For Catholics: Baptism Question

[Anonymous]

OP - unfortunately, parish and priest matter here. Ask your nanny for a priest at her church that she would recommend you speak with about this.

[Anonymous]

As other posters said, baptism before age 7 is considered "infant baptism" and the child does not need to take any sort of class. The parents usually have to attend one class where they stress the seriousness of the sacrament since a lot of people are just doing it to appease parents.
One of the godparents must be a practicing Catholic, I imagine you will have your nanny so that's not a problem. I was unable to find a single practicing Catholic among my friends and family so we used a college friend of my husband's that he barely sees.
They ask if/where you were married but it doesn't matter. I guess they just want the data. We married young and my mother arranged the whole thing with a civil ceremony and we still haven't validated it in church.

[Anonymous]

It is generally rare for a priest to actually deny baptism to a child if their parents want them to be baptized.

I would, as others have suggested, speak with one of the priests at the church your son has been attending.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is generally rare for a priest to actually deny baptism to a child if their parents want them to be baptized.

I would, as others have suggested, speak with one of the priests at the church your son has been attending.

Op here. So does the priest have the discretion to make the decision? Or is he bound by the parameters of the Diocese? Our local Diocese is known to be very conservative and they say that the godparents have to have been married in the church.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is generally rare for a priest to actually deny baptism to a child if their parents want them to be baptized.

I would, as others have suggested, speak with one of the priests at the church your son has been attending.

Op here. So does the priest have the discretion to make the decision? Or is he bound by the parameters of the Diocese? Our local Diocese is known to be very conservative and they say that the godparents have to have been married in the church.

Most churches in the Arlington Diocese won’t accept godparents that aren’t “in good standing with the church” (which includes requiring that they were married in the church if applicable) However no Catholic Church is going to deny your child baptism for want of an appropriate godparent. Your local parish is almost certain to have a number of elderly parishioners who would be delighted to stand in to fulfill the role.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is generally rare for a priest to actually deny baptism to a child if their parents want them to be baptized.

I would, as others have suggested, speak with one of the priests at the church your son has been attending.

Op here. So does the priest have the discretion to make the decision? Or is he bound by the parameters of the Diocese? Our local Diocese is known to be very conservative and they say that the godparents have to have been married in the church.

Most churches in the Arlington Diocese won’t accept godparents that aren’t “in good standing with the church” (which includes requiring that they were married in the church if applicable) However no Catholic Church is going to deny your child baptism for want of an appropriate godparent. Your local parish is almost certain to have a number of elderly parishioners who would be delighted to stand in to fulfill the role.

This is a good point. Godparents (more properly sponsors) can be found. The larger issue as previously noted is convincing the priest that there is a founded hope of the child being raised Catholic.

[Anonymous]

But do you intend to raise him in the faith after the nanny is gone? How about just waiting and letting him decide when he’s older and can make his faith his own? There’s no requirement for infant baptism. Let the nanny keep taking him if they both enjoy it. Given that her own marriage is not a sacramental one, it’s not really appropriate for her to press her opinions on you. Let your son find his own way. I truly think adult converts have a strong and beautiful faith because they choose it for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please don’t judge me.

I was confirmed as Catholic because my parents forced it on me. Religion never made sense to me and I was never a believer.

I have a 5 yo and we don’t go to church and he was never baptized. I am married but not in the church. My husband was baptized Lutheran but not confirmed.

We have a long term family friend/nanny who is deeply religious (Catholic) and takes our son to Mass twice a week and to church events. Our son has special needs and absolutely loves Mass and is a bit of a rockstar at her parish. People love him and he loves going.

She has expressed concern over him not being baptized. She is literally like family to us and we value her.

I would like to get my son baptized because church has meaning for him and he enjoys it.

But how do we actually make this happen? How do we find a priest who will do it? Our nanny is married but not in the church. I understand that our Diocese is very conservative. The baptism form for the parish asks if the parents were married in the church and if the godparents were married in the church.

Can this be done? I feel we are running out of time to get this done. Do we just apply and see what the church says?

Anyone (even a non Christian) can perform a Catholic baptism so it absolutely can be done. Most Catholic parents obviously opt to have it done in a church by a priest (and of course the church encourages this route) but at the end of the day the intention is what matters so your nanny could just baptize him in your bathtub and it’s still a valid baptism.

I have never hard this. Some random parishioner can’t just decide to dunk a kid in their bathtub and call it a baptism.

You are incorrect. Anyone. Believer. Non-believer. Atheist. Agnostic. Hindu. Buddhist. Anyone. Can validly confer baptism in a case of necessity so long as they (1) intend what the Church intends; (2) pour water over the person’s head; and (3) while doing so recite the minimum formula “[Name] I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.”

