Cousins

[Anonymous]

My kids have one, but we haven’t seen her in over 10 years. They are sad about it, but we’ve tried to make family out of friends.

[Anonymous]

Is there any use in wishing something that cannot ever happen? There are many things I wish I could have had—like a warm loving family of origin—but it just was not in the cards.

[Anonymous]

Our kids have 24 cousins. They have so much fun together, despite growing up in different cities. Our extended family is pretty close, so we try to find several times a year to see each other and spend time together. Grateful for that.

[Anonymous]

They argue, fight and annoy each other and then when it's time to leave they get sad and ask when they can see each other again

[Anonymous]

My (young adult) kids have no first cousins but plenty of second and even third cousins that they know well. I hope those remain lifelong relationships.

[Anonymous]

Nope. Maybe in a few years. My sister doesn’t have kids yet but is leaning towards having one. DHs sister is much younger so probably won’t have kids for another 10 years, if at all.

[Anonymous]

My kids have 13 but if you ask them they would say 2. 2 are close in age and they talk or text even though they live far away. The others are 15-20 years older and they don’t know them since they never lived near them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid has zero. I have about twenty and don’t know any of them. One lives a mile away.

I have twenty also and have never known any of them very well. The 14 of them who lived near me growing up were all much older than me and my siblings and we didn’t see them much. Our families were very different.
Most of them could walk through my front door right now and I would have no idea who they are.

[Anonymous]

My kids have two who live 1.5 hours away but they’re younger by 3-6 years which has made a huge difference in they never seem to be at the same stage to want to play together. My sister actually has tried repeatedly to use my kids as her free babysitter whenever they’re together and her kids have severe behavioral issues (one is very violent) and no child should be “in charge” of them and they always need adult supervision for safety reasons. Hence now my kids avoid them at all costs.

I had 10 growing up and I was in the middle. Most of us got along and I saw about 5 of them frequently. I currently keep in touch with 1 first cousin and 2 second cousins, otherwise I just exchange pleasantries over the holidays with the rest.

[Anonymous]

Our kids have 24 cousins. They have so much fun together, despite growing up in different cities. Our extended family is pretty close, so we try to find several times a year to see each other and spend time together. Grateful for that.

Same. Most cousins closest in age are second cousins, but still very close. We spend every holiday and one week each summer together.

[Anonymous]

My kids have 1 cousin who is almost 21, and my kids are in elementary school. They adore each other but it’s almost more an uncle/nephews type of relationship.

I grew up barely knowing the four cousins I have who were also significantly older than I am, and have not seen them in adulthood.

[Anonymous]

My kids were in high school when my sister started having kids, so there’s a big age gap. They have some step cousins closer in age, but we live across the country from them and they’re not close. All were in middle and high school when the family blended, and it’s hard to force teens to blend with extended family when they’re basically strangers. They get along, but don’t really know each other.

I have a lot of cousins. We were close as kids but took very different paths as adults. I am part of a text thread with one cousin and my sister, but if my sister didn’t keep it going I wouldn’t miss it. There aren’t bad feelings, we just have busy lives and nothing in common, along with an age gap and 2500 miles distance between us. It’s pleasant but superficial.

[Anonymous]

5, but the ones in their age range are across the country and the one on this coast is an infant (mine are 13 and 9). I had 5 but they were all 10+ years older than me and 15+ years older than my sibling. And 2 lived on the opposite coast. Unless the cousins live nearby and are similarly aged, I don’t think anyone is missing out on anything.

[Anonymous]

My kids have 6 cousins but are only close to/ close in age with two. I have 55 between both sides of my family. Was close to around half growing up (never met a few) but only close to about two handfuls now. On one side of my family, we all look like variations of our shared grandmother. So i think I can pick out that side in a lineup, even the ones I haven’t met or haven’t seen in decades.

[Anonymous]

My kid has 3. She's good friends with the 2 on my side of the family and they love her. She tries to be friend with the 1 on DH's side of the family, but that one is always unfriendly to her/jealous of the occasional weekend that she has to share the grandparents. I grew up with a lot more cousins, the core group of them I'm still close with. I think my DD is happy with the cousins she has but has always wished for a sibling and more cousins. We do have lifelong friends whose kids are also like cousins to her, so that has been good too.