Is he gay?

[Anonymous]

Ask him if you can handle "yes" as an answer. If he's not he'll say "no."

[Anonymous]

If he's not telling you because of the way you grew up, would you 1000% accept him if he was? Does he know that you're fine with it? Like have you discussed it politically or mention gay friends you have etc? If he is and he's going to tell you he needs to know he is completely safe in telling you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he's not telling you because of the way you grew up, would you 1000% accept him if he was? Does he know that you're fine with it? Like have you discussed it politically or mention gay friends you have etc? If he is and he's going to tell you he needs to know he is completely safe in telling you.

Op here. We were brought up religious so there's that.

I would 100000% accept him and it wouldn't change anything. It's not a huge deal just would connect some dots, I guess I'll continue minding my business or make more of a safe space in the future if he wanted to share. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Does he listen to show tunes? Speak with a lisp?

FFS, OP. Have a conversation with your brother if you must.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he's not telling you because of the way you grew up, would you 1000% accept him if he was? Does he know that you're fine with it? Like have you discussed it politically or mention gay friends you have etc? If he is and he's going to tell you he needs to know he is completely safe in telling you.

Op here. We were brought up religious so there's that.

I would 100000% accept him and it wouldn't change anything. It's not a huge deal just would connect some dots, I guess I'll continue minding my business or make more of a safe space in the future if he wanted to share. Thanks!

If that is true then ask him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he's not telling you because of the way you grew up, would you 1000% accept him if he was? Does he know that you're fine with it? Like have you discussed it politically or mention gay friends you have etc? If he is and he's going to tell you he needs to know he is completely safe in telling you.

Op here. We were brought up religious so there's that.

I would 100000% accept him and it wouldn't change anything. It's not a huge deal just would connect some dots, I guess I'll continue minding my business or make more of a safe space in the future if he wanted to share. Thanks!

What religion?
"Religious" doesn't mean anti-gay. Bigotry isn't religious thing, even though bigots use religion as an excuse.

Which way does his hair part whorl orient?

Did he have a closer relationship with his father or his mother? Sister or brother?

Take him out to socialize with your gay friends. Observe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think they sell GAYDAR at The Sharper Image. But if it’s sold out, try Brookstone or Hammacher Schlemmer.

+1 Best reply tonight!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he's not telling you because of the way you grew up, would you 1000% accept him if he was? Does he know that you're fine with it? Like have you discussed it politically or mention gay friends you have etc? If he is and he's going to tell you he needs to know he is completely safe in telling you.

Op here. We were brought up religious so there's that.

I would 100000% accept him and it wouldn't change anything. It's not a huge deal just would connect some dots, I guess I'll continue minding my business or make more of a safe space in the future if he wanted to share. Thanks!

New pp here.

I would mention that you support LGBT rights and that you hate what's happening with Don't Say Gay and other anti-queer legislation in red states.

Do not ask him if he's gay. Despite what other people are suggesting here, it's really rude to do that and if he isn't ready to come out of the closet, he'll just lie to you anyway. Coming out is something personal that we all do in our own time when we are ready. It's our story to tell and being dragged out of the closet by straight people because they're curious is not a pleasant thing to have happen. As someone that was raised in a very religious family, I allowed fears of the loss of my family to prevent me from coming out for years. When I did finally come out, those fears all materialized and I lost one entire side of my family. He could be closeted gay or trans but the best you can do is to make it clear that you accept queer people so that he will know that you'll be there if he's gay and comes out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he's not telling you because of the way you grew up, would you 1000% accept him if he was? Does he know that you're fine with it? Like have you discussed it politically or mention gay friends you have etc? If he is and he's going to tell you he needs to know he is completely safe in telling you.

Op here. We were brought up religious so there's that.

I would 100000% accept him and it wouldn't change anything. It's not a huge deal just would connect some dots, I guess I'll continue minding my business or make more of a safe space in the future if he wanted to share. Thanks!

