Deciding to mommy track

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you do this then I sincerely hope you get fired. We don’t pay taxes to subsidize a wannabe SAHM.

WTF?

There’s mommy track and there IDGAF, OP is proposing the second.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously considering mommy tracking as a compromise to full time SAHM.

One DD, considering a second in the next year. DH would be thrilled if I decided to be a SAHM and pursue a vanity degree for kicks.I enjoy taking care of my family. I don’t have expensive hobbies. I’m happiest when doing the traditional homemaker kinds of things. The family is most efficient when that’s what I’m focused on. DH is a solid partner, puts in equal effort around division of labor.

Anyone decided to do this? I work for a public sector employer and could easily just….show up to work, do the bare minimum….and keep my job until retirement. Just lean all the way out. I’m senior enough and in a niche role that I could just be left alone.

House is paid off. We’ll have zero debt by the end of this year. We’re comfortable but not wealthy.

At what point did you decide to mommy track? Aside from money, why did you do that rather than SAHM?

I went for SAHM in a similar position and it was the biggest mistake of my life. 1 child had medical issues so having more time to go to appointments relieved a lot of stress. When they were better I had DC 2. A few years later, DH had a midlife crisis, a work based affair and left. His AP wanted to be a SAHM and the divorce was expensive and brutal, trying to cut me out as much as possible.

I would have been far better off having mommy tracked with a bit of FML than trying to rebuild while traumatized and with no $ coming in for a time. You just never know what may happen. I had a LOT of savings when I stepped away but it can go fast.

I'd try mommy tracking or a few years of PT if you can, keep some ability to ramp up if needed. Get plenty of disability insurance and life insurance for both of you.

DH did not come from a divorced family and people were shocked, sometimes things happen you did not see coming. If not an affair can be an accident or injury that prevents working in the same career.

Good luck with your decision.

[Anonymous]

Life is stressful now because having young kids is hard while trying to work. But you will likely get bored and to be honest, working moms will get bored with you. I remember I took a mommy track job that I loved - I could be all in for my 8sh hours at work but could completely shut off when I got home. I found the moms of my DD's classmates who didn't work at all to be dull and sort of annoying - always striving to find ways to be important in an elementary school because they didn't have a career. You don't want to be like that.

[Anonymous]

Yeah I left law firm for gov. Not quite mommy tracked bc it’s still stressful and I have a lot of responsibility. But easier to take snow days off and things like that. DH in finance and works a LOT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously considering mommy tracking as a compromise to full time SAHM.

One DD, considering a second in the next year. DH would be thrilled if I decided to be a SAHM and pursue a vanity degree for kicks.I enjoy taking care of my family. I don’t have expensive hobbies. I’m happiest when doing the traditional homemaker kinds of things. The family is most efficient when that’s what I’m focused on. DH is a solid partner, puts in equal effort around division of labor.

Anyone decided to do this? I work for a public sector employer and could easily just….show up to work, do the bare minimum….and keep my job until retirement. Just lean all the way out. I’m senior enough and in a niche role that I could just be left alone.

House is paid off. We’ll have zero debt by the end of this year. We’re comfortable but not wealthy.

At what point did you decide to mommy track? Aside from money, why did you do that rather than SAHM?

house is paid off, you're about to zero out your other debt, and you aren't wealthy? If you live in the DC Area your home is worth somewhere close to, if not more than, a million dollars. maybe you are not in the top 1% but you are doing very very well compared to most other "middle class" people.

[Anonymous]

Similar to you, yes, I am attempting to step down a level or two to a less stressful role.

I am shocked at how children of people in my workplace, including my manager’s children, have turned out. No path after high school. No leadership and management of the home and family. They come to the office and act like a big shot, but the home is a mess.

[Anonymous]

I've done both and I appreciate what each offered me. I wouldn't trade that time off with my kids for the world. But, I did part time with my first and only stayed out for 18 months with my second.

