Our society or at least my family almost encourages eating disorders

[Anonymous]

OP, while I agree that your family should mind their own business with regard to what is on your plate... your description really gives off disordered eating vibes from your end. Like perhaps you think your family shouldn't be eating pastries or bacon or whatever foods you deem "bad" during what I am assuming is an infrequent family event. I'm thin and try to eat well 95% of the time. But during the 5% of the time -- things like holidays, parties, gatherings... I feel 100% OK with eating things that are fattier/saltier/more calorie dense/junkier than my regular fare. I know that these occasional indulgences aren't going to make any difference in my overall physical health, because I go right back to my normal healthy diet the following day. Our culture has an "all or nothing" mentality when it comes to diet and exercise, but most non-disordered people are able to be more moderate in their approach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At a buffet with family I get a full plate, declare how great all the food looks, take a couple bites here and there and move things around on the plate. People ask and I say oh I am full or I am still working on it or something
and by the time we are leaving I have had a few bites of food which I mostly dont like and don’t want to fully eat and no one cares .

Don’t draw attention yourself while eating out in social situations like this. You are inviting this scrutiny on yourself so you can tell them about your weight watchers thing. Why do you need to tell them about it? Is it because you want to feel superior?

Ok but you actually sound like you have an eating disorder. You should not be giving OP advice. Her approach of eating good food in good quantities is much healthier than yours.

What about this says "eating disorder"? PP said PP mostly didn't like the food and didn't want to eat it. So why do so? I guess PP didn't want to just get nothing and sit there with an empty plate. PP said she didn't want to invite scrutiny, so who cares? Also, maybe someone else is paying for the buffet, and PP didn't want to seem ungrateful? The only thing about it that bothers me is the wasting of the food.

[Anonymous]

I definitely think there is peer pressure related to food and drinking. I've certainly noticed this in my peer group (middle-aged women). People feel less badly about themselves if everyone shares the fries/nachos/pitcher of margaritas, and if you don't imbibe - you're making them feel bad. I can admit to participating in this narrative, though I am usually pretty disciplined.

Conversely, there are also the extra-annoying people that have to announce they're going to avoid the bread basket or how committed they are to Dry January that can put a damper on my enjoyment of either of those things.

[Anonymous]

In my grandparents time they grew up when food was scarce and expensive and it was cultural to push seconds on people to show hospitality when hosting.

Most of these people have died off.

In some ethnicities it is cultural to push food on people to demonstrate hospitality.

Americans have such an issue with obesity that I would never push food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At a buffet with family I get a full plate, declare how great all the food looks, take a couple bites here and there and move things around on the plate. People ask and I say oh I am full or I am still working on it or something
and by the time we are leaving I have had a few bites of food which I mostly dont like and don’t want to fully eat and no one cares .

Don’t draw attention yourself while eating out in social situations like this. You are inviting this scrutiny on yourself so you can tell them about your weight watchers thing. Why do you need to tell them about it? Is it because you want to feel superior?

You are part of the problem.

[Anonymous]

You need to establish and enforce firmer boundaries. I doubt food is the only issue your family is inappropriate with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom is like this. Worse in a way, because she will push food and not eat it. She only offers huge portions. So if I agree to eat a brownie - because I am fine with sweets in moderation, she will give me a giant brownie. I have to stop her, or cut off a piece and return the rest. It’s a huge problem visiting because my son struggles with moderation and always overeats when visiting. What I hate is that she knows it’s too large of a portion - she would never eat it.

I think a lot of women are like this. They like to push food on other people. I think it’s a weird eating disorder itself.

Yes. It's a part of the disorder for many women.

[Anonymous]

My family isn’t annoying about food, but I have encountered situations like this especially with other moms. I hate sweets. I always have. I especially hate cupcakes (they are disgusting to me), but there’s been more than one mom pushing a cupcake into my face at some random kid event and then giving me a nasty face when I politely decline. Try to ignore it!