Boyfriend liking bikini pics of other women on Instagram?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you’re not alone but don’t try to be a “cool girl” who pretends this blatant disrespect is okay. If he likes looking at his friends in bikinis, that’s fine if and only if he keeps ALL thoughts and praise in his own head.

I’m a middle aged fuddy duddy of a woman (happily married for almost 20 years FWIW) but I simply cannot understand why so many young women in their prime seem to be okay with losers essentially humiliating them in public. There are LOTS of potential boyfriends out there, OP. You don’t need to settle for this garbage.

I called him and called him out about it and he said he'll go through and unlike all the pics and that theyre just girls he's friends with. The thing is I've mentioned it before and then he does it again. He always tells me I'm the love of his life, his soulmate, that he cant imagine life with anyone else... but whenever he does this it makes me think it's all BS. I go back and forth between thinking I should leave and then thinking I'm overreacting. As far as I know he's never cheated but I get so fed up with this scenario. I do believe he really loves me but when he does it makes me think he's a horndog with no self control and it's a matter of time before some woman hits on him in a bar and he cheats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let’s not think about red flags. Let’s think about the kind of behavior you prefer and deserve. My husband holds me in my arms and says “it’s not fair, why are you the only woman worth looking at?” If he was liking women on Instagram, would he say that to me with a straight face?

OP here. I dont know, my boyfriend says that kind of thing to me all the time but he still goes through and likes bikini pics of girls he knows on Instagram (not so much instagram models but women he knows). He says theyre just friends, but I really dont like it. To me it makes me think he's fishing around to try to cheat, or at least get attention from women.

The difference between my DH and your bf is that your bf is lying to you. Stop being a loser and demand more from your relationships.

+1 I actually think THAT is a red flag, and I would tell my boyfriend to quit with the fake BS crap. Everyone finds other people attractive; there is nothing wrong with that.

OP, I have an acquaintance that I know through a good friend of mine. Her husband "likes" all of those models' tiny bikinis, barely any clothing types on IG. Based on what I know from my friend and what I know from being around the acquaintance and her dh, they have a healthy happy relationship and they've been married 15 years. Personally, I'd find that embarrassing, and on at least one occasion, a couple of people in the friend group mentioned it (behind her back) and said they would hate if their dh did that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you’re not alone but don’t try to be a “cool girl” who pretends this blatant disrespect is okay. If he likes looking at his friends in bikinis, that’s fine if and only if he keeps ALL thoughts and praise in his own head.

I’m a middle aged fuddy duddy of a woman (happily married for almost 20 years FWIW) but I simply cannot understand why so many young women in their prime seem to be okay with losers essentially humiliating them in public. There are LOTS of potential boyfriends out there, OP. You don’t need to settle for this garbage.

I called him and called him out about it and he said he'll go through and unlike all the pics and that theyre just girls he's friends with. The thing is I've mentioned it before and then he does it again. He always tells me I'm the love of his life, his soulmate, that he cant imagine life with anyone else... but whenever he does this it makes me think it's all BS. I go back and forth between thinking I should leave and then thinking I'm overreacting. As far as I know he's never cheated but I get so fed up with this scenario. I do believe he really loves me but when he does it makes me think he's a horndog with no self control and it's a matter of time before some woman hits on him in a bar and he cheats.

For me that would make it worse. I don't want my boyfriend liking overly sexy pictures of his female friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let’s not think about red flags. Let’s think about the kind of behavior you prefer and deserve. My husband holds me in my arms and says “it’s not fair, why are you the only woman worth looking at?” If he was liking women on Instagram, would he say that to me with a straight face?

OP here. I dont know, my boyfriend says that kind of thing to me all the time but he still goes through and likes bikini pics of girls he knows on Instagram (not so much instagram models but women he knows). He says theyre just friends, but I really dont like it. To me it makes me think he's fishing around to try to cheat, or at least get attention from women.

The difference between my DH and your bf is that your bf is lying to you. Stop being a loser and demand more from your relationships.

+1 I actually think THAT is a red flag, and I would tell my boyfriend to quit with the fake BS crap. Everyone finds other people attractive; there is nothing wrong with that.

OP, I have an acquaintance that I know through a good friend of mine. Her husband "likes" all of those models' tiny bikinis, barely any clothing types on IG. Based on what I know from my friend and what I know from being around the acquaintance and her dh, they have a healthy happy relationship and they've been married 15 years. Personally, I'd find that embarrassing, and on at least one occasion, a couple of people in the friend group mentioned it (behind her back) and said they would hate if their dh did that.

To clarify, these are not instagram models or porn accounts. That would be a total dealbreaker for me. He follows these women and they follow him back. He has a lot of friends and was very popular with women before he met me and we became exclusive. He's very attractive, which is one of the things that worries me. I think he puts out the vibe that he's open to them whenever he likes their pics. I know for sure how much he cares about me, but I also think he has a very high sex drive and I worry it's just a matter of time tbh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you’re not alone but don’t try to be a “cool girl” who pretends this blatant disrespect is okay. If he likes looking at his friends in bikinis, that’s fine if and only if he keeps ALL thoughts and praise in his own head.

