Is the phrase “fresh off the boat” offensive in all circumstances?

[Anonymous]

OP here. I guess I’ll just stop saying it altogether to be on the safe side, but i am sad! I love English and I am constantly learning and am secretly proud that I know so many set phrases and phrasal verbs and can be so eloquent and smooth lol

[Anonymous]

Don't say it to a stranger. In private say whatever you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People are too sensitive. Sticks and stones

+1

You are fine, OP.

[Anonymous]

Do you have an accent, OP? Sometimes it is weird and funny to hear people speak accented English and use colloquialisms. Maybe she just found it strange.

[Anonymous]

Only appropriate for sea food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only appropriate for sea food.

Ha truth!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People are too sensitive. Sticks and stones

Seriously. I don’t see the problem. My mother immigrated here, literally on a boat. Why would it be offensive?

[Anonymous]

When I was at Harvard in the early/mid 2000s, there was a group of Asian-American friends on my floor, and they used the term "FOB" regularly, said in a joking tone that was also disparaging, to describe Asian students who had accents or were awkward/poorly dressed. (I'm white and never used that term myself). Asian-Americans are the only people I've ever heard using that term.

My great-grandparents were "fresh off the boat" from Eastern Europe. As a white person, I would not ever use that term to describe anyone, though, because the way I saw the term used in college was as an insult toward people who don't fit in with superficial standards (fashion, accent) that aren't their fault. It wasn't a neutral description.

[Anonymous]

Second generation use it the most with Indian immigrants. I have noticed first and second generation Indians seem to treat each other the worst. It’s such a shame. I know other immigrants that never use it and haven’t heard of it. I didn’t know what ABCD was until this forum. American born confused desi. So offensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was at Harvard in the early/mid 2000s, there was a group of Asian-American friends on my floor, and they used the term "FOB" regularly, said in a joking tone that was also disparaging, to describe Asian students who had accents or were awkward/poorly dressed. (I'm white and never used that term myself). Asian-Americans are the only people I've ever heard using that term.

My great-grandparents were "fresh off the boat" from Eastern Europe. As a white person, I would not ever use that term to describe anyone, though, because the way I saw the term used in college was as an insult toward people who don't fit in with superficial standards (fashion, accent) that aren't their fault. It wasn't a neutral description.

Yep noticed this too. My spouse is from Bangladesh and I don’t think it’s the norm with American Bangladeshis thank goodness. Definitely not the norm with white Americans in college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was at Harvard in the early/mid 2000s, there was a group of Asian-American friends on my floor, and they used the term "FOB" regularly, said in a joking tone that was also disparaging, to describe Asian students who had accents or were awkward/poorly dressed. (I'm white and never used that term myself). Asian-Americans are the only people I've ever heard using that term.

My great-grandparents were "fresh off the boat" from Eastern Europe. As a white person, I would not ever use that term to describe anyone, though, because the way I saw the term used in college was as an insult toward people who don't fit in with superficial standards (fashion, accent) that aren't their fault. It wasn't a neutral description.

Also know a few ABC (American born Chinese) who used it for the FOB older relatives - similar to how we use boomer today. With frustrated love or loving frustration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am fifty-five & Asian.

Growing up, I heard that term (especially in my teenage yrs!) as derogatory toward people of color so just to hear that phrase now, no matter who it is directed to…..just stings + brings back bad memories. 🤨

Though I realize this is only my personal experience.

Grow a thicker skin and get over rude things people say.

DP. You need to STFU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was at Harvard in the early/mid 2000s, there was a group of Asian-American friends on my floor, and they used the term "FOB" regularly, said in a joking tone that was also disparaging, to describe Asian students who had accents or were awkward/poorly dressed. (I'm white and never used that term myself). Asian-Americans are the only people I've ever heard using that term.

My great-grandparents were "fresh off the boat" from Eastern Europe. As a white person, I would not ever use that term to describe anyone, though, because the way I saw the term used in college was as an insult toward people who don't fit in with superficial standards (fashion, accent) that aren't their fault. It wasn't a neutral description.

Also know a few ABC (American born Chinese) who used it for the FOB older relatives - similar to how we use boomer today. With frustrated love or loving frustration.

This is how I’d always heard it — friends talking about relatives—so didn’t realize it was used as a slur or offensively. More like “give them a little grace — they just got here and don’t know the local norms yet.” It’s a little unusual because most slurs are developed by people outside the group (usually white peoole) and then maybe get adopted by the people in the group to reclaim power. But this seems like it was developed by people in the group and used both in a derogatory way and in a not derogatory way.

[Anonymous]

FOB is one of those words that is NBD and used commonly around in certain circles (eg 1st & 2nd gen asians) to each other, but it will sound a bit offensive if it comes from someone outside of their circle, esp if that person is white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I guess I’ll just stop saying it altogether to be on the safe side, but i am sad! I love English and I am constantly learning and am secretly proud that I know so many set phrases and phrasal verbs and can be so eloquent and smooth lol

❤️❤️❤️
You are in good company here on DCUM. Please start any threads you like on language, expressions, idioms.

We can debate which ones sound off, old-fashioned, nerdy MBA speak, better versions, etc. I live for that.