Deciding to mommy track

[Anonymous]

Seriously considering mommy tracking as a compromise to full time SAHM.

One DD, considering a second in the next year. DH would be thrilled if I decided to be a SAHM and pursue a vanity degree for kicks.I enjoy taking care of my family. I don’t have expensive hobbies. I’m happiest when doing the traditional homemaker kinds of things. The family is most efficient when that’s what I’m focused on. DH is a solid partner, puts in equal effort around division of labor.

Anyone decided to do this? I work for a public sector employer and could easily just….show up to work, do the bare minimum….and keep my job until retirement. Just lean all the way out. I’m senior enough and in a niche role that I could just be left alone.

House is paid off. We’ll have zero debt by the end of this year. We’re comfortable but not wealthy.

At what point did you decide to mommy track? Aside from money, why did you do that rather than SAHM?

[Anonymous]

I’ve sort of done this but not to the extent you’re describing. I stopped caring so much about my career and instead care more about my family.

Keeping a decent quality job is important to me though so SAHM isn’t on my radar. I wouldn’t feel comfortable relying on one job.
I have quite a few SAHM neighbors though so I see it in action every day. They are happy!

[Anonymous]

I would do it in a second. The reason over SAHM is money, security (life happens - divorce, death, job loss), personal satisfaction/something left for you after kids leave, power dynamic in the marriage, retirement. And it sounds like you don’t want to quit…

[Anonymous]

If you do this then I sincerely hope you get fired. We don’t pay taxes to subsidize a wannabe SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Unless you think you’ll be bored, do it. I switched to a flexible WFH mommy track position from a high stress one. It’s currently similar money but will be lower long-term, and 100% worth it. I will be comfortable here as long as they let me.

SAHM is not for me honestly. I like having a job to do that forces me to use my brain and isn’t toddler time all the time. I do like making money and supporting myself rather than having to rely on DH. I think I’d enjoy being home part-time but there are really limited part-time job opportunities and part-time childcare options, so we didn’t go that route.

[Anonymous]

I did when my kids were little. Leaned back in and got a prestigious position later. I loved the stress free years really focused on my family - but it was really nice to have the option to ramp back up as once the kids got older. I now derive a lot of satisfaction from my job. It’s also nice knowing if anything happens to DH I can fully support our family.

[Anonymous]

I left my job when I had my first because my job didn’t thrill me and my kid did.

Didn’t go back to work until the kids were at college. Had to hustle to get my career going, but I’m a much better worker and more ambitious than I ever was. I’m more successful than I would have been had I just continued with my ho-hum job. How can I know? I can’t, but I’m a fed and I would have parked and stayed at my old agency if I had been continued to work there. Instead, I had a restart from entry level but I and jumped around to a higher position at a better agency than where I was before.

Only you can find that will be best for you and your family.

Sounds like you don’t want to work now and don’t have to. So stay home and go back when you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless you think you’ll be bored, do it. I switched to a flexible WFH mommy track position from a high stress one. It’s currently similar money but will be lower long-term, and 100% worth it. I will be comfortable here as long as they let me.

SAHM is not for me honestly. I like having a job to do that forces me to use my brain and isn’t toddler time all the time. I do like making money and supporting myself rather than having to rely on DH. I think I’d enjoy being home part-time but there are really limited part-time job opportunities and part-time childcare options, so we didn’t go that route.

Agree, but for the stupid part - if you weren’t using your brain when raising your kid, that’s on you. There are plenty of things to do and plan. You just wanted to use your brain in a DIFFERENT, career-oriented way. Nothing wrong with that - did you have to turn it into an insult? You were doing so well but then didn’t use your brain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you do this then I sincerely hope you get fired. We don’t pay taxes to subsidize a wannabe SAHM.

Yikes. 😬

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you think you’ll be bored, do it. I switched to a flexible WFH mommy track position from a high stress one. It’s currently similar money but will be lower long-term, and 100% worth it. I will be comfortable here as long as they let me.

SAHM is not for me honestly. I like having a job to do that forces me to use my brain and isn’t toddler time all the time. I do like making money and supporting myself rather than having to rely on DH. I think I’d enjoy being home part-time but there are really limited part-time job opportunities and part-time childcare options, so we didn’t go that route.

Agree, but for the stupid part - if you weren’t using your brain when raising your kid, that’s on you. There are plenty of things to do and plan. You just wanted to use your brain in a DIFFERENT, career-oriented way. Nothing wrong with that - did you have to turn it into an insult? You were doing so well but then didn’t use your brain.

She might be an astrophysicist. You have no idea. I can guarantee that planning and reflecting on your kids milestones, and studying parenting techniques is stimulating, but not the same kind of stimulating as being, well, an astrophysicist. Seriously.

[Anonymous]

I couldn’t SAH - my husband couldn’t handle the stress of being a sole breadwinner.

I’m overall fine with it. Occasionally I feel the tiniest twinge of jealousy when others get promoted but pretty quickly I remember I’m happier with my choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you think you’ll be bored, do it. I switched to a flexible WFH mommy track position from a high stress one. It’s currently similar money but will be lower long-term, and 100% worth it. I will be comfortable here as long as they let me.

SAHM is not for me honestly. I like having a job to do that forces me to use my brain and isn’t toddler time all the time. I do like making money and supporting myself rather than having to rely on DH. I think I’d enjoy being home part-time but there are really limited part-time job opportunities and part-time childcare options, so we didn’t go that route.

Agree, but for the stupid part - if you weren’t using your brain when raising your kid, that’s on you. There are plenty of things to do and plan. You just wanted to use your brain in a DIFFERENT, career-oriented way. Nothing wrong with that - did you have to turn it into an insult? You were doing so well but then didn’t use your brain.

At first I wrote, “Seriously. You can stay at home but also take classes / read books on the Economist book list / volunteer at any of the historical or cultural institutions in our area / have stimulating intellectual conversations with your partner / whatever you want—yes, during the toddler years you’ll have to seriously burn the midnight oil to do both, but if that what you want, you can do it.”—and then I realized PP’s point is that she doesn’t think she personally can self-motivate to do any of that with regularity, so she wants to be forced to do so via her job. I don’t think insult towards all SAHMs was intended.

[Anonymous]

I had the same question as you (didn’t need to work for money but had an easy job I could just show up and do the bare minimum for). My only hesitation with staying at the job even if I did nothing and left early everyday was that the time at the office still took time away from my kids. I didn’t wanna be at the office, I wanted to be with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you do this then I sincerely hope you get fired. We don’t pay taxes to subsidize a wannabe SAHM.

WTF?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously considering mommy tracking as a compromise to full time SAHM.

One DD, considering a second in the next year. DH would be thrilled if I decided to be a SAHM and pursue a vanity degree for kicks.I enjoy taking care of my family. I don’t have expensive hobbies. I’m happiest when doing the traditional homemaker kinds of things. The family is most efficient when that’s what I’m focused on. DH is a solid partner, puts in equal effort around division of labor.

Anyone decided to do this? I work for a public sector employer and could easily just….show up to work, do the bare minimum….and keep my job until retirement. Just lean all the way out. I’m senior enough and in a niche role that I could just be left alone.

House is paid off. We’ll have zero debt by the end of this year. We’re comfortable but not wealthy.

At what point did you decide to mommy track? Aside from money, why did you do that rather than SAHM?

You are wealthy, your house is freaking PAID OFF in your 30s, and your DH can afford for you to SAH easily.

Why not quit your easy job, and let someone who actually needs the money, may put a little effort in, and actually really appreciate the steady hours and stability rather than see it as retiring in place?