I don't have time for this.

[Anonymous]

Who can she call if she really needs something?

[Anonymous]

It's ok to only be available for a certain block of time -- but -- she has to be cared for by someone, somewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shouldn't she be in an assisted living place?

This. Is she living alone? This does not sound safe. Can she hire a helper?

She is in independent living, we had her evaluated by the facility for assisted and they said she wasn’t quite there yet. She doesn’t really cook - just makes cold sandwiches etc.

[Anonymous]

She needs to be in a memory care facility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shouldn't she be in an assisted living place?

This. Is she living alone? This does not sound safe. Can she hire a helper?

She is in independent living, we had her evaluated by the facility for assisted and they said she wasn’t quite there yet. She doesn’t really cook - just makes cold sandwiches etc.

She cannot be alone every day. What if she falls?

[Anonymous]

If she is in independent living the block her calls during the day. Does she go eat meals in the dining room?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shouldn't she be in an assisted living place?

This. Is she living alone? This does not sound safe. Can she hire a helper?

She is in independent living, we had her evaluated by the facility for assisted and they said she wasn’t quite there yet. She doesn’t really cook - just makes cold sandwiches etc.

Unplug the stove if it’s electric. Better safe than sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shouldn't she be in an assisted living place?

This. Is she living alone? This does not sound safe. Can she hire a helper?

She is in independent living, we had her evaluated by the facility for assisted and they said she wasn’t quite there yet. She doesn’t really cook - just makes cold sandwiches etc.

She's there now. Have her evaluated again, by a new facility if necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She should be in memory care. The food and transport are provided. You can hire an aide to go to doctor's appointments with her if needed. It will get worse and worse and could destroy sibling relationships. You cannot compare this to caring for grandchildren. She has very complex needs that will get greater.

This is more than talking on the phone, OP. This is not a safe situation for her. She needs a HHA or to move into a facility. Alzheimer's gets worse, not better.

+1. Get on this before your second sister burns out and it's all on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also think you should work with her to learn Alexa or Google Home. They can send texts and A text will be less interruptive than a call. And she can use it to set reminders, add things to a shopping list, and more. You don’t want to block your mom. That’s a blow torch solution for a scissor problem.

Spoken like someone who hasn’t had a parent with ALZ or dementia. There is NO learning new things. It’s the slow withering of already acquired skills and trying to implement anything new that they themselves are responsible for will fail.
The OP’s mom needs to be in memory care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also think you should work with her to learn Alexa or Google Home. They can send texts and A text will be less interruptive than a call. And she can use it to set reminders, add things to a shopping list, and more. You don’t want to block your mom. That’s a blow torch solution for a scissor problem.

Spoken like someone who hasn’t had a parent with ALZ or dementia. There is NO learning new things. It’s the slow withering of already acquired skills and trying to implement anything new that they themselves are responsible for will fail.
The OP’s mom needs to be in memory care.

NP - She may not need memory care yet but she definitely needs AL. Your mom is not safe in independent living and yes, you have to continue taking her calls until you get her into a safe living environment. She’s calling incessantly bc she needs help functioning in daily life - help your local sibling might’ve been providing before she checked out. It’s time to move her to higher care, especially w the only local sibling moving 800 miles away. I also agree w unplugging oven, microwave, toaster etc. trust me on this, my parent almost burned down the AL w one of those appliances.

[Anonymous]

This is like that really sad folk song cats in the cradle but reversed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God I hope my kids turn out better.

I hope you planned better. Your elder care is not their responsibility, it's yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God I hope my kids turn out better.

I hope you planned better. Your elder care is not their responsibility, it's yours.

One could also say that about childcare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She needs to be in a memory care facility.

Memory care is like a prison.