No good deed goes unpunished

[Anonymous]

This is a great example of having healthy boundaries in a helping field. If you can't/won't do it for everyone, don't do it for one person.

Also people in her situation have learned to rely on or even seek out these kinds of people, and lots of them are looking to get something for free rather than really needing it.

[Anonymous]

A year ago it looked like I was about to come into a large amount of money. Nothing shady, a reputable company wanted to purchase an inherited asset from which I had received income for almsot 20 years, and I signed a purchase agreement.

I ran into an elderly Black man on the street. He had ended up a thousand miles from home as a result of going on a road trip with other people who abandoned him when he reached his destination and stopped answering phone calls. He had his wallet and ID but no money. I got him a motel room at a decent motel, paid for a bus ticket home, and a little extra cash for food. The clerk was very helpful--her husband was a trucker who had done the same thing once for someone else, and she even set him up for a late check out so he could sleep late as he had spent a cold night outside the night before.

A month later it turned out there was a cloud on the title for the asset (having to do with a 1951 deed of which my FIL had had a copy, while it turned out a woman in Texas whose deceased father had the same initials and last name had the ORIGINAL deed) and the sale did not go through (and deed has not transferred to the Texas party, I still get tax statements).

I have no regrets.

People at the very bottom of the rung help each other out, no surprise she passed the word.

[Anonymous]

SO 4 kids had a roof for a week and you're annoyed because 4 other people wanted in on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SO 4 kids had a roof for a week and you're annoyed because 4 other people wanted in on it.

I think you’re reading this wrong. It’s like if you gave your neighbor permission to pick fruit from your tree and then they turn around and tell the whole neighborhood about the tree. Eventually that tree will be bare. Just because you give a gift to a person does not mean you can gift to everyone even if you wanted to. The other option here was to let a woman with 4 kids stay outside.

[Anonymous]

OP you have a great heart but guess what? They're so many people out here and ready to take FULL advantage of it. It's really getting hard to help true people in need this days....sorry but true...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's a guy who always sits on a bucket at the intersection near my office. A coworker once took him some food and she returned to work covered in the drink with a fat lip. The guy threw it at her and screamed "my sign says any amount will help not I need food, you dumb c*nt!"

I think about that incident all the time when I see someone asking for help.

Why do you think about that particular incident all the time? Can I tell you about the time I gave a lady half my sandwich and she about fell all over herself calling me an angel? Maybe you’ll not paint everyone asking for help with the same broad brush.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a guy who always sits on a bucket at the intersection near my office. A coworker once took him some food and she returned to work covered in the drink with a fat lip. The guy threw it at her and screamed "my sign says any amount will help not I need food, you dumb c*nt!"

I think about that incident all the time when I see someone asking for help.

Why do you think about that particular incident all the time? Can I tell you about the time I gave a lady half my sandwich and she about fell all over herself calling me an angel? Maybe you’ll not paint everyone asking for help with the same broad brush.

DP. Asks for cash are to support drugs or drinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SO 4 kids had a roof for a week and you're annoyed because 4 other people wanted in on it.

I think you’re reading this wrong. It’s like if you gave your neighbor permission to pick fruit from your tree and then they turn around and tell the whole neighborhood about the tree. Eventually that tree will be bare. Just because you give a gift to a person does not mean you can gift to everyone even if you wanted to. The other option here was to let a woman with 4 kids stay outside.

There are people that won't see a problem with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a guy who always sits on a bucket at the intersection near my office. A coworker once took him some food and she returned to work covered in the drink with a fat lip. The guy threw it at her and screamed "my sign says any amount will help not I need food, you dumb c*nt!"

I think about that incident all the time when I see someone asking for help.

Why do you think about that particular incident all the time? Can I tell you about the time I gave a lady half my sandwich and she about fell all over herself calling me an angel? Maybe you’ll not paint everyone asking for help with the same broad brush.

DP

...or maybe you can?

The broad bush I would paint them with is 'people in need who should access PUBLIC resources and not expect handouts from individuals'. I donate to public resources. I view it as a personal risk to interact with individuals who may have mental health issues and behave unpredictably.

I am a lot softer on children and the elderly though....I might give then a sandwich or water.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, that’s your complaint.
Just say “No” if you don’t want to and thank God you are not homeless and/or mentally ill.

Because saying no to a homeless person with possible mental issues is always easy, pleasant, and well received.

I do it all the time.

[Anonymous]

Op, the lady lacks common sense, but you are slightly traumatic. There are other ways to volunteer and help where you don't have to have contact with people you help.

[Anonymous]

You learned to spend your money funding professional shelter growth, not making your own poorly run amateur shelter program.

[Anonymous]

Are used to feel guilty about passing anyone who was asking for $ on the streets. This is before I went through public health program and realized really the best option is to donate money to a charity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, that’s your complaint.
Just say “No” if you don’t want to and thank God you are not homeless and/or mentally ill.

Because saying no to a homeless person with possible mental issues is always easy, pleasant, and well received.

I do it all the time.

Do you want a biscuit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is what happens when individuals interfere in a social services system that is well funded and managed. In DC at least, there are SO many resources for street homeless people, bit they have to do things like not shoot up in shared housing or fight people. Often they don't adhere to the basic rules. You also could have had a huge hotel bill on your hands for damages that she could have caused. In the future, provide referrals to social services agencies. Don't open your own wallet.

Now you know OP.