How many generations apart before …

[Anonymous]

… you stop calling biologically related people cousins? I know a few 3rd and 4th cousins. We don’t holiday together or anything. One I could see being a friend if we lived closer.

I had a roommate that said by the time you’re 3rd cousins, you’re not really cousins any more. Made me wonder if people would introduce a third cousin as a cousin bc saying someone is a cousin seems to suggest you share a pair of grandparents or great-grandparents.

No need to get into whether and when you can marry a cousin — which BTW you can marry first cousins in many places. It becomes an issue if you descend from too many close cousin marriages.

So, would you introduce someone you are related to by 2x-great-grandparents or ones further back as your cousin —not your 3rd cousin — just cousin at a party or other social event other than a family gathering?

[Anonymous]

I am very close with my mom’s much younger cousin. He’s close to my age. I call him my cousin to others, not to his face. But I’d never call his kids my cousins.

[Anonymous]

If I knew that someone was my third or fourth cousin, I'd introduce them as a cousin. That's how you know them, right? Because you're related to them?

Actually, even if I worked with someone and they showed up one day saying "the craziest thing happened when my 23andMe results came back, I think we might be cousins??" I would probably introduce them as a cousin after that. Weird coincidence, but maybe a good story!

I guess I'm not seeing the downside unless you're in the British Royal Family - does calling a distant cousin your cousin indicate to the listener a privilege they're not really entitled to or something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I knew that someone was my third or fourth cousin, I'd introduce them as a cousin. That's how you know them, right? Because you're related to them?

Actually, even if I worked with someone and they showed up one day saying "the craziest thing happened when my 23andMe results came back, I think we might be cousins??" I would probably introduce them as a cousin after that. Weird coincidence, but maybe a good story!

I guess I'm not seeing the downside unless you're in the British Royal Family - does calling a distant cousin your cousin indicate to the listener a privilege they're not really entitled to or something?

Op here: I wouldn’t deny the relationship, but I know some people would assume we have a close familial connection like family gatherings. I would feel weird introducing someone as cousin that I barely knew or ever socialized with even if I worked with them. Come to think of it, I went to school with several people who were 2nd cousins and they never really brought it up and weren’t close. My brother went to school with a third cousin and they never hung in the same circles or talked to each other. Interestingly our parents were close as children bc they lived in the same neighborhood and their parents (my grandmother) were close friends as well as first cousins.

[Anonymous]

I’m going back to a work scenario. If I was in a meeting where I had to introduce the attendees, I wouldn’t introduce my 3rd cousin that I barely know outside of work as a cousin. They really wouldn’t be any different than other coworkers. If a sibling or first cousin were in the room, I might. Working at some federal sites I learned later that some people in attendance were married but used different surnames.

[Anonymous]

You only share 12.5% DNA even with your first cousins, so that gets diluted pretty quickly. I don’t consider anyone really to be a relative beyond my first cousins, their children and the children of my parents’ first cousins.

[Anonymous]

I think of it in terms of dating. Would I date a 3rd cousin? No? Then they're my cousin.

[Anonymous]

It depends. I grew up with my second cousin. She's one year younger than I am. Our daughters (third cousins) are the same age and there are no other girls near their ages. So they're closer to each other than they are to some second cousins.

I have some first cousins who I barely know. Our kids have never even met each other even though they're second cousins.

[Anonymous]

I don't know any 3rd or 4th cousins, but I do know lots and lots of 2nd cousin and would introduce them as a cousin.

[Anonymous]

My mom is into genealogy and once said you can marry third cousins which is why they’re called kissing cousins. I guess third is the point where there’s no genetic risks? Not sure, my mom isn’t the most reliable narrator out there.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone more distantly related to me than a second cousin or a second cousin once removed. I know they exist, but I don’t know their names or anything about them.

[Anonymous]

Anything greater than a 2nd cousin

[Anonymous]

Anything more than my parents' cousins. If they were further apart from that I'd call them "distant relatives".

[Anonymous]

I’m trying to imagine a scenario where you are at a gathering with a 3rd cousin, are in the position to be introducing them to another person there, and need to explain how you know them/are related to them.

But I guess if this happened to me, and what I needed to convey is that we share a distant relation, I’d say “fun fact, Bob and I are distant cousins!”

[Anonymous]

For me they were just cousins. My father had some cousins and I knew their kids but I never knew if they were 2nd or 3rd. Too confusing.