What religion?
"Religious" doesn't mean anti-gay. Bigotry isn't religious thing, even though bigots use religion as an excuse. Did you grow up in Christain church?

Which way does his hair part whorl orient? It doesnt, sort like Ryan Seacrest

Did he have a closer relationship with his father or his mother? Sister or brother? Mom and me his sister, very funny and great personality...many friends.

Take him out to socialize with your gay friends. Observe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he's not telling you because of the way you grew up, would you 1000% accept him if he was? Does he know that you're fine with it? Like have you discussed it politically or mention gay friends you have etc? If he is and he's going to tell you he needs to know he is completely safe in telling you.

Op here. We were brought up religious so there's that.

I would 100000% accept him and it wouldn't change anything. It's not a huge deal just would connect some dots, I guess I'll continue minding my business or make more of a safe space in the future if he wanted to share. Thanks!

New pp here.

I would mention that you support LGBT rights and that you hate what's happening with Don't Say Gay and other anti-queer legislation in red states.

Do not ask him if he's gay. Despite what other people are suggesting here, it's really rude to do that and if he isn't ready to come out of the closet, he'll just lie to you anyway. Coming out is something personal that we all do in our own time when we are ready. It's our story to tell and being dragged out of the closet by straight people because they're curious is not a pleasant thing to have happen. As someone that was raised in a very religious family, I allowed fears of the loss of my family to prevent me from coming out for years. When I did finally come out, those fears all materialized and I lost one entire side of my family. He could be closeted gay or trans but the best you can do is to make it clear that you accept queer people so that he will know that you'll be there if he's gay and comes out.

I would never ask straight out, it feels way too personal and I agree with everything you say. I feel like my dad would be the onlyone that would be annoying about it. Maybe he fears my dad? Tough spot to be in. I will verbalize acceptance if future. But again i have no idea!

[Anonymous]

Yes, of course.

I wouldn't bother him about it. He's probably content with the status quo and that everyone privately knows he's gay without having to officially acknowledge it.

-- gay man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he's not telling you because of the way you grew up, would you 1000% accept him if he was? Does he know that you're fine with it? Like have you discussed it politically or mention gay friends you have etc? If he is and he's going to tell you he needs to know he is completely safe in telling you.

Op here. We were brought up religious so there's that.

I would 100000% accept him and it wouldn't change anything. It's not a huge deal just would connect some dots, I guess I'll continue minding my business or make more of a safe space in the future if he wanted to share. Thanks!

NP here. If you think there is a chance he’s not telling you because your upbringing is having an effect on him coming to terms with coming out, I would encourage you to give him an opening without directly asking and putting him on the spot.

Like bring up a celebrity or someone you know from childhood who has come out and say how great it is that things have changed since you guys were kids and people are free to come out. Or just some sort of pro LGBTQ acknowledgement. Maybe even make up a fake “coworker” who recently came out to a family member. Something to put it in his radar that you are totally accepting.

I have a friend who grew up in a really conservative household who has suspected from a young age her brother is gay. He finally came out to her and she is keeping the secret from her parents who would not handle it well. But she is glad she can be a source of familial support for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think they sell GAYDAR at The Sharper Image. But if it’s sold out, try Brookstone or Hammacher Schlemmer.

Underrated comment of the thread so far.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there a way to tell if a person is gay?

My brother has never mentioned dating, never married and dresses well and wears bright colors occasionally. I don't think he'd tell me if he were because of our upbringing.

Is there a way to know?

I'm sorry to tell you this OP, but your suspicions are factual. Your brother is indeed homosexual. My father never wore anything but blacks, browns, and greys. He is a heterosexual man (depending on the day of the week). Now, if he is wearing bright colors OCCASIONALLY, that is cause for more concern. There is a certain homosexual agenda that might be trying to convince him that he is bisexual. They spoke about it on my father's favorite news channel - Fox News. I don't know if you have heard of it. Let me know OP, and I'll send you the link.

[Anonymous]

Yes he most likely is.