Is cohabitation before marriage a good idea

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think it’s a good idea to cohabitate together before marriage? What’s your reason? For how long should you do it for?

I think I read some research in the past that said couples who cohabitate before marriage are more likely to divorce. I’m confused about why that is?

This study from 2023 indicates that it's about intention and not the living arrangement. If you move in together with the intention to marry - i.e. -you are engaged - your marriage success odds are better. Which is kind of common sense, IMO.

My viewpoint on this has changed after 22 years of marriage - I think engaged couples should co-habitate and women who desire an equal partnership in terms of household tasks, cooking, the invisible labor of planning, gifts, birthday cards, etc. should be clear about it and treat the co-habitation period as a trial period. Of course, this can apply to men too, but repeated studies on who does the most household work and childcare indicate it's women. That's my TED talk.

Whoops, forgot the link: https://liberalarts.du.edu/news-events/all-articles/new-du-study-highlights-risks-living-together-engagement

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Definitely cohabitation is a great way to really get to know someone. Highly recommend it.

+1
How can you learn about another person's personal habits, standards of hygiene and cleanliness, how they handle adversity and conflict, relationship with money without first living with them? Not to mention sexual compatibility. Going on dates down to the malt shop and then sitting on the porch chastely holding hands just won't cut it.

You can learn all of these without cohabiting. You can spend time at each other’s homes, go on vacations, and just pay attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you think it’s a good idea to cohabitate together before marriage? What’s your reason? For how long should you do it for?

I think I read some research in the past that said couples who cohabitate before marriage are more likely to divorce. I’m confused about why that is?

We moved in together once we were engaged. We married about six months later. Frankly, it felt like our marriage started on th3 day we moved in together. Our 30th anniversary is in Sept.

I tend to think having a long term commitment before cohabitating is important- but it doesn't have to be marriage. Moving in six months before marriage let us see if there were any issues we had not addressed. It was a probationary period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Definitely cohabitation is a great way to really get to know someone. Highly recommend it.

+1
How can you learn about another person's personal habits, standards of hygiene and cleanliness, how they handle adversity and conflict, relationship with money without first living with them? Not to mention sexual compatibility. Going on dates down to the malt shop and then sitting on the porch chastely holding hands just won't cut it.

You can learn all of these without cohabiting. You can spend time at each other’s homes, go on vacations, and just pay attention.

no. people can tidy up when someone is expected/ mask for a week or two here and there....You need to live together to understand each others defaults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you think it’s a good idea to cohabitate together before marriage? What’s your reason? For how long should you do it for?

I think I read some research in the past that said couples who cohabitate before marriage are more likely to divorce. I’m confused about why that is?

The research is that those who don’t cohabitate before marriage are more likely stay in a bad marriage because they also don’t believe in divorce. Even if the marriage has addiction, abuse or cheating

[jsteele]

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1212514.page