9 year old daughter is petite

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:9 year old daughter is 54” and 62 pounds. She is feeling really down on herself because all of her friends are so much bigger than her. Her own sister (19 months younger) is only 2” shorter and 4 pounds lighter than her. Her brother is 3 years old and 45” and 45 pounds.

What can I say to help her? She actually eats the best out of my 3 kids. I just think genetics aren’t on her side. She takes after the women on DHs side and they are all very short. DH is 5’10” and I am 5’7”. The other two kids take after my side of the family height wise and will most likely be much taller than oldest child.

My same-aged DD is smaller, my DH is taller than yours, I’m an inch shorter than you, and I’m not playing psychic and determining that she’ll always be the smallest. Why are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP this is your problem.
You are literally making a mountain out of nothing.
Stop.
Get some parenting classes.
Your kid now has a complex that you made.

Often said on this website but actually true in this instance.

[Anonymous]

Third or fourth grade? I'm assuming fourth, because 54" is very average for third grade girls. Some fourth graders (and a few third graders) are starting to get pre-puberty growth rate increases, so they're shooting up faster than other kids. We all know about the big puberty growth spurt that happens before girls get their periods, but even before physical signs of puberty start, there is usually a slight acceleration in growth rate. So girls that haven't hit that stage yet will temporarily get proportionately shorter than their friends who have, since those friends are starting to grow faster. But it's temporary and everyone gets there eventually. And there's nothing she can do to develop faster, so it sounds like some education for both of you would help. There are lots of excellent websites and books on development and starting puberty.

[Anonymous]

I was barely on the growth chart as a kid and am now a 5’1” petite adult. I love being petite. Occasionally I’d get a nickname about being small, but no one really ever made fun of me or anything. I was a gymnast for many years so it was a benefit if anything. There are plenty of men who love petite women. She will be just fine even if she doesn’t grow tall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was barely on the growth chart as a kid and am now a 5’1” petite adult. I love being petite. Occasionally I’d get a nickname about being small, but no one really ever made fun of me or anything. I was a gymnast for many years so it was a benefit if anything. There are plenty of men who love petite women. She will be just fine even if she doesn’t grow tall.

Me too. I've always been petite and it's never going to change. It's astonishing how many people think it appropriate to comment on others' height, or lack thereof. I had this jerk coworker who would CONSTANTLY comment on how "short" I was. I finally told her "yeah well, good things come in small packages!" ever so breezily and that shut her up.

[Anonymous]

Huh? My son is about the same height, a few more pounds.

I'm pretty sure the doctor said he is 50th percentile.

Some kids are taller, some are shorter at school. He does not stand out.

You are an extremely lucky person, OP, if this is one of your biggest areas of stress.

[Anonymous]

I'm a 42 year old woman and I'm 4ft 11in. It will be fine, it just is what it is. Every body is different. I'd probably rather be a petite woman than a woman over 6 feet tall - at least that's what I tell myself.

[Anonymous]

My daughter and I are both short. I hated it, because I loved basketball, and still am annoyed by not being able to reach things. My daughter is an adult and not quite five feet, and she doesn’t seem to mind. I get that your kid doesn’t like it. What you have to do is to try to shut down comments about it among your children, because we don’t remark on other people and their appearance. You will have to build up your daughter’s self-esteem by emphasizing her personal strengths, whatever they are. She might benefit from family moments of gratitude, where everyone looks for something positive to say regularly at dinner. She might benefit from talking with you about her genetic predisposition and how you understand her feelings, but in the larger scheme of things, how tall you are doesn’t matter at all about your personal worth. It may stink for her, and you can acknowledge that feeling, but it is what it is. Be sympathetic, let her talk about it if she wants, reframe, and move on. And do not allow her siblings to tease her. It’s a sad fact that personal appearance is so emphasized in our society, and she can learn to identify that and try not to buy into it, which is not easy. Have her practice some canned responses if people do comment.

[Anonymous]

My 12 year old is about 56-57 inches tall and 74 lbs. she was in the 10-15th percentiles for height and weight at her last check up.
Get a grip.

[Anonymous]

I think my 9 year old weighs 45 lbs. I am not really sure what the issue is. She knows she is on the smaller side but it doesn't make a difference to her or me. In my case, she only has two older brothers - not a younger sister who will be bigger than her soon. But I just say things like good things come in small packages and her size is great. A larger size would barely make a difference except for some rare amusement park rides at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:9 year old daughter is 54” and 62 pounds. She is feeling really down on herself because all of her friends are so much bigger than her. Her own sister (19 months younger) is only 2” shorter and 4 pounds lighter than her. Her brother is 3 years old and 45” and 45 pounds.

What can I say to help her? She actually eats the best out of my 3 kids. I just think genetics aren’t on her side. She takes after the women on DHs side and they are all very short. DH is 5’10” and I am 5’7”. The other two kids take after my side of the family height wise and will most likely be much taller than oldest child.

That's about the size of my 10 yo / 5th grader. I'm actually not sure if she's hit 54" yet, but she's close. It does stink that she's short, especially in sports like basketball and swimming. I'm crossing my fingers that she spurts soon, as many girls do in 5th grade.

[Anonymous]

Nothing wrong with being petite OP.

Also, height at that age really is NOT always predictive. My older DD was always very short (25th percentile or so)- is now 15 and 5’6” and may still grow a bit more. Very late bloomer. Many of the taller girls in elementary stopped growing quite early and are short-average, other tall girls have indeed ended up super tall. You never know how they will grow.

Nothing you can do about this- as long as ped is not worried, you shouldn’t be either.

[Anonymous]

Just a counterpoint that it's tough for kids this age to be outside of the normal range in general. My healthy and happy 10 y/o DD is around 59" now, and has always been at the tip top of the growth charts and a head taller than all of the girls (and most of the boys). Short or tall, kids on the ends of the ranges will get some comments about their height, and the best thing you can do as a parent is to speak positively about it and build their confidence and sense of self. My DD has some friends that are on the shorter side of the charts and look like peanuts standing next to my child. But they all embrace their differences and can joke about it. Sometimes mine says she wishes she was shorter "like everyone else," but knows that there is no "like everyone else" because everyone is unique and still growing and changing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:9 year old daughter is 54” and 62 pounds. She is feeling really down on herself because all of her friends are so much bigger than her. Her own sister (19 months younger) is only 2” shorter and 4 pounds lighter than her. Her brother is 3 years old and 45” and 45 pounds.

What can I say to help her? She actually eats the best out of my 3 kids. I just think genetics aren’t on her side. She takes after the women on DHs side and they are all very short. DH is 5’10” and I am 5’7”. The other two kids take after my side of the family height wise and will most likely be much taller than oldest child.

Your daughter is already taller than me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:9 year old daughter is 54” and 62 pounds. She is feeling really down on herself because all of her friends are so much bigger than her. Her own sister (19 months younger) is only 2” shorter and 4 pounds lighter than her. Her brother is 3 years old and 45” and 45 pounds.

What can I say to help her? She actually eats the best out of my 3 kids. I just think genetics aren’t on her side. She takes after the women on DHs side and they are all very short. DH is 5’10” and I am 5’7”. The other two kids take after my side of the family height wise and will most likely be much taller than oldest child.

That's about the size of my 10 yo / 5th grader. I'm actually not sure if she's hit 54" yet, but she's close. It does stink that she's short, especially in sports like basketball and swimming. I'm crossing my fingers that she spurts soon, as many girls do in 5th grade.

That's average not short. Speaking as a short woman 5'1 inches I would love to have been 5'4! Count your blessings not your shortcomings