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Preschool and Daycare Discussion
"Baby not ready for daycare"
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Anonymous
| My DS1 started daycare at 6 months. He insisted on being carried by a teacher all the time and cried a lot for 2 weeks. They never said he wasn't ready, but they did critique my parenting- "Do you hold him all the time?" He adjusted and ended up LOVING his teachers and he satyed at that center for 3 more years and we sent his younger sibs there too. It's just a hard transition from home to daycare from some kids. |
Anonymous
| My coworker's 6 month old started a home daycare and cried all day long. The daycare provider called the mom at work after about two weeks back at work and demanded the mom come pick up the baby and not bring her back. |
Anonymous
And this is my fear. What do you do about it? How do you "prepare" a baby for the fact that you are going to leave him all day long with a complete stranger in an environment that he isn't used to (i.e. lots of other kids)? |
Anonymous
| I would look for a new provider... |
Anonymous
| Some children just are not "daycare kids," no matter how much you want it to work. You and your husband may want to look into doing part time work so you don't have to put your baby into care. |
Anonymous
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I would look for a new provider. This one is not going to work. Any baby is going to be unhappy with a new situation like you have describe and will take time to warm up.
If this situation had been going on for a month or so, then I think the provider would be on to something but after a few hours! |
Anonymous
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I don't know if I agree with PP's advice, but I'll offer a possible solution - Hire a nanny.
For us, having a nanny from infancy through 2 was perfect. Then, when they became more social, we did the hybrid - preschool and nanny combo.
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Anonymous
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We recently had a similar experience and agree that you need to find a new provider.
DD started at a home daycare at 3.5 months old. The provider began mentioning that she was crying a lot and disrupting and upsetting the other children. We cut back on the hours to try to help with the transition. Less than two weeks in the provider said it wasn't working out, she'd never had to do this before, and suggested one on one care. We were surprised that an experienced provider wasn't able (willing?) to work with us or a baby having a hard time with the transition. Even as new parents we knew not to expect it to be completely smooth from day 1, but it was obvious that the provider had given up on DD. DD did get one on one care for six weeks from different visiting relatives while we looked into other options, including nannies. She finally got off of the waitlist at our first choice daycare center and started there at 5 months old. The transition has been smooth! While I know DD is 6 weeks older and sitting up and able to take in more of what goes on around her, I think that the new teachers have made the difference. They've had nothing but good things to say about DD even though she is still adjusting to her surroundings and not sleeping much for them. I think it helps that she's in a class with all infants, so the teachers aren't trying to work with DD around toddler schedules, and they're accustomed to the ups and downs of daily life with infants. Good luck! It's very stressful but will work out eventually and you'll find the right fit for your family. |
Anonymous
| I would consider a different provider. My son started daycare at 3 months, and has always liked going there - he is happy to see his teachers when we drop him off in the morning, and they seem genuinely happy to see him. If your child is that unhappy there, maybe there is something about the environment that just isn't right. |
Anonymous
I think it depends on the age of the baby. My son started day care before stranger fear set in, so I don't think he thought about it that way, and he seemed interested in the new environment. Now that he is older, I shudder to think of how he will react to the change to the toddler room, though. I think he's going to be really upset. |
Anonymous
This is my worry. We could afford a nannyshare, but a nanny alone is not in our budget right now. When I was pregnant I used to say that I was more stressed about finding childcare than I was about experiencing labor. So far, that worry has been realized! |
Anonymous
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I kid you not, I had a child come in here years ago. He was 9 mo when he started, well aware of strangers. He was only cared for by family and those who held him all the time. For ONE month straight that baby cried. No matter if I held him, rocked, fed, sang, lay him down for naptime, nothing. Neighbors would tease me asking what was going on. And I would keep the windows closed so nobody could hear it.
I was just getting ready to talk to the mom and tell her it just wasnt working out. I wasnt concerned for my sanity, the neighbors, or even the other kids, because it really didnt seem to bother them. They would try to come and comfort him. I only cared about what he was feeling. Funny though, because I didnt even get a chance to say a thing. he literally stopped overnight. I guess he figured he was *stuck* with us all like it or not. LOL My belief, having been home with family alone who held him all the time was a big diference from being the only one, not being able to be held all the time, etc. is what was making him upset. I ended up keeping him from the age of 9 mo until he was in 4th grade, at which point they moved. I got his younger sibling in care at one pint, and didnt have any problem with him. Total difference over the years. I still try to hang in there for a full month before making that decision however like someone else said, not all kids are cut out for group daycare, whether it be in a center or in home. |
Anonymous
Exactly. |
Anonymous
| Our provider did the same thing with a 5mth old baby. After a trial of two days, she told his parents that she couldn't handle him. And when our son started crawling and generally being more "work", she started complaining about him. Fearing she would throw him out, we looked for a new place. I am learning that daycare providers can pick and chose--they have that luxury so for them, it makes sense to pick and chose the 'easier' kids. When conducting interviews or checking references, ask the other parents if they know of such situations happening. It might not be your kid at all. It just might be they aren't willing to do the work. |
Anonymous
While there are some super sensitive children that may not be a good fit for daycare, I think that is rare and also may be indicative of a sensitivity issue generally. It does not sound as if the daycare provide in question spent enough time with this child to make such a judgment. Suggesting to the OP that her best option may be for her and her husband to change their careers to avoid any need for childcare is extreme and could add significant stress to their family, timewise, careerwise and financially. I think that is a rather extreme suggestion given the limited evidence the daycare provider had before making this pronouncement. |