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Is cohabitation before marriage a good idea
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Anonymous
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Do you think it’s a good idea to cohabitate together before marriage? What’s your reason? For how long should you do it for?
I think I read some research in the past that said couples who cohabitate before marriage are more likely to divorce. I’m confused about why that is? |
Anonymous
| No. |
Anonymous
| No |
Anonymous
| No. |
Anonymous
| No. It’s a sign that one party has doubts about whether the other is the one they want to marry. People who wait also are likely to have conventional views about the San of the instiyof marriage, therefore, are more likely to work hard to preserve the marriage when bumps inevitably arise. |
Anonymous
| Sanctity not San |
Anonymous
| Yes. Definitely cohabitation is a great way to really get to know someone. Highly recommend it. |
Anonymous
| The research suggests it isn't a good idea. The rabbi we were required to do 2 sessions with tried to push it because she lived with her husband for many years prior and seemed to think she was the leading authority. She is now divorced and we have been married over 20 years so we are fine with our decision to wait to wait until marriage to live together. Do what you want, just don't try to impose your views on others. |
Anonymous
You do realize that your example logically proves nothing correct? |
Anonymous
+1 How can you learn about another person's personal habits, standards of hygiene and cleanliness, how they handle adversity and conflict, relationship with money without first living with them? Not to mention sexual compatibility. Going on dates down to the malt shop and then sitting on the porch chastely holding hands just won't cut it. |
Anonymous
| Didn’t hurt me or my siblings. We’re all still married! |
Anonymous
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It made sense for us— financially having two households would have been dumb and we were so young there was no reason to get married. Lived together for a few years and have been married for 30.
Generally I think marriage is overstated as means of ensuring commitment to a person/relationship. You can be very committed to someone without being married (and vv). |
Anonymous
+1 3/3 plus numerous cousins did and are all still married |
Anonymous
| The more recent studies regarding cohabitation before marriage state that it lowers marital commitment and satisfaction, as well as increasing the likelihood of divorce. So even though people may still be married after having lived together before marriage, is the marriage as solid as it could be? |
Anonymous
This study from 2023 indicates that it's about intention and not the living arrangement. If you move in together with the intention to marry - i.e. -you are engaged - your marriage success odds are better. Which is kind of common sense, IMO. My viewpoint on this has changed after 22 years of marriage - I think engaged couples should co-habitate and women who desire an equal partnership in terms of household tasks, cooking, the invisible labor of planning, gifts, birthday cards, etc. should be clear about it and treat the co-habitation period as a trial period. Of course, this can apply to men too, but repeated studies on who does the most household work and childcare indicate it's women. That's my TED talk. |