Fifty isn't old

[Anonymous]

FFS there isn't just young OR old.

There are about 30 years when you're just a regular adult, probably from about 35 to 65. People in that age range are full-time workers with energy and enthusiasm for their career, and they are basic grown a_s adults with a sex drive. They aren't young and they aren't old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe not old but too wise to have the govt dictate your relationships and finances.

+1. I don't see a lot of threads where people say you shouldn't date or be in a relationship, but, there is little point to marriage if you are financially independent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I generally agree with you, OP, but please don't use celebrities as examples of what 50s people look like.

-53 yr old.

It all depends on the person. Many examples of two people roughly the same age, one looks great and the other one looks old and broken.

Very true. I am 42 and younger men tell me I don't look a day over 21. My mother also is 65 and has no wrinkles. So i get away with dating younger men and I often look younger than those younger men as well

I’m the same age. Younger men and women say the same to me. Hate to break it to you, but they’re lying. You look youthful, but you don’t look 21.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think most people over 50 would marry if they met the right person, but that "the right person" is much more narrowly defined.

People make more compromises when they marry younger because the benefits to marriage are more obvious. If you want kids, marriage is a much more desirable setting for them than having them on your own or in a non marital relationship. There are huge financial benefits to marriage if you are still working on building wealth and maybe still working up to home ownership, especially if you are both working full time (though if family oriented, there can still be financial efficiencies to marriage even if you only have one income). Marriage also serves important social functions during this phase in life, creating networks that help with careers, social supports, and child rearing.

Once you are over 50, a lot of those goals are no longer relevant. So people are less willing to make major compromises in order to combine their lives with someone, even someone they really love. Where a 32 year old might be willing to move to another city, deal with difficult ILs, or put up with a demanding job in order to marry someone they want to start a family and build a life with, a 52 year old is far less likely to be willing to make those concessions.

It's not about thinking your life is over at 50 or that people no longer want love or sex or companionship. It's that marriage is about much more than love/sex/companionship (it's about money and kids and creating a single household), and those things are either less appealing or less important to people 50+.

This. I'm 52 and I'm no longer willing to compromise. I've come to love living alone. Doing what I want when I want. If I want a lazy slothy weekend, that's what I do. If I want an adventurous weekend, that's what I do. If I want to go to bed at 7, I do. If I want cereal for dinner that's what I have.

My kids are out of the house. College is paid for. I have my career and more importantly my friends. Sex would be nice but there are devices for that. I can't think of a reason to enter into a relationship again.

[Anonymous]

I'm approaching 50 and life is much better than my 20-30's. My career is established, kids are getting older (and less needy), and I have more disposable money than ever before.

And if I were to get a divorce in next 3-5yrs, I would absolutely want to find a new partner. Dating would be different. I would want someone I can have fun (and good sex) with. I wouldn't be looking for specifics like parental skills for example as that would not be relevant anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I generally agree with you, OP, but please don't use celebrities as examples of what 50s people look like.

-53 yr old.

It all depends on the person. Many examples of two people roughly the same age, one looks great and the other one looks old and broken.

Very true. I am 42 and younger men tell me I don't look a day over 21. My mother also is 65 and has no wrinkles. So i get away with dating younger men and I often look younger than those younger men as well

I’m the same age. Younger men and women say the same to me. Hate to break it to you, but they’re lying. You look youthful, but you don’t look 21.

This. People are being polite. No one looks like they are their kid’s age.

[Anonymous]

Uh...it's not being polite exactly. Men have been known to bend the truth a little to secure a conquest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I generally agree with you, OP, but please don't use celebrities as examples of what 50s people look like.

-53 yr old.

It all depends on the person. Many examples of two people roughly the same age, one looks great and the other one looks old and broken.

Yes but using celebs as examples of looking "young" at 50 is a terrible example. Those people spend $$$ on fillers, botox, facials, etc.. Normal people do not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I generally agree with you, OP, but please don't use celebrities as examples of what 50s people look like.

-53 yr old.

It all depends on the person. Many examples of two people roughly the same age, one looks great and the other one looks old and broken.

