Tomorrow was supposed to be my wedding day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is such a blessing in disguise. I wanted to call off my wedding and did not. The marriage was horrible. I got trapped geographically with an unplanned pregnancy and ended up staying a decade. Divorced and can’t have a real do-over. I shortchanged myself at finding a meaningful martial relationship. Mid 40s now and mine more miserable years of coparenting to go.

You can have a real love still. Better than an unfulfilling marriage and divorce later.

Virtual hugs! I’m sorry you had to go through that.

I’m starting to think love may not be for me. It took me awhile to even open myself up to the possibility of dating post divorce and that didn’t end well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He’s probably gay

Most straight guys don’t date, much less propose to, women they aren’t attracted to. Women do that. Men don’t.

You dodged a bullet.

But it still sucks and I’m sorry

I didn’t even think about that possibility. You might be onto something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Who is out the deposits? Did you give the ring back? Are your friends and relatives supportive?

I'm sorry, OP. You are wise to look at what really matters, which is that you don't want to be stuck with this man.

We both are. I still have the ring. Friends have reached out. I haven’t been up for chatting so I’ve just been texting that I’m okay!

I think he should pay you back for the deposits. You relied on his promise to marry you. He should be the one to pay for the deposits.

Don’t give the ring back yet! Maybe you can sell it. Depends on the state whether you have to give it back. Tell me your state and I will research it for you

I’m in Maryland. It would be nice if I could sell it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Who is out the deposits? Did you give the ring back? Are your friends and relatives supportive?

I'm sorry, OP. You are wise to look at what really matters, which is that you don't want to be stuck with this man.

We both are. I still have the ring. Friends have reached out. I haven’t been up for chatting so I’ve just been texting that I’m okay!

I think he should pay you back for the deposits. You relied on his promise to marry you. He should be the one to pay for the deposits.

Don’t give the ring back yet! Maybe you can sell it. Depends on the state whether you have to give it back. Tell me your state and I will research it for you

+1. Do not give the ring back especially if he isn’t reimbursing you 100%.

[Anonymous]

You should not be out any money - if you put down any money or owe any money, make him pay for it. And keep the ring.

Sending you hugs.

As someone said on a different thread: "Oh, look, the trash took itself out!"

He's trash, pure trash.

[Anonymous]

Big hugs. I know it doesn't seem this way now but you will be better off. Do something nice for yourself this weekend, and lean on those friends who have been reaching out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Listened to a podcast by Oprah and Jamie Kern Lima about her book called Worthy. She has a great poem in there. The line that stuck with me is that her “creator hid her value from [insert person] because that person wasn’t assigned to her destiny.”

OP I know you feel unworthy and rejected but your ex was not assigned to your destiny. You will go on to do bigger and better things with bigger and better people. Good luck.

This is absolutely beautiful and I hope it brings you some comfort, OP. There are lots of DCUM readers out there wishing you lots of love tonight.

[Anonymous]

I hope that if you are up to it, your friends take you out to celebrate the day you dodged a huge bullet. What a jerk he is. I'm sure you're awesome and wish you every happiness.

[Anonymous]

Sending you lots of good vibes and peace.

[Anonymous]

He’s cheating.

I’m sorry OP. It is so painful. But being married to him would have been SO MUCH WORSE.

I had a good friend who ended an engagement. It was months before the wedding, and while he knew it was the right call, he felt awful he’d hurt this woman he cared for. It took a few years for both of them, but they are both married to other people and really happy. It’s so much better to never go through with it.

Hoping you find peace.

[Anonymous]

I'm so, so sorry, OP. I've been there. It sucks. My ex-fiancee called off the wedding maybe 4 weeks before our wedding. It was going to be a small ceremony in a place special to us so there wasn't much to undo, but its still hurt like hell. On what was supposed to be my wedding day, my best friend took me on a crazy long road trip. We had no firm destination but there was plenty to stop at along the way as my mood and sense of adventure dictated. It was nice and distracting from thinking too hard about what I had been planning. A year or so later I sold my engagement ring to some internet pawn shop that offered a good price. I sobbed the entire way to the post office but then used the money to take a trip to someplace really fun.

It's been 18 years and I am very happily married now with two awesome kids so I have no regrets about how everyting turned out. Every once in a while I'll catch sight of the date and think, "Oh yeah! This was supposed to be my wedding day. Huh." Grieve as long as you need to, but know that healing, peace and love can come. Hugs to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He’s cheating.

I’m sorry OP. It is so painful. But being married to him would have been SO MUCH WORSE.

I had a good friend who ended an engagement. It was months before the wedding, and while he knew it was the right call, he felt awful he’d hurt this woman he cared for. It took a few years for both of them, but they are both married to other people and really happy. It’s so much better to never go through with it.

Hoping you find peace.

You are such a jerk, PP. There was no reason to say it when OP already feels horrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Who is out the deposits? Did you give the ring back? Are your friends and relatives supportive?

I'm sorry, OP. You are wise to look at what really matters, which is that you don't want to be stuck with this man.

We both are. I still have the ring. Friends have reached out. I haven’t been up for chatting so I’ve just been texting that I’m okay!

I think he should pay you back for the deposits. You relied on his promise to marry you. He should be the one to pay for the deposits.

Don’t give the ring back yet! Maybe you can sell it. Depends on the state whether you have to give it back. Tell me your state and I will research it for you

I’m in Maryland. It would be nice if I could sell it.

She does not regardless of state, particularly as he backed out. However, she won't get much at all for it, everyone thinks they will get even what they paid for it, but, no. Diamonds are rip offs. But, OP,sell it regardless- through a local broker or Worthy. It's still $$ and you won't have to look at it.
Now, yes, go after him for the deposits, the dress, everything. Even if you have to go to court. He waited too long.

Next, he probably isn't gay. He likely started some crush on a coworker or something, and feels trapped. It's all fantasy in his head, a result of the impending wedding date and, boy did he do you a favor. You don't know it now, but you will.

Sell the ring. Get the $$ back, even if you have to go to court. Happy life, OP.

[Anonymous]

Sending you virtual hugs.

[Anonymous]

I think this is the title of a Kitty Wells song.