Life is so hard, what's the point

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry you're dealing with such a lot! My husband is also very ill and there are days where I wonder what the point of all this is. The heartbreak of watching someone you care about be sick can be soul sucking. My kids provide me with a lot of hope.

I wish I had some real advice for you, but maybe it helps to know that you're not alone? I do know that there are so many little moments within these hard days that add a few rays of sunshine to life. I try to focus on those. I hope you get some rays of sunshine each day. All the best to you and your family.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry OP. You are going through an extraordinary hard time and not sure many of us can really know what that is like.

In many ways, life is defined by suffering. Look to the fact that every single religion tries to address this. Whether we have a perfect life or one marked by devastation, we all end up at the same place, our death bed. I think those who have led perfectly sheltered lives can sometimes have a harder realization when things go wrong or when the end is near but those who know suffering can often see through the ephemeral better and focus on what is most important in life.

I would gently suggest looking into mindfulness practice and detachment. Buddhism has a heavy emphasis on these topics but so does your Catholicism. If you want to look into your own tradition, I would suggest looking into st. Therese of lisieux. Her way of writing can be a bit much but her message to do little things with great love, is an important one. To get through life you have to find meaning in the every day small things, to do small things well and with love. Mindfulness and religious practice will help get you there. Nothing else matters because none of it lasts anyways.

Good luck OP and I pray that things get better for you!

[Anonymous]

I thought I was dealing with alot but you've got me beat.

I don't think too many of us here are going through what you are.

I've been having the same thoughts as you but I am going through way less. This probably doesn't bring you much comfort but please know that you are not alone in these thoughts...

I don't have any friends or family to help me through hard times. I've been relying on myself since I was 14 and here's what works for me:

PRAY TO MY LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST

Listen to worship songs

Listen to guided prayers on youtube

take hot baths with herbal remedies added to the water

listen to healing music..classical, tribal, violin, cello, flute

get out into nature...hiking camping, boating on the lake

get massages

meditate

lay or sit in a dark room and just focus on my breathing

and eat good food

I'm so sorry that you are being burdened with so much all at once.

I will lift you and your family up into my prayers from this day onward.

Sending my love, hugs, and healing vibes your way.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry this has all happened to your family. You need to take good care of yourself so you are not next to go down. You sound depressed and rightly so. Please visit your doctor and get some sort of prescription for that. Visit a church to go and pray even if you don't attend services. Take good care of your body, eat nutritious foods, take time to exercise. Do you have an enjoyable hobby you can make time for? Listen to upbeat music and old comedy shows on tv. Sending prayers.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am praying for you and your family. You’ve been dealt a tough hand. You mentioned being raised Catholic. If you can find a few minutes for yourself, I really recommend stopping by a church and resting there for a bit. I hope you find peace.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm sorry to hear all this and hope things turn up for you soon.

Since you mentioned having been raised Catholic, would you consider going to Adoration? As a practicing Catholic myself, I've found the holy hour to be wonderfully healing and meditative. I've been able to find solace, relief from stress/anger, and answers to my tough questions through sitting and contemplating the Eucharist in silence, sometimes more so than through prayer or regularly attending Mass. Evenings are my favorite time to go, when it's dark or sunset outside and the church is lit by candles.

[Anonymous]

My two cents—by posting this, you have already taken the most important and most profound step on the spiritual journey. Each tradition has its articulation of it. Probably the easiest to grasp is the 12 Step Tradition. Step 1: We admitted that we were powerless over [fill in the blank] and that our lives had become unmanageable. Before we can learn, we have to admit that we don’t know. Before we can be resurrected we have to be crucified.

https://catholic-daily-reflections.com/2024/07/25/bearing-good-fruit-one-hundredfold-3/

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry OP - life is so unfair and, as a practicing Catholic myself, I do not understand why God throws so MUCH at certain people. I said a prayer that you will feel supernatural peace and comfort this evening.

Is talking to a counsellor or therapist an option for you? Even just someone to listen and help you talk through your thoughts and feelings.

I have not dealt with anything of your scale, and I do not at all suggest that if you 'think positive' or 'be grateful' you'll feel all better. But I struggle with depression and I've found that practicing gratitude, even in the small things, helps me refocus a bit. Being thankful for a beautiful morning, a nice walk, an unexpected text from friend.

Sending you hugs.

