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How can posters ask questions about their academically advanced kids without being criticized?
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Anonymous
I agree with you to a point. Some very smart or gifted kids do not learn to read until first or even second grade. On the flip side, I doubt that kids with average or below average IQs are the ones learning to read at age 3. Just my opinion though. |
Anonymous
| They can't because they all come across as parents who think their kids are the only ones that are doing some of these things. This is a highly educated area and you have a lot of really smart kids who compared to many other parts of the country are really smart. I see this all the time. The parents who come into my DS school and think their kid is so much better than everyone else's at school, sports etc. Sure enough, they see that in most cases, their kid is pretty much the same as everyone else's. |
Anonymous
| I think there is a difference between academically advanced and being a genius. If you truly think you have a genius on your hands, then that is a legitimate question because, hell, I would have to do a lot of research on how to truly help a child genius succeed socially, emotionally, and intellectually. If you have a really smart kid, then I think you basically do whatever the heck you've been doing, but assume that in this area, good private schools and public schools see a lot of really smart kids and that they can handle your kid without a lot of needling from the parents. |
Anonymous
| Why does the OP care if there is criticism? |
Anonymous
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I agree with prior posters that the thing that causes the negative reaction in this type of post is the seeming assumption that someone's bright child is somehow so unique that K teachers would be hard pressed to know what to do on the child's behalf!! Can any mother actually believe that because their precious snowflake can read a chapter book, add and subtract, and so forth, that K teachers will be completely baffled and curricula will have to be completely rewritten??? As others have said, social, physical, and emotional components of K are also very, very important in addition to intellectual plus in an area with the income and gene pool of DC ... bright children are everywhere ... private and public.
So without offering an example of how to ask the question, I think offering some sense that the above is known and true would help. But then one probably wouldn't ask the question in the first place, which is why such posters tend to get negative responses. |
Anonymous
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I don't think it's possible. The question SAM2 has posed in and of itself is based on an assumption that the posters are asking questions in a way that deserves criticism and if they just asked it differently people wouldn't criticize.
The heart of the issue is that people are insecure about this issue. People associate giftedness with elitism. It doesn't matter how it's asked the insecure people will lash out. I was unhappy (but not surprised) that a poster recommended parents deprecating themselves or children in an effort to avoid hostility. If you think about it that's just sad. |
Anonymous
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"I've got a four-year-old who seems fairly advanced academically (adding, subtracting, reading a lot), and I'm wondering whether private schools will have a challenging curriculum at younger grades to keep him from being bored. Can anyone offer some advice?"
As far as I know, there are really only two options. Public school or private school. Is there some super secret third option - I don't know about. I'm not trying to flame here but it seems like the only reason you posted was to anonymously tell people on an anonymous board that your anonymous kid is really smart. The funny thing is that you have long preamble asking people not to criticize you anonymously. What's up with that? |
Anonymous
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I agree that the faux humility advice was sad/depressing on a lot of levels, but I don't think that it's always insecurity that leads to the negative reactions to these kids of post. Too often, on DCUM you see this claim that people resent or don't believe in/understand/respect giftedness when, in fact, you're dealing with disagreements about what constitutes giftedness and what educational institutions should do with it.
