Friend is "hitting" on my husband who's okay with it? Should I be concerned.

[Anonymous]

How is this a “long story short?” I’d hate to hear your actual long story of this. It would rival Lord of the Rings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is this a “long story short?” I’d hate to hear your actual long story of this. It would rival Lord of the Rings.

That shows the level of insecurity OP has.

[Anonymous]

She can do a lot better than hooking up with a neighbor and she knows it. Yes, the texting is a concern and just tell your husband it makes you uneasy. If he respects you he will stop. But, rather than ghosting her he just needs to let it dry up by taking a long time to respond and be somewhat abrupt in his replies. Getting in a gassy fit about it will anger your husband and alienate a neighbor. And please, don’t talk to your friends about her as that will just make it worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you want to control your husband just because of your insecurities? He handed over the phone without prompting so you could see the content of their conversation. He's not hiding anything.

If she was ugly or elderly, would you be OK with it, or are you employing a double standard?

Even if this was just about OP’s “insecurities,” normal people care about their partners’ insecurities and honor their comfort levels. Its so weird to say that you should be able to do whatever you want regardless of how it makes your partner feel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you want to control your husband just because of your insecurities? He handed over the phone without prompting so you could see the content of their conversation. He's not hiding anything.

If she was ugly or elderly, would you be OK with it, or are you employing a double standard?

He’s not hiding anything (yet). It’s understandable why OP is uncomfortable with it, and knowing the way many men react to a good looking woman, yes there is a double standard.

[Anonymous]

Deal with it immediately -- it's already a problem. Men are very vulnerable to pretty young women paying attention to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just tell him you’re not comfortable with it and ask him to stop texting. Even if he doesn’t think it’s a big deal, if he values your feelings, he will stop.

+100 if he respects you he will have no issue with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Long story short: A woman, early 30s, moved into our neighborhood 1.5 years ago. She's not married and rents a small older house. My area is fairly high income and most older houses have been torn down and rebuilt with $2m homes. When she moved in a bunch of us wives became friends with her. She's very nice, works hard (has a career in sales and marketing for a major corporation), and everyone gets along with her.

During the winter break my family (me, husband, one kid) and another family (wife, husband, two kids) and her decided to get away and we rented a house in the Shenandoah. We were there for several days and it was great to relax in the mountains with bonfires and fireplaces, fresh air, the woods, etc. But, I noticed my friend was getting very chummy with my husband. They've known each other since she moved into the neighborhood but they never really interacted much aside from being neighbors.

But, during the trip she started sitting next to him every chance she got. Would offer to help him get wood, clean up, etc. I found them talking more on this trip than the last 1.5 years combined! I admit, in secret, I'm a little jealous of her because she is very pretty. The kind of pretty that when we're out guys turn their heads. She has no issues getting men and regularly dates so I don't get why she's becoming so friendly with a man who's married with a kid! I mean, she can have ANY GUY SHE WANTS for the most part. She looks similar to a young Ali Larter actress.

The reason that's it's an issue for me is because that trip was two weeks ago! And now she's texting my husband. That never happened before this trip! He didn't even have her number. But, now they are texting each other which is just strange to me. I asked my husband what they're talking about and the topics are just normal stuff like weather, work, asking about things around the house. My husband has no issues with it. In fact the other night I asked what she was texting about when she texted and he just handed his phone over to me. I mentioned to him it was odd she was suddenly texting him all the time. He didn't seem to have an issue at all! I mean, really? I told him I didn't like it and she sort of blew me off as if I was making more of it than it was.

We didn't argue or anything, but I'm still thinking about why she's getting so friendly with my husband if not for the fact she's trying to get with him. I asked one of the other wives in our neighborhood and she said maybe they just became friends over the trip. Sure, that's fine. But, normally single women don't text married men. At least that's how I look at it. And sorry but I don't like a pretty little young thing texting my husband. This will really bug me and it will bug me even more if my husband keeps thinking it's not a big deal.

I've bolded the parts of your post that make you look desperate and judgmental. You are not friends with this woman. You looked down on her since she moved in because she's not married and lives in a smaller, older house than you. You openly resent her youth and beauty. Why on earth did you invite her on vacation with your family?

[Anonymous]

Your weekend away was 2 weeks ago. How many and how often are the text exchanges? Everyday? Too much. Twice? I would keep an eye on it. Is your husband willing to add you and make it a group text?

[Anonymous]

I agree with you I would feel the same.

Why did you tell us about the housing costs etc? Or what she does for a living?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Long story short: A woman, early 30s, moved into our neighborhood 1.5 years ago. She's not married and rents a small older house. My area is fairly high income and most older houses have been torn down and rebuilt with $2m homes. When she moved in a bunch of us wives became friends with her. She's very nice, works hard (has a career in sales and marketing for a major corporation), and everyone gets along with her.

