I never thought I'd feel so old in mid 40s - anyone else?

[Anonymous]

We all face a mid life crisis but to varying degrees. Our bodies don’t recover as quickly from sports, our careers may be peaking lower than we had hoped, our parents may have illnesses, our marriages may be running in neutral…..the list goes on. Some experience all of that, others some and a few lucky ones none. The key is to learn how to deal with it starting with eating healthier and getting fitter and working on your marriage as they are both controllable. You may well become an empty nester in a few years and that can be the best of times or the worst of times so make sure it’s the best.

[Anonymous]

I’m 67 and I’m in a great place relative to so many people my age. I certainly have aches and pains I didn’t have 20 years ago but I have all my original body parts, my original husband and an active sex life. I stay very active and that keeps my brain going.

[Anonymous]

I dont feel like this at all (physically) and im 54. I still look very good. Dont have any pains either...so far.
However i get what you are saying about elderly parents etc.
I think we need to take it day by day. Thinking about the future makes me feel anxious.

Im going to organize something fun to do with friends. Having a few young friends is really fun too - although my most fun and outgoing friend is 66, so there you go!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean I realized that mid 40s wasn't young, but i never realized that it would be a time of figuring out what retirement and end of life looks like, and that it is actually not uncommon for people to get sick and die at this age (and also that everything starts hurting).

I think what gets me the most is you go from young 'I'm going to live forever' of your 20s to 30s (too busy having babies and keeping them alive) to suddenly being expected to synthesize that life for you, your peers and parents could theoretically end any day; absorb the info, live accordingly BUT continue to parent and work as if none of that was the case.

Does this make sense? Anyone else feel this?

How old are your kids?

[Anonymous]

Yes OP! We just finished having kids and bought our first home a couple years ago (35/40ish). Now I'm already thinking the "starter home" idea was a bad one because it's a TH with no way to live on the first floor, but prices have gone so crazy we may not be able to upgrade like we were planning, so what do we do in retirement?! I feel like we just made it to the "middle" part of life and I'm not ready to start thinking about the end yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s when I started getting injured doing seemingly simple workouts…, or just sleeping.

I pulled a muscle in my back by my shoulder blade simply by tossing a used kleenex in the trash can. It took a month to heal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This means you need to take care of yourself, OP.

I'm your age and don't feel old at all, even though I have a chronic disease. It's all about getting tested for prediabetes, checking your cholesterol and blood pressure, eating clean and exercising/stretching thoughtfully (no mindless jogging that will wear your joints out). Get your mammograms, pap smears, etc. Take vitamin D - in the northern hemisphere, everyone is low on vitamin D. Or go ahead and take a full multi-vitamin. To slow skin aging, use sunscreen and retinol, if you can tolerate it.

Perimenopause might be doing a number on your mental health. There are certain days when I feel sluggish and imagine I look awful, even though I'm actually perfectly fine. Tracking your cycles with an app may help you identify if your mood synchronizes with certain moments of your cycle. A cycle tracker is useful during peri, when cycles go out of whack. Some people swear by hormone replacement therapy, others can't due to family history of cancer/blood clots.

DP, I’m the same age and do most of this, and still feel like OP. I already use HRT as well.

[Anonymous]

I’m 48. Haven’t felt much of any physical decline at all. But the dealing with declining elderly parents can really take it out of you mentally.

[Anonymous]

I'll be 55 in a few months and I feel GREAT! I have tons of fun and lots of good friends. I've always been physically fit. I can't run anymore (hip), but I cycle a ton and lift weights. I feel like you should work out when you are young because it pays off when you get older. I can't imagine having to get in shape at this age. My life is richer today than when I was in my 30s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes OP! We just finished having kids and bought our first home a couple years ago (35/40ish). Now I'm already thinking the "starter home" idea was a bad one because it's a TH with no way to live on the first floor, but prices have gone so crazy we may not be able to upgrade like we were planning, so what do we do in retirement?! I feel like we just made it to the "middle" part of life and I'm not ready to start thinking about the end yet.

actually, you are doing great. You really should start down sizing by 50. Just stay in that TH. You are rightly sized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dont feel like this at all (physically) and im 54. I still look very good. Dont have any pains either...so far.
However i get what you are saying about elderly parents etc.
I think we need to take it day by day. Thinking about the future makes me feel anxious.

Im going to organize something fun to do with friends. Having a few young friends is really fun too - although my most fun and outgoing friend is 66, so there you go!

Same. AT 45 I still felt incredibly young. 54 has been a game changer---still feel very young (avid exerciser my whole life, no ache pains)--but everyone around me is looking older (so I know I must too : and the deaths of parents and disease/cancers in people my age are increasing rapidly. That and I'm almost empty nest.

I think part of the reason I also felt young at 45 was because I still had a 7-year old so was doing all the elementary school stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dont feel like this at all (physically) and im 54. I still look very good. Dont have any pains either...so far.
However i get what you are saying about elderly parents etc.
I think we need to take it day by day. Thinking about the future makes me feel anxious.

Im going to organize something fun to do with friends. Having a few young friends is really fun too - although my most fun and outgoing friend is 66, so there you go!

Same. AT 45 I still felt incredibly young. 54 has been a game changer---still feel very young (avid exerciser my whole life, no ache pains)--but everyone around me is looking older (so I know I must too : and the deaths of parents and disease/cancers in people my age are increasing rapidly. That and I'm almost empty nest.

I think part of the reason I also felt young at 45 was because I still had a 7-year old so was doing all the elementary school stuff.

There are always these women. I have an almost 50 year old friend that claims that mammograms never bother her - she didn’t feel a thing! And migraines - just take an advil! Easy peasy!

[Anonymous]

I am mid 40s and I feel great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dont feel like this at all (physically) and im 54. I still look very good. Dont have any pains either...so far.
However i get what you are saying about elderly parents etc.
I think we need to take it day by day. Thinking about the future makes me feel anxious.

Im going to organize something fun to do with friends. Having a few young friends is really fun too - although my most fun and outgoing friend is 66, so there you go!

Sounds like I am your friend! I've never had a migraine and I'm 45.

Same. AT 45 I still felt incredibly young. 54 has been a game changer---still feel very young (avid exerciser my whole life, no ache pains)--but everyone around me is looking older (so I know I must too : and the deaths of parents and disease/cancers in people my age are increasing rapidly. That and I'm almost empty nest.

I think part of the reason I also felt young at 45 was because I still had a 7-year old so was doing all the elementary school stuff.

There are always these women. I have an almost 50 year old friend that claims that mammograms never bother her - she didn’t feel a thing! And migraines - just take an advil! Easy peasy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dont feel like this at all (physically) and im 54. I still look very good. Dont have any pains either...so far.
However i get what you are saying about elderly parents etc.
I think we need to take it day by day. Thinking about the future makes me feel anxious.

Im going to organize something fun to do with friends. Having a few young friends is really fun too - although my most fun and outgoing friend is 66, so there you go!

Same. AT 45 I still felt incredibly young. 54 has been a game changer---still feel very young (avid exerciser my whole life, no ache pains)--but everyone around me is looking older (so I know I must too : and the deaths of parents and disease/cancers in people my age are increasing rapidly. That and I'm almost empty nest.

I think part of the reason I also felt young at 45 was because I still had a 7-year old so was doing all the elementary school stuff.

No, it’s most likely because of your genetics.