How long is the honeymoon period of 3 generation household?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What happens if you have a dinner party or book club for your friends? Are they invited to everything? Or if yiu want to go on an outing with just your kids? Or order food they dont like for dinner?

If we have a dinner at home, we tell them ahead of time they're welcome to join us. We will let whoever we're inviting know. They may join us, or may choose to go out to eat or to another relative's home for dinner. If we have book club, well, they're not in my book club so they wouldn't join. We have gone on outtings with the kids and it's no problem. We let each other know if we won't be home for dinner - they've gone out to try a few new restaurants since moving here. We all can find something we like to eat.

Are you all a very outgoing, social bunch? I am tired just reading this. I wouldn't want to always be touching base with people about plans.

I think they just sound like a family. Maybe with 3 generations, but they are acting pretty much like our family with just one generation acts/behaves.

Good for you OP. I wish this was more accepted in this society. I think everyone wins.

I don't think it's not accepted. It's really hard to relate for me though. My in-laws would drive me insane even for just a day.

[Anonymous]

60s!? Yikes. You are going to be living with them for decades. Hope you like communal living.

[Anonymous]

OP, there is no amount of time. The factors are:

Personalities of everyone
Mental health of Everyone
Boundaries
Everyone having an active social life that doesn't just involve eachother
Physical Health
Cognitive decline
Emotional decline

Even if your inlaws develop serious health issues, if they adjust well and are grateful for your help and support and reasonable with expectations it can go smoothly.

The issues come with unrealistic expectations, terrible behavior, major decline, refusing outside caregivers, frequent falls, delusions, outbursts, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:60s!? Yikes. You are going to be living with them for decades. Hope you like communal living.

I was thinking that too. I'm 66, DH is 68, kids are relatively young. no way am i going to impose myself on them now. there's no reason

[Anonymous]

It can work out. We have neighbors who are a three generation household for at least since we moved in 9 years ago. The wife seems less stressed than I am because she has her parents pitching in to help. They have a separate small back house so I think that is ideal

[Anonymous]

It sounds like a lot of togetherness. Too much for my taste, but I’m glad it’s working out for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like a lot of togetherness. Too much for my taste, but I’m glad it’s working out for you.

+1 I love my parents and they are easy going people. They visit for a month out of the year and it feels like a lot at the end, especially now that they are older and cannot do as much to help out or I feel bad asking since they are older and tired. So it's really more like having four kids in some ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It can work out. We have neighbors who are a three generation household for at least since we moved in 9 years ago. The wife seems less stressed than I am because she has her parents pitching in to help. They have a separate small back house so I think that is ideal

This would be perfect.

[Anonymous]

Living with in-laws is never a good situation no matter how well you get along. Please consider the pros and cons to see if it is worth living with them(financially and emotionally). As an Asian DIL, I thought it was expected and accepted it. But after 15 years of living with my in-laws, I couldn't find MY home, a safe haven where I could be me.

[Anonymous]

Wow. More power to you, OP and family!

None of us in the family would be able to handle that much closeness long-term.

Much respect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like a lot of togetherness. Too much for my taste, but I’m glad it’s working out for you.

Glad it works for your family. I love my parents and I love my in-laws but none of us would want that much togetherness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What happens if you have a dinner party or book club for your friends? Are they invited to everything? Or if yiu want to go on an outing with just your kids? Or order food they dont like for dinner?

If we have a dinner at home, we tell them ahead of time they're welcome to join us. We will let whoever we're inviting know. They may join us, or may choose to go out to eat or to another relative's home for dinner. If we have book club, well, they're not in my book club so they wouldn't join. We have gone on outtings with the kids and it's no problem. We let each other know if we won't be home for dinner - they've gone out to try a few new restaurants since moving here. We all can find something we like to eat.

Are you all a very outgoing, social bunch? I am tired just reading this. I wouldn't want to always be touching base with people about plans.

Me too! If we have another couple or two over for an evening I wouldn't want to have my ILs or my own parents hanging out every damn time. me personally I could never have my ILS or my parents living in the same house as us. I'm an introvert and value my privacy too much.

[Anonymous]

I love this for your family! This is ideal.

[Anonymous]

It sounds wonderful. I’m so glad for your family.

[Anonymous]

My parents moved in with my sister and brother in law and it worked well for about 5 years before it started falling apart, mainly because my mom got sick and the dynamics changed a lot. My parents had a nice bedroom, living room and kitchenette in the basement but they were a bit more independent than the OP (didn’t eat meals daily all together). They originally moved in to be closer to us kids and help with my sister’s kids, but once they were in elementary and spending full days at school and activities they got a bit bored.

Regardless, my mom got sick and needed treatment which threw everyone for a loop, and they ended up moving out and getting their own apartment since my mom needed more care, and it didn't work having them at my sister’s anymore.