No good deed goes unpunished

[Anonymous]

I volunteer at a soup kitchen occasionally. Most people who come through are men. Last week we had a woman with 4 kids ages 1 through 5 come in. She had nowhere to go afterwards and the shelter was full. Out of kindness I got her an inexpensive room ($250) for the week to get them off the streets for a bit and so she could start getting paperwork in. Yesterday 4 people at the soup kitchen asked me for money for a room. This lady told people at this motel that I paid for her room and where to find me. I am not going to volunteer for a while and have learned my lesson about being nice.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Quite dramatic to call it a "punishment"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I volunteer at a soup kitchen occasionally. Most people who come through are men. Last week we had a woman with 4 kids ages 1 through 5 come in. She had nowhere to go afterwards and the shelter was full. Out of kindness I got her an inexpensive room ($250) for the week to get them off the streets for a bit and so she could start getting paperwork in. Yesterday 4 people at the soup kitchen asked me for money for a room. This lady told people at this motel that I paid for her room and where to find me. I am not going to volunteer for a while and have learned my lesson about being nice.

This is actually a valuable lesson, OP. And very true. Your heart was in the right place, but this is what happens. Unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

Did you ask her not to share that information? You've learned a lesson that any such gifts must be conditional on preserving your anonymity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you ask her not to share that information? You've learned a lesson that any such gifts must be conditional on preserving your anonymity.

I didn’t specifically ask but she knew I am not personally a charity and I said I could do it once for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quite dramatic to call it a "punishment"

Of course it a punishment. I don’t have $1k to drop on helping people and I wish I did. I feel hurt that I can’t help them and they’re hurting too because they have nowhere safe to go. All around it’s bad.

[Anonymous]

There's a guy who always sits on a bucket at the intersection near my office. A coworker once took him some food and she returned to work covered in the drink with a fat lip. The guy threw it at her and screamed "my sign says any amount will help not I need food, you dumb c*nt!"

I think about that incident all the time when I see someone asking for help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's a guy who always sits on a bucket at the intersection near my office. A coworker once took him some food and she returned to work covered in the drink with a fat lip. The guy threw it at her and screamed "my sign says any amount will help not I need food, you dumb c*nt!"

I think about that incident all the time when I see someone asking for help.

A lot of these people are on the streets because of mental health issues. I give them a wide berth.

[Anonymous]

Seriously, that’s your complaint.
Just say “No” if you don’t want to and thank God you are not homeless and/or mentally ill.

[Anonymous]

This is what happens when individuals interfere in a social services system that is well funded and managed. In DC at least, there are SO many resources for street homeless people, bit they have to do things like not shoot up in shared housing or fight people. Often they don't adhere to the basic rules. You also could have had a huge hotel bill on your hands for damages that she could have caused. In the future, provide referrals to social services agencies. Don't open your own wallet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is what happens when individuals interfere in a social services system that is well funded and managed. In DC at least, there are SO many resources for street homeless people, bit they have to do things like not shoot up in shared housing or fight people. Often they don't adhere to the basic rules. You also could have had a huge hotel bill on your hands for damages that she could have caused. In the future, provide referrals to social services agencies. Don't open your own wallet.

+1000

[Anonymous]

So desperate people asking you to help them is somehow punishment to you?

Yeah, probably better if you stay away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, that’s your complaint.
Just say “No” if you don’t want to and thank God you are not homeless and/or mentally ill.

Because saying no to a homeless person with possible mental issues is always easy, pleasant, and well received.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quite dramatic to call it a "punishment"

It’s an applicable colloquial saying, PP.
But you know this.