Why don't men like wearing condoms or ask about STI when having hookups FWB or an app?

[Anonymous]

Because condoms suck and a lot of the time it turns out fine. Is that the right way to make the choice? No, but it's a very common way people think about all kinds of things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman on the apps and I can tell you that many men have performance issues when it comes to wearing a condom. It’s not negotiable to me though, so I’m selective and insist on testing if we go that route.

Yep, it's this. They can't get it up with a condom. Seen this several times. Not negotiable with me, either.

[Anonymous]

So y'all really think women are so virtuous that an incredibly large number of them don't behave the same way? Or that it's a ploy by old men with ED taking advantage of unsuspecting ladies? Get over yourselves! 🤣🤣

I can admit to being fairly reckless when I wasn't in committed relationships but there was never a lack of willing women participants because (a) both parties are either caught in the moment or (b) both just think it flat out feels better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So y'all really think women are so virtuous that an incredibly large number of them don't behave the same way? Or that it's a ploy by old men with ED taking advantage of unsuspecting ladies? Get over yourselves! 🤣🤣

I can admit to being fairly reckless when I wasn't in committed relationships but there was never a lack of willing women participants because (a) both parties are either caught in the moment or (b) both just think it flat out feels better.

And just adding that I recognize it's not advisable to practice unprotected sex, but it's not out of the ordinary or a man-centric thing.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Agree that condoms affect men’s performance and enjoyment.

For every man who has unprotected sex, there is a partner participating and going along with it.

[Anonymous]

Every individual makes choices. The only gaurenteed BC for men right now is condoms or a vasectomy. So when men choose to not use condoms, they are trusting the woman isn't lying or otherwise.

As a woman, I've never asked a man not to wear a condom, but I've always had men that gave me grief over not wanting to use protection. But also not caring about testing. So, at least in my experience, 90+% of the time it was men wanting to taking risks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman on the apps and I can tell you that many men have performance issues when it comes to wearing a condom. It’s not negotiable to me though, so I’m selective and insist on testing if we go that route.

This is a fact.

Sure, an 18 year-old can perform with a condom; does not matter.

Men in their 30s are not 18 years-old anymore.

I don’t understand why women fail to know this. Maybe they don’t WANT to understand?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men don't care about consequences, to be frank. As a result I know many with kids from one night stands. Haven't met a ton with STIs but I wouldn't be surprised by that either.

Yeah I know. Pretty crazy how women never do that, which is why it’s only men with kids from one night stands. Women of course never have kids from one night stands. 🙄

To be fair, of the women in those those situations I know one was a drug user and lost custody of 6 kids and the other (not verified) was very mentally ill. Again, anyone looks attractive for a one night stand. But you don't actually know who that person is and if they have the mental capacity to understand the consequences of their actions.

So sounds to me from your description that both genders can be stupid and impulsive.

[Anonymous]

I'm a man that NEVER has sex without a condom. Until I did. I was always taught to wear a condom and I refused to not put one on for years. Until I had a girlfriend suggest we try it without condoms.

The difference is like taking a shower wearing a raincoat. Or eating at a Michelin rated seafood restaurant and then trying to eat at Red Lobster. It's the same activity but only nominally.

[Anonymous]

A big part of it is the perceived risk-reward ratio. For women there’s a higher risk to unprotected sex: pregnancy if she’s not on other BC and a higher STI burden (easier for women to get infected due to anatomy and being the receptive partner; often worse/more noticeable/more harmful symptoms). That’s paired with a lower reward: penetration often is not as pleasurable for women as for men; especially in casual encounters the climax gap is higher. And the difference in sensation between condom/ no condom for a woman is minimal, especially if there’s enough lubrication.

For men, on the other hand, they barely give a thought to pregnancy risk (happy to leave the burden on the woman). They don’t worry as much about STIs because a lot tend to be less symptomatic on men, less obvious, don’t threaten their fertility or they don’t worry about their future fertility, for example. Men get more out of sex, generally (they usually climax from PIV), and the difference in sensation between condom and no condom is much greater for them.

So, yeah, unless they are more considerate about their partners than the average man or more concerned about health & pregnancy than most they will resist the condom. The older they are the more resistant they become because the impact on sensation and performance is greater.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman on the apps and I can tell you that many men have performance issues when it comes to wearing a condom. It’s not negotiable to me though, so I’m selective and insist on testing if we go that route.

Yep, it's this. They can't get it up with a condom. Seen this several times. Not negotiable with me, either.

Shouldn't they be "up" before putting the condom on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a man that NEVER has sex without a condom. Until I did. I was always taught to wear a condom and I refused to not put one on for years. Until I had a girlfriend suggest we try it without condoms.

The difference is like taking a shower wearing a raincoat. Or eating at a Michelin rated seafood restaurant and then trying to eat at Red Lobster. It's the same activity but only nominally.

Eating red lobster is better than starving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman on the apps and I can tell you that many men have performance issues when it comes to wearing a condom. It’s not negotiable to me though, so I’m selective and insist on testing if we go that route.

Yep, it's this. They can't get it up with a condom. Seen this several times. Not negotiable with me, either.

Shouldn't they be "up" before putting the condom on?

Yes.

The bigger issue is the man not being able to “finish up” with a condom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman on the apps and I can tell you that many men have performance issues when it comes to wearing a condom. It’s not negotiable to me though, so I’m selective and insist on testing if we go that route.

Yep, it's this. They can't get it up with a condom. Seen this several times. Not negotiable with me, either.

Shouldn't they be "up" before putting the condom on?

The mouth helps. But women don't want to put a strange duck in their mouth sometimes. Fair enough.

If I'm semi-hard rubbing it on her pu$$ and hearing her moan helps to reach full hardness, but that's not safe sex.

If I'm nervous and not fully hard and I try to put a stupid condom on it is likely to go soft.

There are really women who don't know all this?!