Spin-off: Does having a spouse / partner that is physically fit give you a sense of superiority?

[Anonymous]

Well naturally. We pride ourselves on being a fit, healthy couple.

[Anonymous]

This is a board for adults, right? This is what you aspired to be? This is what gets you up in the morning (in whatever way you choose to interpret that expression)? This question and its derivatives. Really?

I knew people in DC were shallow, which is saying a lot as someone from CA, but... yikes, y'all. If your partner's appearance gives you a sense of superiority, you must have painfully low self-esteem to begin with, and zero-to-no other potentially redeeming qualities. Please wear a sign.

Maybe try being more than a fleshbag, and caring more about your partner than just what their fleshbag looks like?

[Anonymous]

I am glad my husband doesn’t have a gut, like many men in their forties (and beyond), but I love him because he’s my HUSBAND.

[Anonymous]

My husband has aged well and looks good. But no, I don't feel superior.

[Anonymous]

No, I don’t feel superior at all, but I am crazy about her and thats definitely one of the things that keeps me interested. I feel very fortunate but I’m not the kind of person who looks down my nose or judges other people.

[Anonymous]

No. Not at all.

But but I do like not having to worry about his health at all. My health is a mess. He's 66 and very athletic and has never even been on a medication.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No I feel shamed like a blubbery fat slob with loose skin and cellulite and dowager hump. Thanks for asking.

I feel similarly. DH regularly gets comments about how fit he is and I swear people look at us together and think "hmm, how did this happen?"

But he loves me and that's what matters. Well, my health matters too but I'm managing my chronic illnesses the best I can.

He has a side piece

No, that's your spouse. DP

[Anonymous]

I honestly do not think that much about the relative physical attractiveness of middle aged men, though I'm married to one. I'm attracted to my husband and if I think about it objectively I think he looks pretty good. But my attraction to him is a about a lot more than his looks and to some degree they are beside the point-- our emotional connection and shared history is WAY more important.

And for that reason I can't imagine caring what someone else's husband looks like. He could be an Adonis but dud he good my hand while I gave birth or show up for me emotionally when I lost my job? Did he weather Covid with me and our very young kids? Has he seen me at my very worst and stick with me or seen the very best if me that is invisible to others (the way I show up for him and the kids at 2am or in small private moments that no one else sees). If not, WHO CARES.

I'd take my DH over Channing Tatum or Brad Pitt or the hot dad down the street every day if the week and twice on Sundays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spin-off on this post: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1217852.page

My partner is very thin and wirey. I had one woman say to me “tell him to eat a burger.” But he’s athletic and high energy. I think he looks great. We’re in our 40s and dad bod is not attractive to me. I don’t feel superior though, it’s just about what I find attractive.

My DH is also thin/wirey. He’s 6’ and all muscle. It’s his build, and semi healthy habits. As a kid was just a stick. People have definitely made “eat a burger” type comments to me; it’s annoying.

I don’t feel superior at all. If anything, it has made me hyperaware that we are aging differently and he truly looks much better than I do. We are both 55, and it seems like time & age are being kinder to him than me. Menopause and a health struggle have kicked my ass over the past year or so, and the combo have really aged me fast. Ugh, sorry … woe is me, I guess.

[Anonymous]

My husband has always been very athletic and at 45 he still has a very hard body. I don’t have a sense of superiority but definitely one of appreciation compared to most guys his age who have or are developing big guts. When he steps out of the shower my mind wanders.

[Anonymous]

I don't feel a sense of superiority. I am thankful that my husband looks better than he did when I married him though. He started working out during COVID and is in the best shape of his life. I appreciate it. I have aging parents who have not kept up their bodies and it is hard on their relationship (caregiving) and hard on my siblings and me. I am thankful that my husband is doing things now to take care of body and I hope this lowers the risk of health issues as he ages. I am also doing the same. It's a gift to each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hell yeah. When I see other dudes with fat wives, I feel superior because my woman has large, full breasts with taut nipples, a tiny waist and a bubble butt and I get to tap that nightly.

You are assuming fat women can't be sexy.

Snort