Do I just need to go off social media for a year??

[Anonymous]

Do what's right for your mental health. The year ahead is going to be insanity. If your kid doesn't do or land ED, (mine chose not to do ED), the roller coaster of emotions goes from Sept - early April.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My oldest is a rising Senior and some of their classmates have started to post their (VERY) impressive commitments to elite colleges for athletics. I know it's only going to get worse over the next couple of months as the non-athletes start getting acceptances as well.

The smart and rational half of my brain wants to be happy for these kids and to just focus on helping my kid get into a school that is the right school for THEM - academically, socially, etc. - but it's fighting with the jealous, petty, competitive side of my brain.

I really don't want the bad half of my brain to be driving the train for the next six months. It will make our whole family miserable and probably give my kid a complex. I don't want to be coming to my husband with anxiety and worry about this, as he is a WONDERFUL and grounded human and the least tiger parent of them all. Despite having gone to an Ivy for undergrad.

How do you all manage this?

Social media is toxic so good for you. As far as competition, just know that everyone's life trajectory is different and its not a competition unless you make it so. Instead of making it worse, be the calming source for your child during this stressful time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do what's right for your mental health. The year ahead is going to be insanity. If your kid doesn't do or land ED, (mine chose not to do ED), the roller coaster of emotions goes from Sept - early April.

This past year elite waitlists were still moving in July. If you do an early rolling school in August, that’s a full 12 months. Brace yourself for a marathon.

[Anonymous]

It was really heartbreaking when a family member was hearing about college acceptances, when she was researching drug treatment centers for her son.

Do you have any perspective on the long game? I have so many highly educated neighbors with dysfunctional personal lives.

Do what you need to do.

[Anonymous]

I’m happy for those kids as I hope they would be happy for my son. He will find a school that’s right for him and I don’t care if it is prestigious. I’m 49 and I stopped caring about what people think of me sometime in my 20s.

[Anonymous]

Going off social media is always the right answer unless you are literally a social media influencer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK I'm not on sm (except here) so help me out. You are following your KID's friends? That's weird. Does anyone think that's weird? If I did social media it would be to look at dogs or food trucks.

No, I'm friends with parents posting about their kids. Lord, I don't follow teenagers on social media.

[Anonymous]

Another reason to be glad I’ve never been on instagram, I guess.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Get off social media. If it's making you feel bad, then you need to get away from it. Ignore, ignore, ignore!

[Anonymous]

I don’t do social media because of this. And I kinda went quiet for a year when my oldest went through this process last year. It was brutal. I was genuinely happy for the kids but the parents were so, so annoying. And it was the other parents that gossiped so much about where kids were going and that they weren’t as smart as their kid. It was beyond ridiculous. In the end, everything will be okay. These are first world problems. Keep your chin up and know that good things come to those who wait.

[Anonymous]

Block social media.

Block this forum.

Get the 10 percent happier app. Do at least one longer meditation every day. In addition, every time you feel the college-anxiety/comparison itch, do one of the super-short meditations (e.g. “10 breaths”).

Remember that the whole process is amazing quality time with your kid — do your best to enjoy it. If you *aren’t* enjoying it, start one of those cheesy gratitude journals — fill it with moments from college visits, people who are helpful to your kid throughout the process, tiny victories, specific things you’re proud of your kid for, etc. It’s absolutely cheesy…but it actually really helps.

Good luck! In the end, this is all a blip.

[Anonymous]

You are immature and need help. Stay off sm

[Anonymous]

Do what you need to do.

Non-athletes generally won't have acceptances to elite schools until December.

[Anonymous]

I’m not on instagram, but my kid will tell me where so-and-so got in. We are not aiming for elite schools so there’s not competition with those students. It allows us to feel happy for them, even if my kid is a stronger student academically.

[Anonymous]

It’s hard, the process isn’t fair, you know that going in but just somehow want to believe your kid will be exception. Someone told me at the end you’ll say “it just doesn’t make sense” and that’s how it felt. Mine is off to Ivy and did well overall so not sour grapes, but still some are hard to make sense of. My kid kept quiet which didn’t really work as just added intrigue. I definitely stayed quiet, find it’s an annoying topic, so many misguided thinking top schools are stats driven and being so clueless on holistic review and institutional priorities.