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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Please don’t judge me.

I was confirmed as Catholic because my parents forced it on me. Religion never made sense to me and I was never a believer.

I have a 5 yo and we don’t go to church and he was never baptized. I am married but not in the church. My husband was baptized Lutheran but not confirmed.

We have a long term family friend/nanny who is deeply religious (Catholic) and takes our son to Mass twice a week and to church events. Our son has special needs and absolutely loves Mass and is a bit of a rockstar at her parish. People love him and he loves going.

She has expressed concern over him not being baptized. She is literally like family to us and we value her.

I would like to get my son baptized because church has meaning for him and he enjoys it.

But how do we actually make this happen? How do we find a priest who will do it? Our nanny is married but not in the church. I understand that our Diocese is very conservative. The baptism form for the parish asks if the parents were married in the church and if the godparents were married in the church.

Can this be done? I feel we are running out of time to get this done. Do we just apply and see what the church says?

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The bureaucracy is very dependent upon the church and the geographical area I think. I live in the northeast and I registered to a church and asked for a baptism for my children with the same paperwork. No baptism classes for parents or godparents. The priest did a baptism class during the actual baptism. My sister lives in the south and for me to be her child’s godparent, I’ve had to submit my marriage certificate to her church, take an online class (only a few hours long so not bad, but still more than our church), and she and her husband had to take a class as a parent and be registered parishioners at her church for I think six months before the baptism.

I too thought I was going to be judged for having my children not baptized for many years, but everyone at the church could not have been nicer and more welcoming. I had built it up in my head as some major issue, but it was a non-issue. My fear and embarrassment held me back for years, and in retrospect I learned that the church just wants families to come back-no matter how long they’ve been gone or how many sacraments someone has had.

On not believing, I also went through a long period of agnosticism leaning towards atheism. A few years ago I started to read the catechism of the Catholic Church out of boredom and philosophical curiosity, since I had never read it in my youth. I actually had never even heard of it, even though I somehow was also confirmed and went to CCD until I graduated high school. I studied philosophy in college, so I approached it from an academic perspective. I was surprised that my personal worldview and philosophy found no contradictions with what the catechism said, and in fact the doctrine was extremely compelling to me. I realized that a lot of Catholics don’t know their own catechism, including me when I was younger, which means a lot of people are walking around loudly representing Catholicism poorly and inaccurately. I don’t know if you already have read the actual catechism, but if you haven’t you may find it interesting and impactful on your perspective of Catholicism? I am now full circle and consider myself a practicing Catholic who truly believes and likes going to mass every week, which would have surprised the younger version of me.

Also it’s an entirely different experience going to mass with kids. The churches are filled with older people who really do make the kids feel like rock stars, especially because there aren’t many kids in a lot of churches any more. My kids are just normal kids but they love going to mass and are doted on and love mass (which I never loved as a child!). You may enjoy going with your child to mass, even if you don’t believe, just to see your family welcomed and your child adored by a community!
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