I’m a middle aged fuddy duddy of a woman (happily married for almost 20 years FWIW) but I simply cannot understand why so many young women in their prime seem to be okay with losers essentially humiliating them in public. There are LOTS of potential boyfriends out there, OP. You don’t need to settle for this garbage.

I called him and called him out about it and he said he'll go through and unlike all the pics and that theyre just girls he's friends with. The thing is I've mentioned it before and then he does it again. He always tells me I'm the love of his life, his soulmate, that he cant imagine life with anyone else... but whenever he does this it makes me think it's all BS. I go back and forth between thinking I should leave and then thinking I'm overreacting. As far as I know he's never cheated but I get so fed up with this scenario. I do believe he really loves me but when he does it makes me think he's a horndog with no self control and it's a matter of time before some woman hits on him in a bar and he cheats.

For me that would make it worse. I don't want my boyfriend liking overly sexy pictures of his female friends.

OP here. Yeah. Because the girls are an actual possibility in terms of an affair. That's what makes me nervous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you’re not alone but don’t try to be a “cool girl” who pretends this blatant disrespect is okay. If he likes looking at his friends in bikinis, that’s fine if and only if he keeps ALL thoughts and praise in his own head.

I’m a middle aged fuddy duddy of a woman (happily married for almost 20 years FWIW) but I simply cannot understand why so many young women in their prime seem to be okay with losers essentially humiliating them in public. There are LOTS of potential boyfriends out there, OP. You don’t need to settle for this garbage.

Yep. I'm in this camp. It's public disrespect. If he's aware of your feelings and respects you, he simply doesn't press "like". Can't imagine my DH doing this but could care less if he see's the pics and has a fleeting thought of "that women is hot". It's the action he does or does not take that matters.

[Anonymous]

Well, who are the women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you’re not alone but don’t try to be a “cool girl” who pretends this blatant disrespect is okay. If he likes looking at his friends in bikinis, that’s fine if and only if he keeps ALL thoughts and praise in his own head.

I’m a middle aged fuddy duddy of a woman (happily married for almost 20 years FWIW) but I simply cannot understand why so many young women in their prime seem to be okay with losers essentially humiliating them in public. There are LOTS of potential boyfriends out there, OP. You don’t need to settle for this garbage.

I called him and called him out about it and he said he'll go through and unlike all the pics and that theyre just girls he's friends with. The thing is I've mentioned it before and then he does it again. He always tells me I'm the love of his life, his soulmate, that he cant imagine life with anyone else... but whenever he does this it makes me think it's all BS. I go back and forth between thinking I should leave and then thinking I'm overreacting. As far as I know he's never cheated but I get so fed up with this scenario. I do believe he really loves me but when he does it makes me think he's a horndog with no self control and it's a matter of time before some woman hits on him in a bar and he cheats.

Girl do you have any standards? Your bar is so low it's on the floor. Dump this guy and find someone who doesn't constantly lie to you and disrespect you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you’re not alone but don’t try to be a “cool girl” who pretends this blatant disrespect is okay. If he likes looking at his friends in bikinis, that’s fine if and only if he keeps ALL thoughts and praise in his own head.

I’m a middle aged fuddy duddy of a woman (happily married for almost 20 years FWIW) but I simply cannot understand why so many young women in their prime seem to be okay with losers essentially humiliating them in public. There are LOTS of potential boyfriends out there, OP. You don’t need to settle for this garbage.

I called him and called him out about it and he said he'll go through and unlike all the pics and that theyre just girls he's friends with. The thing is I've mentioned it before and then he does it again. He always tells me I'm the love of his life, his soulmate, that he cant imagine life with anyone else... but whenever he does this it makes me think it's all BS. I go back and forth between thinking I should leave and then thinking I'm overreacting. As far as I know he's never cheated but I get so fed up with this scenario. I do believe he really loves me but when he does it makes me think he's a horndog with no self control and it's a matter of time before some woman hits on him in a bar and he cheats.

Girl do you have any standards? Your bar is so low it's on the floor. Dump this guy and find someone who doesn't constantly lie to you and disrespect you.

Yeah, I do have standards, hence me considering ending the relationship and posting here (duh). I'm looking to hear from DCUM how big of a deal this is and how seriously it should be taken. I'm not as old as the majority of the posters here so still unsure of what to expect

[Anonymous]

It’s a red flag in the sense that you know he’s a dumbass for being so obvious

[Anonymous]

Your insecurity about this is a red flag, yes

[Anonymous]

How long have you been dating him? I don't FW liars or losers, he sounds like both. Some thirsty dude liking bikini insta pics is gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How long have you been dating him? I don't FW liars or losers, he sounds like both. Some thirsty dude liking bikini insta pics is gross.

I completely agree, never thought I'd have to deal with this. As I told him, it's embarrassing.

He's gone through and unfollowed these girls to appease me but what worries me is that he has done it in the first place. He got caught and called out so now he's unfollowed but if this is how he wants to act... I dont want to have to deal with it for the rest of my life.

[Anonymous]

A bikini is just comfortable beach wear. What is wrong with liking them? It is just a way of expressing that they are looking good. Nothing more.

[Anonymous]

It is exactly like when your friends post a nice picture of their vacation. You like them.

What is disrespectable about liking bikini pictures?