My piece of advice is to really sit down with your husband and talk about that equal division of labor and what it will look like if you are a SAHM. Even in the most loving of relationships, it can easily become "I work all day, you stay home and do all the chores." Especially when the kids are school aged. Then when they come home, you are expected to be on point because you didn't "work" all day, even though you did. Don't play it by ear, talk about it now and get your expectations ironed out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Life is stressful now because having young kids is hard while trying to work. But you will likely get bored and to be honest, working moms will get bored with you. I remember I took a mommy track job that I loved - I could be all in for my 8sh hours at work but could completely shut off when I got home. I found the moms of my DD's classmates who didn't work at all to be dull and sort of annoying - always striving to find ways to be important in an elementary school because they didn't have a career. You don't want to be like that.

This is pretty rude. This area is full of people who think their job (and they) are way more important than the reality. Maybe the SAHM’s are striving to make the elementary school experience special for the kids and to create a sense of community. I for one am very thankful for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you do this then I sincerely hope you get fired. We don’t pay taxes to subsidize a wannabe SAHM.

WTF?

There’s mommy track and there IDGAF, OP is proposing the second.

Nope

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Similar to you, yes, I am attempting to step down a level or two to a less stressful role.

I am shocked at how children of people in my workplace, including my manager’s children, have turned out. No path after high school. No leadership and management of the home and family. They come to the office and act like a big shot, but the home is a mess.

Wow you’ve lived with that many coworkers, wild.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you do this then I sincerely hope you get fired. We don’t pay taxes to subsidize a wannabe SAHM.

WTF?

There’s mommy track and there IDGAF, OP is proposing the second.

Nope

Yep. Basically show up to work and do the bare minimum that won’t get her fired. That is IDGAF.


“I work for a public sector employer and could easily just….show up to work, do the bare minimum….and keep my job until retirement. Just lean all the way out. I’m senior enough and in a niche role that I could just be left alone.”

[Anonymous]

I still care about my job and aim to do it well, but when my kids were 1 and 3 I went from a manager/C-suite-track role to an independent contributory position at a different company (small pay cut) and it’s been a great decision so far. So much easier to manage kids when I’m not managing clients all day and I don’t have to feel responsible for stuff in the same way. I just show up by (remotely) do my job and sign off. I don’t work overtime and since I’m *now* full time WFH and not in meetings, I don’t have to take a full day of PTO every time my kids are sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously considering mommy tracking as a compromise to full time SAHM.

One DD, considering a second in the next year. DH would be thrilled if I decided to be a SAHM and pursue a vanity degree for kicks.I enjoy taking care of my family. I don’t have expensive hobbies. I’m happiest when doing the traditional homemaker kinds of things. The family is most efficient when that’s what I’m focused on. DH is a solid partner, puts in equal effort around division of labor.

Anyone decided to do this? I work for a public sector employer and could easily just….show up to work, do the bare minimum….and keep my job until retirement. Just lean all the way out. I’m senior enough and in a niche role that I could just be left alone.

House is paid off. We’ll have zero debt by the end of this year. We’re comfortable but not wealthy.

At what point did you decide to mommy track? Aside from money, why did you do that rather than SAHM?

You are wealthy, your house is freaking PAID OFF in your 30s, and your DH can afford for you to SAH easily.

Why not quit your easy job, and let someone who actually needs the money, may put a little effort in, and actually really appreciate the steady hours and stability rather than see it as retiring in place?

I’m not sure I’m even understanding the OP. It sounds like she already has to and goes to this job which is sort of a “mommy track” job? If you are showing up at work you might as well do the work. But if you mean you aren’t trying for promotions or working crazy hours that seems perfectly acceptable.

I have what I guess is sort of a mommy track job as a govt attorney in that the job is basically regular hours and offers a good environment and flexibility. I definitely do my job though. It’s a good compromise in that when I’m not at work I am focused on my family and I’ve had the job for a long time so I’m good at it and can be very efficient. It’s not equivalent to being a SAHM though of course.

[Anonymous]

really depends on salary.
For me personally I would not consider stepping back unless the other earner was at least at $500k. If not more. Just knowing what the cost of retirement, taking care of elderly parents who may need many years of live in care, wanting to set my kids up with a nest egg so they can ever buy their own home. you haven't mentioned your partner's salary, but that would be my steer.