Parent encouraging child to get drunk at home before college

[Anonymous]

I just heard a story from a friend and curious what others think.

The father wanted his 17 yo to get drunk at home with him his senior year of high school. The father said he wanted him to feel the sensation for the first time in the safety of his home. So the father bought a bunch hard seltzers and the son drank four of them and then the father had him play video games so the son could experience how impaired he was.

At first I thought this was bonkers, but maybe he’s on to something.

[Anonymous]

Gross. Americans are so f’in weird about alcohol. I can understand the concept that kids should get exposed to alcohol in a safe way (not sure if it works or not) but why not have it be NORMAL, like one beer for a 17 year old at a cookout? So the kid can see what responsible and normal alcohol consumption looks like.

[Anonymous]

So stupid. I’m in my 40s and have never been drunk. It’s not some sort of requirement or inevitability, especially for a teenager with a developing brain.

[Anonymous]

My sister maintained it was important to know if your son was an angry drunk- she has 3 young adults. Lmaof

My rising college freshmen doesn’t drink. He’s an athlete and very much concerned about what he puts in his body, incredibly healthy eater. He, as of now, has zero desire for alcohol. He drives friends on the weekends. I have no idea whether he’s ever tried alcohol.

We have never offered it to your sons (also have a 16-year old). Husband’s father died from alcoholism.

We both drink, though I really don’t as much now that I’m in my 50s. But, I was a huge drinker in college/20s. Big college partier. I do think most that were like me (male and female) came out with some idea that alcohol is needed for fun. A lot of my generation are big drinkers.

I actually don’t want my kids to be this way. My son didn’t want a big party school. He’s going to a 7k size. There will be parties and drinking but hoping it’s less all-consuming of the culture.

[Anonymous]

One of my friends did that with both her kids (a daughter and a son). She sat down with them and a bottle of wine or beer (can't remember which), and they drank and talked. They took it slowly, and she asked them to identify how they were feeling. I think they stopped when the kids started feeling buzzed. She said they went into college knowing what their limits are in the number of drinks they can handle, and what it feels like to be on the verge of getting drunk.

[Anonymous]

I dated a guy who did this with his teenaged daughter. He wanted her to learn her limits at home. Which may have some merit, but the problem was he was an alcoholic (in recovery), and the whole thing just felt like transference to me (he bought her the same kind of booze that he used to binge on).

[Anonymous]

We did this with my daughter, but she was 18 and we were on Spring Break in a country where it was legal to drink. She wanted to be in a safe space just in case. She also tried a few different liquors to see what kind of reaction she has. She didn't get stupid drunk, just silly drunk. She also decided that she didn't like the taste of beer.

[Anonymous]

My parents did this with me and my brother. But they also had lax alcohol rules for us in HS. They didn't care if we drank, just to call them for a ride.

It worked for one kid (me) but not the other (brother, who is an alcoholic).

Luckily, my kids growing up seeing the struggles of their alcoholic uncle has so far turned them off alcohol. My oldest will turn 22 soon and sometimes has a glass of wine with dinner. She's not a fan or beer or liquor. My next oldest is 20 and is my big rule follower. She wants to try an espresso martini when she turns 21 because her favorite shows are the Below Deck shows and apparently that's the drink the guests and crew are always ordering on there.

My oldest son is 19 and a T1D. He drank some this past first year at college, but he found that each time he had more than 1 beer, his sugar was thrown so out of whack that it made him feel terrible and took most of the next day to correct.

[Anonymous]

The dad has the right idea. You need to know your limit before you go to college.

[Anonymous]

I remember chain smoking dads forcing their pre teen kids - usually boys- to try to chain smoke cigs (enough to make them sick) so as to prove that it was a disgusting habit to avoid.

Gen Xer and everyone’s dad smoked BITD.

[Anonymous]

I can't see myself doing this purposefully but I will say that my son got REALLY drunk near the end of sophomore year of high school (barfing in an Uber drunk) and he's really never had more than a beer since. He's often the (not even a sip) driver in his friend group.

(and lest you all say he's a loser--no, top student, headed to a top10 college this fall)

[Anonymous]

We let our teen daughters have a little bit of alcohol at home when we're drinking, although they don't do it outside the home. I'd rather that they are exposed to it at home first and learn their limits when they are around us rather at some random college party.

[Anonymous]

It's a controlled experiment that I would never do, because I already know my kids have inherited my partial lack of alcohol dehydrogenase, and cannot drink unless they want to be sick and go to the hospital. More importantly, my kids understand this. I've offered them sips of wine and champagne over the years, and they've always hated it. No one in my family or their father's family can drink more than half a glass of wine.

We're Asian. If your kids are Asian, you might want to tell them that this lack of enzyme is very common in Asian populations.

[Anonymous]

I probably won’t do this but it seems like a perfectly reasonable idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of my friends did that with both her kids (a daughter and a son). She sat down with them and a bottle of wine or beer (can't remember which), and they drank and talked. They took it slowly, and she asked them to identify how they were feeling. I think they stopped when the kids started feeling buzzed. She said they went into college knowing what their limits are in the number of drinks they can handle, and what it feels like to be on the verge of getting drunk.

So weird. Sitting and drinking with your mom has zero to do with the actual way people drink. Also stopping when they felt “buzzed” isn’t knowing their limits. The message of that lesson would seem to be “drinking with my mom is weird.”