Two widows who couldn't be more different

[Anonymous]

Sounds like MIL is an introvert who still gets together with friends or in a class up 3x a week. That's not a problem OP.

[Anonymous]

Wow, your mom is way better than your MIL! Good thing she’s superior to MIL when it comes to being a widow.

OMG you better get on that Tylenol PM addiction STAT. Sounds awful.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like they have not changed (ie they were different before being widowed).

They are using their freedom the way they both want. It is not about pleasing or impressing the younger generation.

[Anonymous]

I’m a widow. Mind your own damn business.

[Anonymous]

She’s retired, what are you expecting her to do?

What’s your real issue with her? Let’s hear it instead of this made-up one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, you're basically just bragging re: your Mom vs the MIL
MIL is a different person, a person who:
Sees people everyday since she lives in a 55+ community.
Plays pool once a week. Does Tai Chi once a week.
Visits her daughter often.
Visits the casino once a week with a friend.

I see no problem, beyond your judging. MYOB

Yup. Why is your mom even relevant here?

[Anonymous]

Yikes, hope my future DIL isn’t as awful as you are.

[Anonymous]

I can barely get my mother in assisted living to go to meals, OP. And she’s is extremely educated and used to do a lot. Your MIL is fine.

[Anonymous]

I’m not getting any alarm bells at all from your description of MIL.

Are you aware that people have different personalities and that that is ok?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Tylenol PM could be part of the reason she is so unmotivated. She's taking a form of depressant every night to sleep, which builds up. She probably wakes up without a lot of energy and isn't putting 2 and 2 together.

If your SIL is telling you she's concerned then 1) as a PP stated, it might be her way of asking you and your DH to do more, and/or 2) she might not realize what the Tylenol PM could be causing. Regular Tylenol makes me tired the next day. Add the PM and it would be worse.

It's not that strong, pp.

I'm the PP you're replying to. You are assuming that how your chemistry responds to meds is universal. I can barely eat sugar with out having a reaction. My chemistry is very sensitive. Doctors never believe it until they experience it. Who knows if OP's MIL is the same or not. I'm just throwing it out there that this could be adding to what the SIL seems to think is a problem with activity. We are all guessing.

[Anonymous]

Does MIL WANT to do more? Because it sounds like she has friends and goes out several times a week, but also stays in and relaxes. Sounds like she found the balance that works for her. If she's complaining about being lonely or bored, that's a different story.

[Anonymous]

Being busy every day is not necessarily better than having activities three times a week.

My MIL takes pride in being busy and how busy she is always a topic of conversation with her.

I don’t think busyness is a medal to wear but some do.

Watching that much TV doesn’t sound healthy though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Tylenol PM could be part of the reason she is so unmotivated. She's taking a form of depressant every night to sleep, which builds up. She probably wakes up without a lot of energy and isn't putting 2 and 2 together.

If your SIL is telling you she's concerned then 1) as a PP stated, it might be her way of asking you and your DH to do more, and/or 2) she might not realize what the Tylenol PM could be causing. Regular Tylenol makes me tired the next day. Add the PM and it would be worse.

It's not that strong, pp.

I'm the PP you're replying to. You are assuming that how your chemistry responds to meds is universal. I can barely eat sugar with out having a reaction. My chemistry is very sensitive. Doctors never believe it until they experience it. Who knows if OP's MIL is the same or not. I'm just throwing it out there that this could be adding to what the SIL seems to think is a problem with activity. We are all guessing.

Did you read MIL’s activity level before posting this?

[Anonymous]

Worldwide, people spend an average of 6 hours and 40 minutes per day on screens.

And many of them work and have families.

But your MIL lives alone and doesn’t work.

Everything is relative.

[Anonymous]

Are they both happy?