+1 This is absolutely all you need for a valid Catholic baptism. My parents report that they were not attending Mass when I was born, so my Catholic grandmothers each baptized me themselves at home. I was baptized a third time in a church. I think technically, only the first one counts.

The important canonical part is “in case of necessity.” Your Catholic grandmothers did not perform a valid baptism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But do you intend to raise him in the faith after the nanny is gone? How about just waiting and letting him decide when he’s older and can make his faith his own? There’s no requirement for infant baptism. Let the nanny keep taking him if they both enjoy it. Given that her own marriage is not a sacramental one, it’s not really appropriate for her to press her opinions on you. Let your son find his own way. I truly think adult converts have a strong and beautiful faith because they choose it for themselves.

Op here. The nanny is a permanent part of our lives no matter what, and I believe she will keep taking him to church. I’m willing to do it occasionally if it benefits DS and he continues to enjoy it. But I don’t think I would otherwise be pursuing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please don’t judge me.

I was confirmed as Catholic because my parents forced it on me. Religion never made sense to me and I was never a believer.

I have a 5 yo and we don’t go to church and he was never baptized. I am married but not in the church. My husband was baptized Lutheran but not confirmed.

We have a long term family friend/nanny who is deeply religious (Catholic) and takes our son to Mass twice a week and to church events. Our son has special needs and absolutely loves Mass and is a bit of a rockstar at her parish. People love him and he loves going.

She has expressed concern over him not being baptized. She is literally like family to us and we value her.

I would like to get my son baptized because church has meaning for him and he enjoys it.

But how do we actually make this happen? How do we find a priest who will do it? Our nanny is married but not in the church. I understand that our Diocese is very conservative. The baptism form for the parish asks if the parents were married in the church and if the godparents were married in the church.

Can this be done? I feel we are running out of time to get this done. Do we just apply and see what the church says?

The bureaucracy is very dependent upon the church and the geographical area I think. I live in the northeast and I registered to a church and asked for a baptism for my children with the same paperwork. No baptism classes for parents or godparents. The priest did a baptism class during the actual baptism. My sister lives in the south and for me to be her child’s godparent, I’ve had to submit my marriage certificate to her church, take an online class (only a few hours long so not bad, but still more than our church), and she and her husband had to take a class as a parent and be registered parishioners at her church for I think six months before the baptism.

I too thought I was going to be judged for having my children not baptized for many years, but everyone at the church could not have been nicer and more welcoming. I had built it up in my head as some major issue, but it was a non-issue. My fear and embarrassment held me back for years, and in retrospect I learned that the church just wants families to come back-no matter how long they’ve been gone or how many sacraments someone has had.

On not believing, I also went through a long period of agnosticism leaning towards atheism. A few years ago I started to read the catechism of the Catholic Church out of boredom and philosophical curiosity, since I had never read it in my youth. I actually had never even heard of it, even though I somehow was also confirmed and went to CCD until I graduated high school. I studied philosophy in college, so I approached it from an academic perspective. I was surprised that my personal worldview and philosophy found no contradictions with what the catechism said, and in fact the doctrine was extremely compelling to me. I realized that a lot of Catholics don’t know their own catechism, including me when I was younger, which means a lot of people are walking around loudly representing Catholicism poorly and inaccurately. I don’t know if you already have read the actual catechism, but if you haven’t you may find it interesting and impactful on your perspective of Catholicism? I am now full circle and consider myself a practicing Catholic who truly believes and likes going to mass every week, which would have surprised the younger version of me.

Also it’s an entirely different experience going to mass with kids. The churches are filled with older people who really do make the kids feel like rock stars, especially because there aren’t many kids in a lot of churches any more. My kids are just normal kids but they love going to mass and are doted on and love mass (which I never loved as a child!). You may enjoy going with your child to mass, even if you don’t believe, just to see your family welcomed and your child adored by a community!

[Anonymous]

OP you are sick get help.

This is absurd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please don’t judge me.

I was confirmed as Catholic because my parents forced it on me. Religion never made sense to me and I was never a believer.

I have a 5 yo and we don’t go to church and he was never baptized. I am married but not in the church. My husband was baptized Lutheran but not confirmed.

We have a long term family friend/nanny who is deeply religious (Catholic) and takes our son to Mass twice a week and to church events. Our son has special needs and absolutely loves Mass and is a bit of a rockstar at her parish. People love him and he loves going.

She has expressed concern over him not being baptized. She is literally like family to us and we value her.

