Overheard DD13 conversation I didn’t like

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember being 13 and giggling about stuff like this and having NO idea what it actually meant. Seems like now is a great time to have a talk with her. No accusing. No getting mad. Just a simple sex talk.

This. And I didn’t do anything more than very PG making out until college so it does not mean she (or her friends) are doing the things they talk about.
But this is your chance to set an open tone for sec talk OP.

It’s not the same as 20 years ago. When my daughter got the HPV vax the Dr. told me they had to lower the age because too many 14 year olds already had HPV. I’m amazed that these girls stick those foul things in their mouths. That age they must smell like sweat, pee, and gym shorts.

[Anonymous]

Am I the only person who is surprised the conversation included a male friend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember being 13 and giggling about stuff like this and having NO idea what it actually meant. Seems like now is a great time to have a talk with her. No accusing. No getting mad. Just a simple sex talk.

This. And I didn’t do anything more than very PG making out until college so it does not mean she (or her friends) are doing the things they talk about.
But this is your chance to set an open tone for sec talk OP.

It’s not the same as 20 years ago. When my daughter got the HPV vax the Dr. told me they had to lower the age because too many 14 year olds already had HPV. I’m amazed that these girls stick those foul things in their mouths. That age they must smell like sweat, pee, and gym shorts.

Nah, that’s not why they lowered the age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember being 13 and giggling about stuff like this and having NO idea what it actually meant. Seems like now is a great time to have a talk with her. No accusing. No getting mad. Just a simple sex talk.

This. And I didn’t do anything more than very PG making out until college so it does not mean she (or her friends) are doing the things they talk about.
But this is your chance to set an open tone for sec talk OP.

It’s not the same as 20 years ago. When my daughter got the HPV vax the Dr. told me they had to lower the age because too many 14 year olds already had HPV. I’m amazed that these girls stick those foul things in their mouths. That age they must smell like sweat, pee, and gym shorts.

They also weren’t offering the HpV vax 20 years ago. And I also had friends who were pregnant by the end of high school (not the same friends I was giggling with at 13 though). The idea that kids are more sexually active now then our generation was doesn’t hold up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Telling her to "knock it off" just makes the conversation more appealing, but out of your earshot.

Instead, after she gets off the phone, ask her what she thinks it means and why it's funny. Ask her if she thinks her friends are sexually active and what she thinks of that.

Make yourself a safe person to talk about sex, rather than someone your daughter has to hide problems from.

This
Have a serious talk with her when she’s not on the phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember being 13 and giggling about stuff like this and having NO idea what it actually meant. Seems like now is a great time to have a talk with her. No accusing. No getting mad. Just a simple sex talk.

This. And I didn’t do anything more than very PG making out until college so it does not mean she (or her friends) are doing the things they talk about.
But this is your chance to set an open tone for sec talk OP.

+1 I still have my high school yearbooks. They are chock full of inside jokes about sex and drugs and we weren’t doing any of either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only person who is surprised the conversation included a male friend?

Not at all. All of my kids had mixed gender friend groups at this age. I never did.

[Anonymous]

I hope you've discussed sex and all that already so she has accurate information. My kid had seen porn on his friend's phone at that age. There is no escape. Arm them with accurate information and clear expectations of your values. And keep talking.

Still, you need to prepare for when your kid doesn't have the same values.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only person who is surprised the conversation included a male friend?

Not at all. All of my kids had mixed gender friend groups at this age. I never did.

Yep. And the kids who are more likely dabbling in threes convos and activities (the “fast” or “cool” kids…whatever you want to call them) are mixed gender friend groups.

100 percent some girls are giving blow jobs in middle school and sadly no it doesn’t go both ways. Do not shame your kid ask questions and start a conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, def ask to make sure she understands what it is (guarantee at almost 13 she does). Then, reinforce it is sex and she CAN get infections.

Further, as she gets older, make sure she understands if she's giving, she better be receiving as well.

+1

Definitely make sure she insists on receiving as much (or more) than she is giving.

At 13? Dp

[Anonymous]

I'd roll my eyes and ignore it.

Of course you've been having discussions about sex, sexuality, respect, etc. all along, so just continue that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teens do not view oral sex as sex.

It is NBD to them.

In this case - focus on teaching about STD? Complete with graphic photos of infections?

Yes. I would likely make my kid do some research on medical websites that I provide. STD is reality. So many kids think it is truly "NBD", but ... sometimes it really is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d take the phone for 6 months and try again.

Yes punish her for talking about sex.

[Anonymous]

My kid wouldn’t be on the phone wasting time in a mixed gender setting to begin with. It’s called parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember being 13 and giggling about stuff like this and having NO idea what it actually meant. Seems like now is a great time to have a talk with her. No accusing. No getting mad. Just a simple sex talk.

This. And I didn’t do anything more than very PG making out until college so it does not mean she (or her friends) are doing the things they talk about.
But this is your chance to set an open tone for sec talk OP.

It’s not the same as 20 years ago. When my daughter got the HPV vax the Dr. told me they had to lower the age because too many 14 year olds already had HPV. I’m amazed that these girls stick those foul things in their mouths. That age they must smell like sweat, pee, and gym shorts.

Not every kid is dirty. Have your daughter up her standards in the people she is intimate with.