Very true. I am 42 and younger men tell me I don't look a day over 21. My mother also is 65 and has no wrinkles. So i get away with dating younger men and I often look younger than those younger men as well

I’m the same age. Younger men and women say the same to me. Hate to break it to you, but they’re lying. You look youthful, but you don’t look 21.

NP. I am 46. I look mid 30s. Anyone who says younger I think is being too nice. About 10% or women statistically look 10 years younger. I have a 34 year old cousin—I look a younger. But that is the limit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I generally agree with you, OP, but please don't use celebrities as examples of what 50s people look like.

-53 yr old.

It all depends on the person. Many examples of two people roughly the same age, one looks great and the other one looks old and broken.

Very true. I am 42 and younger men tell me I don't look a day over 21. My mother also is 65 and has no wrinkles. So i get away with dating younger men and I often look younger than those younger men as well

I’m the same age. Younger men and women say the same to me. Hate to break it to you, but they’re lying. You look youthful, but you don’t look 21.

This. People are being polite. No one looks like they are their kid’s age.

DP but most early 40s do not have kids in their 20s. At 41, my youngest was 4 years old. Like everyone around me. 40s today is not what it was 20 years ago.

[Anonymous]

I agree with this.

"DP but most early 40s do not have kids in their 20s. At 41, my youngest was 4 years old. Like everyone around me. 40s today is not what it was 20 years ago."

I had my one DC at age 38. I married a little over a year before that. Up until then, I was hitting the gym regularly, exploring new things/places/people, and keeping up with hair, makeup, and clothes trends. At 41, my mom was in the middle of chasing four kids around as a homemaker, and she'd been "off the market" for almost 20 years by that point in her life, like most women of her generation.

[Anonymous]

TIL that Eva Mendes is 50, and she's 7 years older than Ryan Gosling. I mean, I too would not let an age gap stand in the way of marrying and having children with Eva Mendes (I am a straight woman), but still, that's very progressive of them! So rare in Hollywood to see the age gap go that direction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I generally agree with you, OP, but please don't use celebrities as examples of what 50s people look like.

-53 yr old.

It all depends on the person. Many examples of two people roughly the same age, one looks great and the other one looks old and broken.

Very true. I am 42 and younger men tell me I don't look a day over 21. My mother also is 65 and has no wrinkles. So i get away with dating younger men and I often look younger than those younger men as well

I’m the same age. Younger men and women say the same to me. Hate to break it to you, but they’re lying. You look youthful, but you don’t look 21.

+1. That PP does not look 21, not even close, and we don't need to be able to look at them to know it.

Was at a birthday dinner the other night for a friend of DH who just turned 60. He has a new wife who is about 40, who insists that he dye his hair, etc. He said "But I don't look 60!" to me, and I said, "Larlo, you do look 60. You are 60. There is nothing wrong with looking it." He got so mad, lol.

[Anonymous]

50 is a weird age for a woman. I don't feel old. I definitely don't look old. (I don't look 25, obviously, but I'm thin and fit and have no wrinkles thanks to good genes and sunscreen.) I can afford nice clothes and good haircuts. But all the men my age on dating apps look 60+. Are they all lying? The 50-something men I know in real life look great. I get a lot of likes from younger guys, but dating 35 year olds is also unappealing.

I honestly don't know whether dating is worth it at this age. I get that there are devices to address sexual needs and I have some great ones, but it's not the same. I miss the kissing and hand holding and all that too. Sigh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:50 is a weird age for a woman. I don't feel old. I definitely don't look old. (I don't look 25, obviously, but I'm thin and fit and have no wrinkles thanks to good genes and sunscreen.) I can afford nice clothes and good haircuts. But all the men my age on dating apps look 60+. Are they all lying? The 50-something men I know in real life look great. I get a lot of likes from younger guys, but dating 35 year olds is also unappealing.

I honestly don't know whether dating is worth it at this age. I get that there are devices to address sexual needs and I have some great ones, but it's not the same. I miss the kissing and hand holding and all that too. Sigh.

Yes.