I would like to get my son baptized because church has meaning for him and he enjoys it.

But how do we actually make this happen? How do we find a priest who will do it? Our nanny is married but not in the church. I understand that our Diocese is very conservative. The baptism form for the parish asks if the parents were married in the church and if the godparents were married in the church.

Can this be done? I feel we are running out of time to get this done. Do we just apply and see what the church says?

Anyone (even a non Christian) can perform a Catholic baptism so it absolutely can be done. Most Catholic parents obviously opt to have it done in a church by a priest (and of course the church encourages this route) but at the end of the day the intention is what matters so your nanny could just baptize him in your bathtub and it’s still a valid baptism.

I have never hard this. Some random parishioner can’t just decide to dunk a kid in their bathtub and call it a baptism.

You are incorrect. Anyone. Believer. Non-believer. Atheist. Agnostic. Hindu. Buddhist. Anyone. Can validly confer baptism in a case of necessity so long as they (1) intend what the Church intends; (2) pour water over the person’s head; and (3) while doing so recite the minimum formula “[Name] I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.”

+1 This is absolutely all you need for a valid Catholic baptism. My parents report that they were not attending Mass when I was born, so my Catholic grandmothers each baptized me themselves at home. I was baptized a third time in a church. I think technically, only the first one counts.

The important canonical part is “in case of necessity.” Your Catholic grandmothers did not perform a valid baptism.

Yes they did. Study further.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please don’t judge me.

I was confirmed as Catholic because my parents forced it on me. Religion never made sense to me and I was never a believer.

I have a 5 yo and we don’t go to church and he was never baptized. I am married but not in the church. My husband was baptized Lutheran but not confirmed.

We have a long term family friend/nanny who is deeply religious (Catholic) and takes our son to Mass twice a week and to church events. Our son has special needs and absolutely loves Mass and is a bit of a rockstar at her parish. People love him and he loves going.

She has expressed concern over him not being baptized. She is literally like family to us and we value her.

I would like to get my son baptized because church has meaning for him and he enjoys it.

But how do we actually make this happen? How do we find a priest who will do it? Our nanny is married but not in the church. I understand that our Diocese is very conservative. The baptism form for the parish asks if the parents were married in the church and if the godparents were married in the church.

Can this be done? I feel we are running out of time to get this done. Do we just apply and see what the church says?

Anyone (even a non Christian) can perform a Catholic baptism so it absolutely can be done. Most Catholic parents obviously opt to have it done in a church by a priest (and of course the church encourages this route) but at the end of the day the intention is what matters so your nanny could just baptize him in your bathtub and it’s still a valid baptism.

I have never hard this. Some random parishioner can’t just decide to dunk a kid in their bathtub and call it a baptism.

You are incorrect. Anyone. Believer. Non-believer. Atheist. Agnostic. Hindu. Buddhist. Anyone. Can validly confer baptism in a case of necessity so long as they (1) intend what the Church intends; (2) pour water over the person’s head; and (3) while doing so recite the minimum formula “[Name] I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.”

+1 This is absolutely all you need for a valid Catholic baptism. My parents report that they were not attending Mass when I was born, so my Catholic grandmothers each baptized me themselves at home. I was baptized a third time in a church. I think technically, only the first one counts.

The important canonical part is “in case of necessity.” Your Catholic grandmothers did not perform a valid baptism.

Yes they did. Study further.

Adding; you confuse validity with liceity.

[Anonymous]

for catholics you NEED to be baptized by a priest - other christian denominations not so.

for catholic baptism - i forget exactly the rubrik but i think until about 6 or 7 or so you can be baptized without having to go through the whole religious education program. would def recommend calling your local parish and dont listen to anyone on this site specifically since most on here hate catholics and are possessed by demons.

[Anonymous]

I find it a bit odd that you want to baptize your child because it's important to the nanny. I know people do it because it's important to a family member but your nanny is an employee, no matter how close you may be. Anyway, keep in mind that during the ceremony, the priest will ask whether you intend to raise the child in the Catholic Church. It sounds like you aren't going to but will outsource it to your nanny. Sorry, that's just weird to me.

But FWIW, the requirements actually vary by parish. I think the most basic requirement that holds true across all parishes is that the godparents must be baptized Catholic. Beyond that, it varies. DH and were baptized Catholic and raised Catholic, but we weren't married in church. It wasn't an issue when we baptized our kids. I don't even think the church required the parents to be baptized Catholic.

Some parishes also require the parents to take class or series of classes prior to the baptism.

It seems like you're going through an awful lot of trouble to baptize your kid when only the nanny cares about it. Just a terrible idea all around.