Newly divorced introvert

[Anonymous]

Hiking club is a good idea. My friends met that way and continue this together as a hobby many years later. I think it helps when you sincerely like the hobby and do it before trying to meet someone. However, it's also worth it to try new things. What's something you've wanted to try but never have? This is a perfect time for you to explore neglected parts of yourself. Try one of those too.

You sound adorable. I wish you the best!

[Anonymous]

I am shocked you are 45 with adult kids. My parents were like that. Not me. I have 46. My youngest child is 9.

I have 10 years of parenting left basically. She is going into 4th grade.

I am introverted woman; I do fine on dating apps. But I have stopped dating. Men who want something serious won't work for me as I won't upend my kids lives but I don't want a FB either. So, I am kind of screwed.

When I do date, I date 30s men who have never been married or have kids. They can accommodate my schedule and don't expect a serious relationship leading to marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What kind of bike you got Op?

Kawasaki Ninja 650

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked you are 45 with adult kids. My parents were like that. Not me. I have 46. My youngest child is 9.

I have 10 years of parenting left basically. She is going into 4th grade.

I am introverted woman; I do fine on dating apps. But I have stopped dating. Men who want something serious won't work for me as I won't upend my kids lives but I don't want a FB either. So, I am kind of screwed.

When I do date, I date 30s men who have never been married or have kids. They can accommodate my schedule and don't expect a serious relationship leading to marriage.

We married when we were in graduate school and had kids soon after 1 year apart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hiking club is a good idea. My friends met that way and continue this together as a hobby many years later. I think it helps when you sincerely like the hobby and do it before trying to meet someone. However, it's also worth it to try new things. What's something you've wanted to try but never have? This is a perfect time for you to explore neglected parts of yourself. Try one of those too.

You sound adorable. I wish you the best!

Thank you so much. I would love to learn Salsa. I genuinely enjoy learning new things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Consulting is great for introverts too.
No presenting. Not much communicating. No team projects or mentoring pesky junior hires.

You are correct lol. I am a consulting actuary in the pension field.

[Anonymous]

OP I don't think being introvert is your issue. I think you have anxiety from lack of experience. People who married their first love very young have a very hard time moving on. People learn to date and deal with multiple personalities in their 20s and you were already married by then. Naturally you are lost and you have reasons to be. Even some of us who are more "experienced" are not exactly thriving in this modern dating market. We are doing okay.

My advice would be as other suggested to joina hiking group and just nake genuine connection. Sometimes the best relationships come from friends you met while doing a hobby that you enjoy. Given your personality you will struggle on OLD because many of the women on OLD have had their share of losers and/or relationships that went nowhere. So these women will be just too much for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked you are 45 with adult kids. My parents were like that. Not me. I have 46. My youngest child is 9.

I have 10 years of parenting left basically. She is going into 4th grade.

I am introverted woman; I do fine on dating apps. But I have stopped dating. Men who want something serious won't work for me as I won't upend my kids lives but I don't want a FB either. So, I am kind of screwed.

When I do date, I date 30s men who have never been married or have kids. They can accommodate my schedule and don't expect a serious relationship leading to marriage.

We married when we were in graduate school and had kids soon after 1 year apart.

I figured something like that. My point is that many people in this area still have kids under the age of 12 at 45. This mean a lot of people your age are in a different life stage. That can make dating hard.

My exH, 50, has been divorced since he was 46. Dating has been hard and he stopped. He does not date 30s women. They want kids still. He is done.

[Anonymous]

Lord you sound so nice and normal. I like the hiking club idea, or maybe tell some friends you are open to meeting women. Your friends’ wives may know some nice single women.

But if you feel like just having some dates lined up, you’ll get plenty of interest online. I have no doubt. You simply don’t understand how vile most other single men your age can be. Just by being employed, attractive, having some hobbies and being kind, you are a real prize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked you are 45 with adult kids. My parents were like that. Not me. I have 46. My youngest child is 9.

I have 10 years of parenting left basically. She is going into 4th grade.

I am introverted woman; I do fine on dating apps. But I have stopped dating. Men who want something serious won't work for me as I won't upend my kids lives but I don't want a FB either. So, I am kind of screwed.

When I do date, I date 30s men who have never been married or have kids. They can accommodate my schedule and don't expect a serious relationship leading to marriage.

We married when we were in graduate school and had kids soon after 1 year apart.

I figured something like that. My point is that many people in this area still have kids under the age of 12 at 45. This mean a lot of people your age are in a different life stage. That can make dating hard.

My exH, 50, has been divorced since he was 46. Dating has been hard and he stopped. He does not date 30s women. They want kids still. He is done.

Divorced men in their 40s have a bleak outlook as far as dating. Women in their 50s don't want them. Women in their 30s may consider them but only if they want children and/or remarry. Women in their 20s will just break their heart. Divorced women in their 40s have more options because marriage pressure often comes from women and said women aren't looking to remarry. And further these women are done having kids so their boyfriends aren't with them to have kids. These women can truly have their cake and it too.

[Anonymous]

Motorcycling may be a turn off for a lot of women because it's a really dangerous hobby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Motorcycling may be a turn off for a lot of women because it's a really dangerous hobby.

Plenty of women will be fine with it. I would be. It’s one of his passions and the right person will let him be himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hiking club is a good idea. My friends met that way and continue this together as a hobby many years later. I think it helps when you sincerely like the hobby and do it before trying to meet someone. However, it's also worth it to try new things. What's something you've wanted to try but never have? This is a perfect time for you to explore neglected parts of yourself. Try one of those too.

You sound adorable. I wish you the best!

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Motorcycling may be a turn off for a lot of women because it's a really dangerous hobby.

Guys on sports bikes look hot! It's not a minus or a plus. It's just another hobby. You will be shocked how many men have no hobbies besides watching sports and drinking beer. OP is into motorcycling, hiking and wood making. He just needs to find the right woman and if they match she will be super wet for him in excitement. The hookup culture is not everyone's cup of tea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked you are 45 with adult kids. My parents were like that. Not me. I have 46. My youngest child is 9.

I have 10 years of parenting left basically. She is going into 4th grade.

I am introverted woman; I do fine on dating apps. But I have stopped dating. Men who want something serious won't work for me as I won't upend my kids lives but I don't want a FB either. So, I am kind of screwed.

When I do date, I date 30s men who have never been married or have kids. They can accommodate my schedule and don't expect a serious relationship leading to marriage.

We married when we were in graduate school and had kids soon after 1 year apart.

I figured something like that. My point is that many people in this area still have kids under the age of 12 at 45. This mean a lot of people your age are in a different life stage. That can make dating hard.

My exH, 50, has been divorced since he was 46. Dating has been hard and he stopped. He does not date 30s women. They want kids still. He is done.

Divorced men in their 40s have a bleak outlook as far as dating. Women in their 50s don't want them. Women in their 30s may consider them but only if they want children and/or remarry. Women in their 20s will just break their heart. Divorced women in their 40s have more options because marriage pressure often comes from women and said women aren't looking to remarry. And further these women are done having kids so their boyfriends aren't with them to have kids. These women can truly have their cake and it too.

PP here. I agree. I can date 25-60+. I am dating now but when I do, I date men 10-15 years younger because I can. Women over 40 have much better options than men over 40.