Parent encouraging child to get drunk at home before college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dated a guy who did this with his teenaged daughter. He wanted her to learn her limits at home. Which may have some merit, but the problem was he was an alcoholic (in recovery), and the whole thing just felt like transference to me (he bought her the same kind of booze that he used to binge on).

soooo weird and inappropriate. my god.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't see myself doing this purposefully but I will say that my son got REALLY drunk near the end of sophomore year of high school (barfing in an Uber drunk) and he's really never had more than a beer since. He's often the (not even a sip) driver in his friend group.

(and lest you all say he's a loser--no, top student, headed to a top10 college this fall)

yep that’ll do it. I got puking drunk at quite a young age (12) and did not drink significantly again for another 10 yrs.

[Anonymous]

DS got pretty drunk his Jr year. It was a terrible for him. He didn’t drink before this event and didn’t realize how quickly it would hit him. He felt fine until he didn’t.
I am glad it happened before college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So stupid. I’m in my 40s and have never been drunk. It’s not some sort of requirement or inevitability, especially for a teenager with a developing brain.

I've also never been drunk. 47. Heck, I've never been buzzed, and drank more alcohol in HS than college.

[Anonymous]

Adult Child of an Alcoholic. My 3DC, all young adults, have never seen me drunk or tipsy and I consider that one of the greatest gifts I could give to them. I’ve been a strict teetotaler since I became a mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The dad has the right idea. You need to know your limit before you go to college.

No. College kids who enjoy partying and drinking don’t care what their supposed limit is. There will be the fraternity parties where no student is saying “no thanks, I’ve reached my limit, something my dad taught me”. And anyone thinking their “athlete” son is so health conscious that they don’t drink doesn’t know anything. Biggest drinkers on campus are students who play hockey, football, lacrosse, basketball, baseball. The stereotypes are not far off.

[Anonymous]

It’s fairly common for college-bound teenagers to have some experience drinking before they go off. I certainly wouldn’t want my child’s first experience at a fraternity party. Now if your child has zero inclination to drink, then that’s great, and maybe they will stay that way.

But most drink in college. I think dads who have sons are fairly concerned about this because boys will drink copious amounts. It’s scary to think of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So stupid. I’m in my 40s and have never been drunk. It’s not some sort of requirement or inevitability, especially for a teenager with a developing brain.

Ok Mary - you are an anomaly but not the norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s fairly common for college-bound teenagers to have some experience drinking before they go off. I certainly wouldn’t want my child’s first experience at a fraternity party. Now if your child has zero inclination to drink, then that’s great, and maybe they will stay that way.

But most drink in college. I think dads who have sons are fairly concerned about this because boys will drink copious amounts. It’s scary to think of.

Well moms are fairly concerned because their daughters could drink copious amounts AND get assaulted.

So give me a break

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The dad has the right idea. You need to know your limit before you go to college.

No. College kids who enjoy partying and drinking don’t care what their supposed limit is. There will be the fraternity parties where no student is saying “no thanks, I’ve reached my limit, something my dad taught me”. And anyone thinking their “athlete” son is so health conscious that they don’t drink doesn’t know anything. Biggest drinkers on campus are students who play hockey, football, lacrosse, basketball, baseball. The stereotypes are not far off.

I disagree with this. I faked drinking a lot more than I did because I didn’t want to lose control. I saw plenty of people do this and it was a lesson for sure. I nursed many drinks and was very in tune to keep any drink covered by my wrist.

So I wouldn’t say I’ve reached my limit to people but I faked enough while staying in full control and observant.

The only time I would drink hard was when I was with close friends at a house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We let our teen daughters have a little bit of alcohol at home when we're drinking, although they don't do it outside the home. I'd rather that they are exposed to it at home first and learn their limits when they are around us rather at some random college party.

“Your limits” vary depending on level of hydration, food consumption, strength of drink, timing of consumption, and many other factors. And “legally drunk” feels like “nothing.” By the time a person gets to I’ll be fine,” they’re typically way over the legal threshold.

Alcohol consumption legitimates consuming industrial solvent. Encouraging kids to drink for effect as a “learning experience” is asinine. There are cultures (the Latin countries come to mind) where wine is thought of as food. Even that can be dangerous, but at least there typically are cultural gunwales built in.

[Anonymous]

You really don’t feel your limit with hard alcohol or shots. It hits you hard after you feel fine. You don’t get buzzed like you do with weak beer or wine coolers.

[Anonymous]

Jesus Christ. No, the father is NOT onto something. He's an absolute moron with no moral compass. Would you be on board with him providing his son with a prostitute, assuming he was a virgin, so he could have sex for the first time under his supervision? I would hope not.

It is not appropriate for parents to have their kids do illegal things with them or do intimate adult things just so the parents can delude themselves that they're "preparing their kids for the real world." This is sick.

[Anonymous]

Totally reasonable for alcohol to be part of an older teenager's life in a family context (wine with dinner, etc.) even before 21. Very weird to intentionally get your kid drunk.

[Anonymous]

Dad is an idiot. That said, child is going to drink at college or not.