Friend stopped responding

[Anonymous]

Maybe you two should have an actual conversation not by text?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
How do you know she read your texts?

DP. Some people leave notifications on. So when they read a text it shows that they did and when. I always turn it off.

This isn't a certainty. If the app is still open, it may mark as read without the message actually being read.

Not that anyone owes you a same-day response, however typical that may be for you.

[Anonymous]

OP you’re seriously overthinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your friendship can't weather one of you needing to say "can't chat now. Going into. Meeting" without the other getting pissy and passive aggressive, it's not a healthy friendship. Hope you're overthinking it.

+1 it sounds like you did nothing wrong. You’re not responsible for whatever she’s feeling. You’ve done everything you can to kindly and supportively reconnect so I would just let it go for now.

Both of these PPs. She is happy for you and sad for herself. She is having a mini meltdown.

I think no matter how close anyone is, the general feeling is that you want your friends to succeed, but not more than you. Have you been commiserating about your jobs, and now you got a great one?

Whatever the case, you can't lessen your success, or not do a great job, because you're worried about her feelings.

She is having a mini meltdown?

How old are you people?

You obviously have low EQ. Friend, who normally response immediately and often, suddenly stops responding, though is reading the texts. She is having issues with jealousy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
How do you know she read your texts?

DP. Some people leave notifications on. So when they read a text it shows that they did and when. I always turn it off.

This isn't a certainty. If the app is still open, it may mark as read without the message actually being read.

Not that anyone owes you a same-day response, however typical that may be for you.

I have never seen this happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your friendship can't weather one of you needing to say "can't chat now. Going into. Meeting" without the other getting pissy and passive aggressive, it's not a healthy friendship. Hope you're overthinking it.

+1 it sounds like you did nothing wrong. You’re not responsible for whatever she’s feeling. You’ve done everything you can to kindly and supportively reconnect so I would just let it go for now.

Both of these PPs. She is happy for you and sad for herself. She is having a mini meltdown.

I think no matter how close anyone is, the general feeling is that you want your friends to succeed, but not more than you. Have you been commiserating about your jobs, and now you got a great one?

Whatever the case, you can't lessen your success, or not do a great job, because you're worried about her feelings.

She is having a mini meltdown?

How old are you people?

You obviously have low EQ. Friend, who normally response immediately and often, suddenly stops responding, though is reading the texts. She is having issues with jealousy.

But how old are they?

Op just sounds codependent with her friend. And probably has some sort of anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your friendship can't weather one of you needing to say "can't chat now. Going into. Meeting" without the other getting pissy and passive aggressive, it's not a healthy friendship. Hope you're overthinking it.

+1 it sounds like you did nothing wrong. You’re not responsible for whatever she’s feeling. You’ve done everything you can to kindly and supportively reconnect so I would just let it go for now.

Both of these PPs. She is happy for you and sad for herself. She is having a mini meltdown.

I think no matter how close anyone is, the general feeling is that you want your friends to succeed, but not more than you. Have you been commiserating about your jobs, and now you got a great one?

Whatever the case, you can't lessen your success, or not do a great job, because you're worried about her feelings.

She is having a mini meltdown?

How old are you people?

You obviously have low EQ. Friend, who normally response immediately and often, suddenly stops responding, though is reading the texts. She is having issues with jealousy.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your friendship can't weather one of you needing to say "can't chat now. Going into. Meeting" without the other getting pissy and passive aggressive, it's not a healthy friendship. Hope you're overthinking it.

+1 it sounds like you did nothing wrong. You’re not responsible for whatever she’s feeling. You’ve done everything you can to kindly and supportively reconnect so I would just let it go for now.

Both of these PPs. She is happy for you and sad for herself. She is having a mini meltdown.

I think no matter how close anyone is, the general feeling is that you want your friends to succeed, but not more than you. Have you been commiserating about your jobs, and now you got a great one?

Whatever the case, you can't lessen your success, or not do a great job, because you're worried about her feelings.

She is having a mini meltdown?

How old are you people?

You obviously have low EQ. Friend, who normally response immediately and often, suddenly stops responding, though is reading the texts. She is having issues with jealousy.

But how old are they?

Op just sounds codependent with her friend. And probably has some sort of anxiety.

Got it. I thought you were asking how old the respondents were. Agreed, OP and her friend sound young. I would guess they have been commiserating over how hard it is starting out, then OP got a great job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your friendship can't weather one of you needing to say "can't chat now. Going into. Meeting" without the other getting pissy and passive aggressive, it's not a healthy friendship. Hope you're overthinking it.

+1 it sounds like you did nothing wrong. You’re not responsible for whatever she’s feeling. You’ve done everything you can to kindly and supportively reconnect so I would just let it go for now.

Both of these PPs. She is happy for you and sad for herself. She is having a mini meltdown.

I think no matter how close anyone is, the general feeling is that you want your friends to succeed, but not more than you. Have you been commiserating about your jobs, and now you got a great one?

Whatever the case, you can't lessen your success, or not do a great job, because you're worried about her feelings.

She is having a mini meltdown?

How old are you people?

You obviously have low EQ. Friend, who normally response immediately and often, suddenly stops responding, though is reading the texts. She is having issues with jealousy.

But how old are they?

Op just sounds codependent with her friend. And probably has some sort of anxiety.

Got it. I thought you were asking how old the respondents were. Agreed, OP and her friend sound young. I would guess they have been commiserating over how hard it is starting out, then OP got a great job.

I feel like there’s some sock puppet ting going on.

But also, I’m guessing 22.

[Anonymous]

Odd that people are being so hard on OP. Today’s pattern of conversation over text between OP and her friend was clearly not the norm for them. I don’t necessarily think it’s true that OP is overthinking it. These snippy responses like she’s “not entitled to a response”…geez.

It’s very possible that OP’s new job has brought up some negative feelings in her friend, but that is not at all within OP’s control. OP, knowing your friend, is her reaction a surprise?

[Anonymous]

And of course it’s possible that she’s busy - I don’t mean to rule that out.

[Anonymous]

If OP‘s friend is jealous for the new opportunity (I can’t tell, only OP would know if she’s the type), then this isn’t a friend worth having. It would be so immature and petty to begrudge OP her new job, and I wouldn't trust a friend like that. Maybe see if she responds (she could have been legitimately busy), and if OP gets a bad vibe from her, I would downgrade her to acquaintance status and not tell her personal stuff anymore. Sad that grown women act like this. OP - I hope that’s not the case, but if it is, you now know her true colors.

[Anonymous]

This is OP. I know she read the messages because we use a service that has read receipts, which we both enable.

I know this might sound immature but we are actually in our thirties and, yes, genuinely busy, but this pattern of not responding is not the norm for either of us.

She and her family have been having a tough time due to location (she is a trailing spouse) and she’s currently in school to try to find more opportunities. So jealousy is possible but it wasn’t something I expected. I think she might have been put off by how quickly I jumped off (but I really did have to go).

This kind of codependent/passive aggressive dynamic is also not normal for our friendship! (I’m referring to us both.)

I’ll try not to worry about it, but it’s a little disappointing. Thanks for the perspectives.

[Anonymous]

Maybe the new opportunity she told you about fell through, & she’s sad about it…so she’s putting off responding & telling you.

[Anonymous]

She might just be feeling a little bit sensitive right now, for whatever reason. But again, you really did nothing wrong, and if she did get offended at how quickly you had to get off the phone, that’s her issue, not yours - and hopefully she would give you some grace, geez!! I’d give her some space, and maybe check in next week. If she still doesn’t respond, then I would try to let go and build new connections (painful as it is).