyer for another firm.

Friend 3: He begged his wife to stay with him, she said no, she got the "prize", they married 1 year after D-day, he had cancer but didn't tell her until after they were married, was okay for 1 year, was very sick for 7 years, died this year, left the house and all his money (~10M) to his only son who is in his 20's, she had to sell the house because she could not afford it and 1/2 was the son's, moved to a townhouse in Frederick. Her 2 adult sons don't speak to her.

Friend 4: got married to AP, has 2 wonderful kids and 1 step child from his 1st marriage who hates her, in and out of rehab.

This sounds fabricated about Friend 3 unless she signed an usual prenup. Spouses are entitled to a 30-50% elective share that they can pursue in court if they are not adequately provided for otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Someone is trying to get some intel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He ghosted the AP after the wife found out. AP got married five years later to an older widower. She is 43 and has not been able to get pregnant yet.

I remember you writing about this; this is your husband’s AP and you stalk her social media feeling smug about her marrying this older man and not having children. I think this says a whole lot about you.

What does it say about her? Is she supposed to wish the AP well? Just out of curiosity: Have you cheated? If so, it says everything about you thinking some sort of piety is required of someone who was betrayed, towards a person involved in hurting them.

She doesn't have to give a damn about the AP.

[Anonymous]

He dumped me and went no contact (for a while), AP & his wife are still married. My DH found out, we had some rough times, but are still married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not if the 10M was mostly premarital assets. Plus he would be a dumb ass if he did not have a prenup.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not me but my friends:

Friend 1: Dumped her, wife told H, kicked out of house, moved to apartment, lost custody of kids (got visitation because kids didn't want to go to the apartment, ages 1 middle school, 1 HS, 1 college), met a new guy, got a degree in social work, saw kids once a week until they went to college, moved to FLA, see kids occasionally

Friend 2: Got fired (he was her boss), no contact for 2 years, started up again lasted 2 years, became a sex for money situation, felt dirty accepting money, lost the sparkle, went to intense therapy, H is a saint found out but kept her, doing well as a lawyer for another firm.

Friend 3: He begged his wife to stay with him, she said no, she got the "prize", they married 1 year after D-day, he had cancer but didn't tell her until after they were married, was okay for 1 year, was very sick for 7 years, died this year, left the house and all his money (~10M) to his only son who is in his 20's, she had to sell the house because she could not afford it and 1/2 was the son's, moved to a townhouse in Frederick. Her 2 adult sons don't speak to her.

Friend 4: got married to AP, has 2 wonderful kids and 1 step child from his 1st marriage who hates her, in and out of rehab.

This sounds fabricated about Friend 3 unless she signed an usual prenup. Spouses are entitled to a 30-50% elective share that they can pursue in court if they are not adequately provided for otherwise.

There is no carveout for premarital assets for an elective share. The elective share is 30-50% of all assets. And many (most, idk I don't practice in this area) prenups do not include a waiver an elective share. If she took care of him for 7 years while he was dying of cancer, she should not have had a program appealing for an elective share.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, forgot to add consequences and repercussions: Heartache, pain, loss. Marriage is less than it was originally, but probably not less than where it was when I started affair. I'm sad my kids found out. It did help me heal over other issues spouse and I had. It gave me so much joy to find love and attraction - I love my husband, and our intellectual connection was good. And he's an attentive lover. But I had never experienced good physical chemistry before - wow.

Regret? Only that we got found out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dumped me and went to therapy. Then apparently confessed…and then my spouse was notified. My spouse divorced me.

This is the usual outcome.

For me, yes. Divorced and single at 53. In an apartment now. Kids grown. Job hunting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He ghosted the AP after the wife found out. AP got married five years later to an older widower. She is 43 and has not been able to get pregnant yet.

I remember you writing about this; this is your husband’s AP and you stalk her social media feeling smug about her marrying this older man and not having children. I think this says a whole lot about you.

The Venn diagram of people who look up people of interest on IG and people who post on DCUM is a single circle. You take the time to pat yourself on the back by typing up criticisms of strangers but you never peep a person's public IG? Sure, Jan.

I hope I've topped off your daily dose of schadenfreude and self-satisfaction. Must be a fun life.

[Anonymous]

He moved out of the marital home, his chance to finally break away. And yes, he eventually married the Ap. Almost like it was a relief for her to find out on his part. Oh well, he’s been married to ap for fifteen plus years.

[Anonymous]

He went to therapy himself, refused couples therapy with wife. She brought lingerie, planned romantic dates and weekends, etc. and he left her. She was and did get everything and he did not care. New life, new wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He ghosted the AP after the wife found out. AP got married five years later to an older widower. She is 43 and has not been able to get pregnant yet.

I remember you writing about this; this is your husband’s AP and you stalk her social media feeling smug about her marrying this older man and not having children. I think this says a whole lot about you.

The Venn diagram of people who look up people of interest on IG and people who post on DCUM is a single circle. You take the time to pat yourself on the back by typing up criticisms of strangers but you never peep a person's public IG? Sure, Jan.

I hope I've topped off your daily dose of schadenfreude and self-satisfaction. Must be a fun life.

TBH the psychological phenomenon I find interesting in all of this is the instinct to post public stuff and then get mad when people view it. "I want the whole world to see and like me! No, no, not YOU." It's like the person's vulnerability and feeling of exposure is battling with their need for approval. The idea that someone might view their public offerings and find them lacking strikes a deep nerve for these folks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He ghosted the AP after the wife found out. AP got married five years later to an older widower. She is 43 and has not been able to get pregnant yet.

I remember you writing about this; this is your husband’s AP and you stalk her social media feeling smug about her marrying this older man and not having children. I think this says a whole lot about you.

Where’s the original thread?

There are always many discussions of this topic. But it does seem there’s a betrayed wife losing what remains of her mind on this board posting and posting all the time.

Oh gosh I remember it was in response to someone else’s thread. Some of these “betrayed” women are nuts and you can see them all over this thread. When you point out they are acting nuts they claim you are a cheater too because they have

I remember that in this case the affair started when the AP was in her 30s and so betrayed wife was so happy that she won her prize (a husband who cheats on her) and the AP was “childless” and with this widower. I can’t remember if the AP even wanted children or if this was part of the PP’s crazy fever dream. And the irony of thinking that you “won” when the AP has clearly moved on from your loser husband and gets to live rent free in your head for the rest of your life.