Throughout the day, how often do you talk to S/O?

[Anonymous]

We have been married for 13 years and together for 16. Some days we text a lot. Some days we can be in the same
House working and not talk for 8 hours straight. Just depends on how busy we are with work.

[Anonymous]

Never. Married 15 years to someone in a SCIF. In fact, when I was pregnant he gave me a phone tree so that I could reach *someone* in case I went into labor. It had like 10 numbers. There often aren't even phones where he works (lab) and he doesn't have access to personal email.

I get what you're saying though and I used to wish we could text. I remember when we were dating how hard it was. I also realize now how complicated my own job is. I often only check my cell phone once a day or so. No time for more. It rings if I'm needed though at daycare or school.

[Anonymous]

Married 10 yrs. Text about logistics/school pickups/dinner etc. Once a day max. I have a coworker who texts her spouse non stop all day long, including through meetings with clients and supervisors and I find it odd.

[Anonymous]

Not often. When I’m at work, I’m at work. And I’m not a surgeon or anything - I work in software, so I can take breaks in between meetings. But I just prefer to focus on work when I’m at work - and at home, I don’t work at night or over the weekend unless there’s some issue.

I’m not great at multitasking. I think it works out well - when I’m at work, I’m focused on work. At home, my spouse/kids/friends/family are getting all of my attention. But obviously YMMV.

[Anonymous]

Regardless of who is texting me, I have a busy, demanding job and often don’t respond to non urgent texts throughout the day.

DH and I have been together for almost as long as texting has been a thing, and even in the early days we often only checked in at night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the time. We both WAH. Different floors of house, but interact a lot, go work out together. Teens off for summer now too.

Yep. Same. Everyone home in a small-average size house.

[Anonymous]

I would never text my spouse/boyfriend during work. Op, you are not doing this right.

[Anonymous]

It really depends. I'm not a chat-during-the-day person unless we have an issue (e.g. trying to get a doctor's appointment, child is sick, updates on something financial or personal). But that doesn't happen very often.

When I worked in an office, and DH worked in an office he'd call in the morning to let me know kids were dropped at respective places and then when both of us left our offices we'd text or call with an "on my way - do you need me to pick anything up?" or whatever. But that was before covid.

Now that we work in the same building (ahem. Home) I see him during breakfast, maybe during lunch, and at the end of the day. I might pop in on him if I have a question/thought or text him. But this is very different from being in an office.

When I had a boyfriend he'd call me on his way to work and then again later in the afternoon on his way home. Pretty much nothing in between.

[Anonymous]

Almost never unless something is going on the other needs to know.

[Anonymous]

Usually check in once near the end of the work day to figure out logistics for that evening. Work is for working not texting/chatting with SO. What type of job do you have that allows frequent check in?

[Anonymous]

Never. We generally go 12 hours each day without contact. We have super demanding jobs (medicine). We've been married 23 years.

[Anonymous]

Okay thank you. The majority here seems to be married and not talking much throughout the day.

My situation is, I’m dating. There’s times I’m left on read for hours and he’s on social media reposting but hasn’t returned a text.

I’m not expecting to text all day, or talk all day. Moreso, if he’s able to get on social media and interact, I would think he could respond to a text.

Maybe I’m overthinking. Any advice?

[Anonymous]

We might send a funny video or coordinate some logistics (like asking about a kid pickup, possible weekend plans, or a form being signed).

But it's also not unusual for us to not need to chat a ton during the day. I'd only ask how his day went during the day if I knew he had a big event or presentation or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay thank you. The majority here seems to be married and not talking much throughout the day.

My situation is, I’m dating. There’s times I’m left on read for hours and he’s on social media reposting but hasn’t returned a text.

I’m not expecting to text all day, or talk all day. Moreso, if he’s able to get on social media and interact, I would think he could respond to a text.

Maybe I’m overthinking. Any advice?

Stop keeping track in this way.

If you are getting other indications from him that he is not as into you as you might be into him, don't ignore those. It's ok to plop this data point down into your relationship and say "hmm, I don't love this". You don't have to fix it or brow beat him into responding. Just sit with it for a bit. And then decide if you can live with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay thank you. The majority here seems to be married and not talking much throughout the day.

My situation is, I’m dating. There’s times I’m left on read for hours and he’s on social media reposting but hasn’t returned a text.

I’m not expecting to text all day, or talk all day. Moreso, if he’s able to get on social media and interact, I would think he could respond to a text.

Maybe I’m overthinking. Any advice?

You are overthinking. As I said above, when I had a boyfriend, we talked in the AM before work, and then in the PM after work. Nothing in between.