I think acceleration is a really bad model. And I wonder why more parents don't think about this before K -- e.g. why teach your preschoolers everything they'll be taught in K when there are so many other and more interesting things you can teach them? (I recognize that some kids learn to read and to add and subtract (and more) without being taught -- but those are the kids for whom boredom/lack of challenge in the classroom isn't likely to be a big issue -- they're inquisitive self-starters -- and we're in an environment where there are lots of good schools and lots of familiarity with high-achievers.) |
Anonymous
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"I'm not trying to flame here but it seems like the only reason you posted was to anonymously tell people on an anonymous board that your anonymous kid is really smart. "
Ditto. |
Anonymous
Psst, the super-secret option is homeschooling. I worked hard to make sure my DC never heard of it, LOL! |
Anonymous
While I appreciate that your heart is in the right place some of your beliefs are based on longstanding "myths" of gifted students and education. http://www.nagc.org/index.aspx?id=569 Myth: Gifted students don’t need help; they’ll do fine on their own Truth: Would you send a star athlete to train for the Olympics without a coach? Gifted students need guidance from well-trained teachers who challenge and support them in order to fully develop their abilities. Many gifted students may be so far ahead of their same-age peers that they know more than half of the grade-level curriculum before the school year begins. Their resulting boredom and frustration can lead to low achievement, despondency, or unhealthy work habits. The role of the teacher is crucial for spotting and nurturing talents in school. Click here for more Myth: Teachers challenge all the students, so gifted kids will be fine in the regular classroom Truth: Although teachers try to challenge all students they are frequently unfamiliar with the needs of gifted children and do not know how to best serve them in the classroom. The National Research Center on Gifted and Talented (NRC/GT) found that 61% of classroom teachers had no training in teaching highly able students, limiting the challenging educational opportunities offered to advanced learners.[1] A more recent national study conducted by the Fordham Institute found that 58% of teachers have received no professional development focused on teaching academically advanced students in the past few years. Taken together, these reports confirm what many families have known: not all teachers are able to recognize and support gifted learners. Click here for more Myth: Gifted students make everyone else in the Class smarter by providing a role model or a challenge Truth: In reality, average or below-average students do not look to the gifted students in the class as role models. They are more likely to model their behavior on those who have similar capabilities and are coping well in school. Seeing a student at a similar performance level succeed motivates students because it adds to their own sense of ability. Watching or relying on someone who is expected to succeed does little to increase a struggling student’s sense of self-confidence. [2] Similarly, gifted students benefit from classroom interactions with peers at similar performance levels. Click here for more Myth: All Children are Gifted Truth: While all children are special and deserving, not all children have exceptional academic gifts that require additional or different support in school. Interestingly, most people readily accept that there are gifted children in performing arts or athletics whose talents are so far above those of others their age that they require additional or different training or coaching. It is important to understand that these same characteristics and differences apply to academically gifted students who need support and guidance to reach their full potential. Click here for more Myth: Acceleration placement options are socially harmful for gifted students Truth: Academically gifted students often feel bored or out of place with their age peers and naturally gravitate towards older students who are more similar as “intellectual peers.” Studies have shown that many students are happier with older students who share their interest than they are with children the same age.[3] Therefore, acceleration placement options such as early entrance to Kindergarten, grade skipping, or early exit should be considered for these students. Click here for more Myth: Gifted education programs are elitist Truth: Gifted education is not about status, it is about meeting student needs. Advanced learners are found in all cultures, ethnic backgrounds, and socioeconomic groups. However, not every school district offers services for gifted students, even though there are gifted students in every district. Because of a lack of state and federal financial support, only affluent districts in many states can afford to offer gifted education programs and services, which leaves many gifted students behind. Click here for more Myth: That student can’t be gifted; he’s receiving poor grades Truth: Underachievement describes a discrepancy between a student’s performance and his actual ability. The roots of this problem differ, based on each child’s experiences. Gifted students may become bored or frustrated in an unchallenging classroom situation causing them to lose interest, learn bad study habits, or distrust the school environment. Other students may mask their abilities to try to fit in socially with their same-age peers. No matter the cause, it is imperative that a caring and perceptive adult help gifted learners break the cycle of underachievement in order to achieve their full potential. See ERIC digests on