How many generations apart before …

[Anonymous]

My DH and I, and our kids, have close relationships with several close in age 2nd cousins. We just call them cousins.

Growing up my family was close to my mom's 3rd cousins. We didn't refer to them as cousins but noted it as a fun fact I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You only share 12.5% DNA even with your first cousins, so that gets diluted pretty quickly. I don’t consider anyone really to be a relative beyond my first cousins, their children and the children of my parents’ first cousins.

I’ve met quite a lot of people who share your opinion.

-OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think of it in terms of dating. Would I date a 3rd cousin? No? Then they're my cousin.

Would you even know if they were your third cousin? What if you found out later? -OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You only share 12.5% DNA even with your first cousins, so that gets diluted pretty quickly. I don’t consider anyone really to be a relative beyond my first cousins, their children and the children of my parents’ first cousins.

According to 23andme I share 21% with one of my first cousin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom is into genealogy and once said you can marry third cousins which is why they’re called kissing cousins. I guess third is the point where there’s no genetic risks? Not sure, my mom isn’t the most reliable narrator out there.

Op here — I also do family history and have volunteered to help at different family history centers. You can marry your first cousins which is skeevy to many of modern day people in the US. But it wasn’t so rare as I have discovered. Almost everyone I’ve helped has so-called kissing cousins. The issue that concerns civil and church authorities is if there is too many near cousin marriages. If your parents were first cousins and one of theirs were first or second cousins, then there is more concern. But marrying a first cousin is not so concerning from a science perspective. Socially especially now it is taboo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m trying to imagine a scenario where you are at a gathering with a 3rd cousin, are in the position to be introducing them to another person there, and need to explain how you know them/are related to them.

But I guess if this happened to me, and what I needed to convey is that we share a distant relation, I’d say “fun fact, Bob and I are distant cousins!”

Op here again — I agree it would be unusual. It’s just my former housemate’s comment about by the time you’re 3rd cousins your more friends than relatives at best. I forget exactly how she worded that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You only share 12.5% DNA even with your first cousins, so that gets diluted pretty quickly. I don’t consider anyone really to be a relative beyond my first cousins, their children and the children of my parents’ first cousins.

According to 23andme I share 21% with one of my first cousin.

Seems like someone in your family married a relative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You only share 12.5% DNA even with your first cousins, so that gets diluted pretty quickly. I don’t consider anyone really to be a relative beyond my first cousins, their children and the children of my parents’ first cousins.

According to 23andme I share 21% with one of my first cousin.

Seems like someone in your family married a relative.

Sorry meant to say someone in your family tree procreated with a relative.

[Anonymous]

I call my 1st cousins and their kids my cousins. Anything after 3rd cousin, I don't really consider related.

When I get a match email from Ancestry, I don't bother reviewing it if it's 2nd-3rd cousins. We aren't related enough for me to care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think of it in terms of dating. Would I date a 3rd cousin? No? Then they're my cousin.

Would you even know if they were your third cousin? What if you found out later? -OP

Well, I'm jewish. My people play jewish geography, so we'd figure it out right away. Membership has its privileges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You only share 12.5% DNA even with your first cousins, so that gets diluted pretty quickly. I don’t consider anyone really to be a relative beyond my first cousins, their children and the children of my parents’ first cousins.

According to 23andme I share 21% with one of my first cousin.

My dad’s sister was married to her first cousin (long ago and not the US) so her children and I will also have more than 12.5%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m trying to imagine a scenario where you are at a gathering with a 3rd cousin, are in the position to be introducing them to another person there, and need to explain how you know them/are related to them.

But I guess if this happened to me, and what I needed to convey is that we share a distant relation, I’d say “fun fact, Bob and I are distant cousins!”

Op here again — I agree it would be unusual. It’s just my former housemate’s comment about by the time you’re 3rd cousins your more friends than relatives at best. I forget exactly how she worded that.

I think it matter mostly in context. My great-grandparents migrated to the US, and I have a third cousin in "the homeland" who has shared family history and lore and even hosted us. Obviously, our shared interest in family history has brought us together. We have lots of other third cousins who aren't so interested in family history, so we wouldn't have as much to talk about or as much reason to get to know each other.

[Anonymous]

I banged my third cousin in college

[Anonymous]

A complicated answer is that it depends on what gene segments end up where.

But generally, the genes are going to be fairly close at 2nd cousins, still. Could be very close genetically at 3rd, if the same landed down the line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m trying to imagine a scenario where you are at a gathering with a 3rd cousin, are in the position to be introducing them to another person there, and need to explain how you know them/are related to them.

But I guess if this happened to me, and what I needed to convey is that we share a distant relation, I’d say “fun fact, Bob and I are distant cousins!”

I'm not sure why you're trying to imagine that, since it wasn't OP's question. OP just asked "is there a point you stop calling distant cousins cousins" not "do you introduce them to everyone as your cousin". If you know someone is your cousin you don't have to yell "this is my fourth cousin!" at strangers to call them your cousin.