During the winter break my family (me, husband, one kid) and another family (wife, husband, two kids) and her decided to get away and we rented a house in the Shenandoah. We were there for several days and it was great to relax in the mountains with bonfires and fireplaces, fresh air, the woods, etc. But, I noticed my friend was getting very chummy with my husband. They've known each other since she moved into the neighborhood but they never really interacted much aside from being neighbors.

But, during the trip she started sitting next to him every chance she got. Would offer to help him get wood, clean up, etc. I found them talking more on this trip than the last 1.5 years combined! I admit, in secret, I'm a little jealous of her because she is very pretty. The kind of pretty that when we're out guys turn their heads. She has no issues getting men and regularly dates so I don't get why she's becoming so friendly with a man who's married with a kid! I mean, she can have ANY GUY SHE WANTS for the most part. She looks similar to a young Ali Larter actress.

The reason that's it's an issue for me is because that trip was two weeks ago! And now she's texting my husband. That never happened before this trip! He didn't even have her number. But, now they are texting each other which is just strange to me. I asked my husband what they're talking about and the topics are just normal stuff like weather, work, asking about things around the house. My husband has no issues with it. In fact the other night I asked what she was texting about when she texted and he just handed his phone over to me. I mentioned to him it was odd she was suddenly texting him all the time. He didn't seem to have an issue at all! I mean, really? I told him I didn't like it and she sort of blew me off as if I was making more of it than it was.

We didn't argue or anything, but I'm still thinking about why she's getting so friendly with my husband if not for the fact she's trying to get with him. I asked one of the other wives in our neighborhood and she said maybe they just became friends over the trip. Sure, that's fine. But, normally single women don't text married men. At least that's how I look at it. And sorry but I don't like a pretty little young thing texting my husband. This will really bug me and it will bug me even more if my husband keeps thinking it's not a big deal.

Petty jealousy is ugly AF. He gave you the phone. There's nothing to it. Get over yourself because you're the problem, OP. Gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your weekend away was 2 weeks ago. How many and how often are the text exchanges? Everyday? Too much. Twice? I would keep an eye on it. Is your husband willing to add you and make it a group text?

A grown man doesn't need a text chaperone. OP is either secure enough to trust him or not. And she's not. She's a petty jealous harpy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you I would feel the same.

Why did you tell us about the housing costs etc? Or what she does for a living?

Jealousy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short: A woman, early 30s, moved into our neighborhood 1.5 years ago. She's not married and rents a small older house. My area is fairly high income and most older houses have been torn down and rebuilt with $2m homes. When she moved in a bunch of us wives became friends with her. She's very nice, works hard (has a career in sales and marketing for a major corporation), and everyone gets along with her.

During the winter break my family (me, husband, one kid) and another family (wife, husband, two kids) and her decided to get away and we rented a house in the Shenandoah. We were there for several days and it was great to relax in the mountains with bonfires and fireplaces, fresh air, the woods, etc. But, I noticed my friend was getting very chummy with my husband. They've known each other since she moved into the neighborhood but they never really interacted much aside from being neighbors.

But, during the trip she started sitting next to him every chance she got. Would offer to help him get wood, clean up, etc. I found them talking more on this trip than the last 1.5 years combined! I admit, in secret, I'm a little jealous of her because she is very pretty. The kind of pretty that when we're out guys turn their heads. She has no issues getting men and regularly dates so I don't get why she's becoming so friendly with a man who's married with a kid! I mean, she can have ANY GUY SHE WANTS for the most part. She looks similar to a young Ali Larter actress.

The reason that's it's an issue for me is because that trip was two weeks ago! And now she's texting my husband. That never happened before this trip! He didn't even have her number. But, now they are texting each other which is just strange to me. I asked my husband what they're talking about and the topics are just normal stuff like weather, work, asking about things around the house. My husband has no issues with it. In fact the other night I asked what she was texting about when she texted and he just handed his phone over to me. I mentioned to him it was odd she was suddenly texting him all the time. He didn't seem to have an issue at all! I mean, really? I told him I didn't like it and she sort of blew me off as if I was making more of it than it was.

We didn't argue or anything, but I'm still thinking about why she's getting so friendly with my husband if not for the fact she's trying to get with him. I asked one of the other wives in our neighborhood and she said maybe they just became friends over the trip. Sure, that's fine. But, normally single women don't text married men. At least that's how I look at it. And sorry but I don't like a pretty little young thing texting my husband. This will really bug me and it will bug me even more if my husband keeps thinking it's not a big deal.

I've bolded the parts of your post that make you look desperate and judgmental. You are not friends with this woman. You looked down on her since she moved in because she's not married and lives in a smaller, older house than you. You openly resent her youth and beauty. Why on earth did you invite her on vacation with your family?

This. You invited her to get closer, she did, and now you're stupid neurotic about it? This is all about you, OP, and it ain't pretty!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just tell him you’re not comfortable with it and ask him to stop texting. Even if he doesn’t think it’s a big deal, if he values your feelings, he will stop.

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