[Anonymous]

That's a lot to deal with. Even though you are struggling, know that just being there for your family is very supportive and what your family needs. Hopefully some of these health conditions will improve with time, even if it's just coming to terms with the limitations and getting used to a new normal. A lot of people have disabilities or health conditions and still manage to live fulfilling lives. Caregiving is hard and you need to make sure you don't burn out from it. It's okay to take a break or have someone else take over from time to time for your own sanity, even if it feels a little selfish. You can only really focus on what you have control over. And it doesn't really do any good to worry about the future. We can only live in the present moment. Just take things one day at a time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anti anxiety medication and meditation.

She doesn't need medication!!! There is not a normal person in this world that wouldn't feel like OP, given the same experience. OP, this is just serious bad luck and like everything, it will pass.

Sleep
Exercise
Eat well.

It won't cure anything but will make everything just a bit easier to handle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I need life advice on how to keep a positive outlook when life keeps throwing terrible situations my way. I do not have any thoughts of self harm, but I'm so despondent. It's making me wonder what the point of life is.

In short, every person in my family has had some random (not genetic) serious, life changing issue in the last four years. My youngest developed a rare, painful eye disease, and lost sight in one eye. My middle son has severe mental health issues, with inpatient stays. My oldest was in a severe automobile accident, crushing the left side of his body, resulting in multiple surgeries, rods, metal plates. My husband has a lifelong disease, was put in a coma, has had four major surgeries, and is fully, permanently disabled, unable to work. My mom was diagnosed with an incurable disease, she will be in chronic pain for the remainder of her life. She's in and out of hospitals.  

I could go on, but that's just my immediate family. I am healthy, thankfully. But now I'm back in the cycle of hospital-stop by home-work-hospital. I'm the glue and I'm so so tired. I have a good career and keep all of this from affecting my work, as it's all I have to catch a mental break. 

I have family support (not locally, but they've offered to come out), and they are as shocked as I am by how life has turned out for us. 

I know many find solace in religion. I grew up Catholic, but haven't practiced in years. At this rate I'm praying to anyone and everyone. I'm manifesting and anything else I can do to keep my spirits up. But the truth is I am so so broken. 

Please give me some solace. I don't know what else to do. I'm just taking my tasks in 30 minute increments, and trying hard not to sink.

Why did you marry someone with a lifelong disease and expect to have healthy children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I need life advice on how to keep a positive outlook when life keeps throwing terrible situations my way. I do not have any thoughts of self harm, but I'm so despondent. It's making me wonder what the point of life is.

In short, every person in my family has had some random (not genetic) serious, life changing issue in the last four years. My youngest developed a rare, painful eye disease, and lost sight in one eye. My middle son has severe mental health issues, with inpatient stays. My oldest was in a severe automobile accident, crushing the left side of his body, resulting in multiple surgeries, rods, metal plates. My husband has a lifelong disease, was put in a coma, has had four major surgeries, and is fully, permanently disabled, unable to work. My mom was diagnosed with an incurable disease, she will be in chronic pain for the remainder of her life. She's in and out of hospitals.  

I could go on, but that's just my immediate family. I am healthy, thankfully. But now I'm back in the cycle of hospital-stop by home-work-hospital. I'm the glue and I'm so so tired. I have a good career and keep all of this from affecting my work, as it's all I have to catch a mental break. 

I have family support (not locally, but they've offered to come out), and they are as shocked as I am by how life has turned out for us. 

I know many find solace in religion. I grew up Catholic, but haven't practiced in years. At this rate I'm praying to anyone and everyone. I'm manifesting and anything else I can do to keep my spirits up. But the truth is I am so so broken. 

Please give me some solace. I don't know what else to do. I'm just taking my tasks in 30 minute increments, and trying hard not to sink.

Why did you marry someone with a lifelong disease and expect to have healthy children.

I hope you are a troll. Bc if you actually think like that, I feel so sorry for you and those around you. Yikes.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm so sorry you are going through all this. Like a PP, I have had a hell of a year, but not as rough as yours.

To get relief, I think you have to hit it from all sides. So yes, seek faith, get sleep, exercise, eat well, do something you enjoy doing, get medication if needed, talk to a therapist, walk through nature, pet your dog. Any angle you can think of, use it. You are investing in a diverse portfolio of resources that will help you through this.

That said....In particular, I'm mentioning a therapist because it is so helpful to have 1 hour to focus on yourself, AND, have that trained person focused on you and no one else for that hour. Everyone else in your life has their own agenda, and even if thinking of you, they are still in the mix. You might have to go through a few to find the right one. For me, I needed a matriarch. (I didn't figure that out until I was with a very good therapist who was just too young for me to relate to. It's a very personal thing, like dating)

Good luck, OP! I hope this helps. Love to you.