underachievement in gifted boys; underachievement of minority students. Click here for more Myth: Gifted students are happy, popular, and well adjusted in school Truth: Many gifted students flourish in their community and school environment. However, some gifted children differ in terms of their emotional and moral intensity, sensitivity to expectations and feelings, perfectionism, and deep concerns about societal problems. Others do not share interests with their classmates, resulting in isolation or being labeled unfavorably as a “nerd.” Because of these difficulties, the school experience is one to be endured rather than celebrated. It is estimated that 20 to 25% of gifted children have social and emotional difficulties, about twice as many as in the general population of students. [4] Click here for more Myth: This child can’t be gifted, he Has a Disability Truth: Some gifted students also have learning or other disabilities. These “twice-exceptional” students often go undetected in regular classrooms because their disability and gifts mask each other, making them appear “average.” Other twice-exceptional students are identified as having a learning disability and as a result, are not considered for gifted services. In both cases, it is important to focus on the students’ abilities and allow them to have challenging curricula in addition to receiving help for their learning disability. [5] Click here for more Myth: Our district has a gifted and talented program: We have AP courses Truth: While AP classes offer rigorous, advanced coursework, they are not a gifted education program. The AP program is designed as college-level classes taught by high school teachers for students willing to work hard. The program is limited in its service to gifted and talented students in two major areas: First AP is limited by the subjects offered, which in most districts is only a small handful. Second it is limited in that, typically, it is offered only in high school and is generally available only for 11th and 12th grade students. Coupled with the one-size-fits all approach of textbooks and extensive reading lists, the limitations of AP coursework mean that districts must offer additional curriculum options to be considered as having gifted and talented services. Click here for more Myth: gifted education Requires Abundant Resources Truth: While, over time, developing an effective and comprehensive gifted education program may be costly and require talented, well-qualified professionals, an abundance of resources is not necessary to begin offering gifted education services. A belief that gifted students require something different from the regular curriculum, followed by hard-work and commitment from community and district personnel, are the most critical components in designing and implementing successful gifted education programs and services. Click here for more Continue to an in-depth look at the first myth Return to the Know Your Information main page. Return to Myths About GIfted Education Homepage Return to the Advocacy Toolkit main page. [1] Archambault, F. S., Westberg, K. L., Brown, S. W., Hallmark, B. W., Emmons, C. L., & Zhang, W. (1993). Regular classroom practices with gifted students: Results of a national survey of classroom teachers (#93102). Storrs, CT: the National Research Center on the Gifted and Talented. [2] Fiedler, E.D., Lange, R. E., Winebrenner, S. (1993). In search of reality: Unraveling the myths about tracking, ability grouping, and the gifted. Roper Review, (16), 4-7. [3] Colangelo, N., Assouline, S. G., & Gross, M.U.M. (2004). A nation deceived: How schools hold back America's brightest students. Iowa City: University of Iowa. [4] Winner, E. (1996). Gifted children: myths and realities. New York: Basic Books. [5] Olenchak. F. R., & Reis, S. M. (2002) Gifted students with learning disabilities. In M. Neihart, S. M. Reis, N. Robinson, and S. Moon (Eds.), The Social and Emotional Development of Gifted Children (pp. 177-192). Waco TX: Prufrock Press. |
Anonymous
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Thank you 11:35. It's funny because the assumption on DCUM is that someone who posts about their kid is bragging, pushing their kid too much, raising a socially inept child or will be a PITA to the teachers. Maybe, just maybe, the parent simply wants feedback from other parents in the same boat.
I am the original poster on the quoted thread and I realize there are tons of kids who are doing this already which is why I posted the question. My kid has a different learning style which I noticed early on. My kid has also been ignored in preschool b/c the teacher said she didn't have the resources to provide any additional support. I was fine with that because we did so much at home. I don't restrict outdoor time, monkey bars, cartoons or video games, just have a normal kid who likes to learn. Why parents assume someone else's ability is a slight against them is beyond me. |
Anonymous
| 12:42 I think that one problem with posts like yours, about how a school will handle a child being advanced, is that who among us can begin to answer how his/her kindergarten teacher will respond to your child. So for me at least I'm not following the point of seeking input on that here. Plus I think parents who expect additional support when their child is advanced in pre-school or kindergarten should reconsider that expectation. This is group teaching, not private tutoring. You will do what parents of all advanced children do, support them with outside instruction, lessons and activities. |
Anonymous
You should look into the Feynman School. It's a school for advanced learners (preK - 8). It's in MoCo but they offer transportation. |
Anonymous
The smiley face was supposed to be "8th grade". 
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