I figured out what men want!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LOL this sounds like one of those "HERE IS A REAL WOMAN" twitter memes that show a trust funder in an unbuttoned Quaker-style dress holding a baby while making a cake.

*laughing*

Nailed it. Definitely has an agenda, but oh well. Par for the course. People attracted to simple answers will be attracted to simple answers; people attracted to glurge will be attracted to glurge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or at least, what some men want.

This one couple we are close friends with, to be, at least from observations in close interactions with them, very happy. The things that seem to get other couples in trouble seem to avoid them. At a recent get together, I asked what do they love about each other.

They are both in their early 30s.

Husband: Her kindness, her maternal instincts and her beauty
Wife: His drive for success, his character and his desire to constantly improve himself

The answers seem pretty gendered but they are parents of a newborn and still gaze at each other adoringly. its so sweet.

But there you have it ladies. These are the traits marriage-minded men look for.

Yeah, some men want that others don't, and what the woman wants also matters.
I don't care about drive for success but I care about intelligence and looks. I have no desire to be a mother, so I don't think I'd be happy with a man looking for maternal women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Early 30s with newborn.

Now ask me, with 20 years of marriage and teens.

Or don't ask, because you won't like the answer.

Not the OP but now I'm curious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Early 30s with newborn.

Now ask me, with 20 years of marriage and teens.

Or don't ask, because you won't like the answer.

I'm not OP and I want to know!

PP you replied to.

A. Men want what women want. Security, and not have too much trouble. Of course there tends to be gendered preferences (beauty in women, money in men), but mostly, people don't want trouble. If there are health issues, professional issues, problematic mental health behaviors, kids with special needs, elders who need care, then the bond you have can evaporate quickly in recrimination and conflict, because it's too stressful. And it's 100% certain you will have issues! You can't easily tell who will have the most rock-solid tolerance to stress when you're just starting out, or who will get triggered with what particular stress.

B. Also, what men and women want may not be what they need! Because most of us when young aren't that self-aware. Often we get exactly what we want, because we worked and looked for it, and then we realize later it wasn't what we needed.

So all in all, it's pretty much a crapshoot. I think the people who come out of it happy are: people born with brain chemistry that tend towards happy already, instead of depressed; and people who work very hard to see the glass half full instead of half-empty.

[Anonymous]

But what if he IS the best lover and what if I do think he’s pretty great? Should I not tell him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thankfully that is NOT what DH likes about me nor does he need to be told how awesome he is all the time. Probably why our marriage is so great

Keeper, if you’re correct

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Early 30s with newborn.

Now ask me, with 20 years of marriage and teens.

Or don't ask, because you won't like the answer.

Not the OP but now I'm curious.

He wants the next door neighbor’s college aged daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL this sounds like one of those "HERE IS A REAL WOMAN" twitter memes that show a trust funder in an unbuttoned Quaker-style dress holding a baby while making a cake.

I guess some people truly embody this.

hahahaha

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL this sounds like one of those "HERE IS A REAL WOMAN" twitter memes that show a trust funder in an unbuttoned Quaker-style dress holding a baby while making a cake.

I guess some people truly embody this.

Or at least cosplay it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men just wanna be told they’re awesome all the time.

If they take their own plate to the sink, they want to be told good job!

In bed you must pretend they’re the most amazing lay you’ve ever had.

If they tell you something you already know, you have to pretend to be so thankful with all wonder in the world to be impart this knowledge from them.

I mean, it’s pretty simple.

This is OP. Well, the wife definitely does this. I have never seen her be cross with her husband. She is always complimentary, no matter what he does, and she will never tell him he is wrong!Meanwhile, can't stop gushing over how lucky he is as she is so beautiful and nice!

Wait until their son is 5 (or even worse, 15), and she is acting exactly this same way with him.
Her DH is going to wonder what is wrong with her. Hopefully for them, they have only sweet, mild tempered girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But what if he IS the best lover and what if I do think he’s pretty great? Should I not tell him?

I mean if he is why does he need you to tell him every hour of the day?

[Anonymous]

This is the “happy man stage.” He’s just started his career and is all potential, and he has just had his first child.

If your husband isn’t googley-eyes at you right after you had his first child, things do not bode well for your marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thankfully that is NOT what DH likes about me nor does he need to be told how awesome he is all the time. Probably why our marriage is so great

I think my husband of many years loves me because I’m confident, independent, low maintenance, rarely nag, was or is still a good mother and now grandmother and I still love sex. I love him for the same reasons plus he was incredibly successful and we lead a very comfortable life. If I told him he was awesome he’d say I was pandering and ask what was I up to? I think OPs friends are still in a lala land dream state. Let’s see what they say in 30 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men just wanna be told they’re awesome all the time.

If they take their own plate to the sink, they want to be told good job!

In bed you must pretend they’re the most amazing lay you’ve ever had.

If they tell you something you already know, you have to pretend to be so thankful with all wonder in the world to be impart this knowledge from them.

I mean, it’s pretty simple.

Words of affirmation is my DH’s love language too.

[Anonymous]

What men want:

In college: get drunk and get laid

Post college: get laid

Marriage: be well fed and get laid