Parents bragging about not spending $$ on kids

[Anonymous]

There are many people who think money=love. I was not brought up that way and neither were my kids. Nobody in my family brags about spending money or not spending money, that would be inappropriate. My relationship with my adult kids is great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m part of a FB minimalist group that kind of does this. It’s more about rejecting conspicuous consumption and spending on values and priorities.

Maybe in your FB group it is, but among my friends in real life who do it, it’s about obnoxious virtue signaling. Look how little we need! Because kindness is more important than gifts! And I will tell EVERYONE that I’m only buying my kids one gift!

You do you, but I don’t see why you need to shout that kindness from the rooftops unless you’re hoping for some attention for it.

[Anonymous]

When people talk too much, they are bound to say some dumb things. They will always say something disagreeable. They just share too much.

[Anonymous]

They’re trying to normalize consuming less and being more environmentally friendly. While I don’t post to social media at all, I appreciate those efforts to create a new normal. These are solid efforts against all the harmful messaging we receive otherwise. I’d love it if wealthy people started bragging about not buying mcmansions, too, and living smaller — start another new trend that’s ultimately better for the earth.

[Anonymous]

There is nothing wrong with any of those things.

-the kid probably has plenty of toys and more just creates more clutter and more cleaning
-I grew up with the sleeping bag on the hotel floor well into elementary school
-I know several European families that do that (gifts on Jan 6 not on Christmas.) Nothing wrong with giving into excess and materialism.

[Anonymous]

It's just obnoxious to brag about your parenting, full stop. Don't brag about how much stuff you bought your kids. Don't brag about how you bought so little for them. Don't brag about how rich you are, or how anti-consumerist you are, or how you kids are having the BEST holiday for XYZ reason. Don't brag about your ski trip, don't brag about staying home. Bragging sucks and is annoying but for some reason it's really hard for people not to do. It is always an expression of insecurity and poor manners.

But people on DCUM and in the world will immediately bristle at this and say "what, I can't even talk about my life? I can't tell you about our holiday??" And no, that's not it. You can of course talk about your life. It is the way you choose to discuss it, the things you choose to focus on, and especially any comparisons you draw between yourself and others that take it from a perfectly normal thing into annoying bragging behavior. But a lot of people aren't interested in this nuance because they desperately need to be able to tell you about how great they are.

[Anonymous]

One of them a Mormon “influencer “

Just got caught child abuse.

Theses people are horrible why do you waste time following crap

[Anonymous]

I think we all have strong opinions regarding some aspect or another of child rearing, family life etc. Posting about these on social media is generally obnoxious and IME people who do so are insecure about their choices and seeking validation from others. I usually ignore and/or hide.

I think a more modest holiday celebration is perfectly fine btw. Big overblown celebrations and gifts are fine too. These things are often cultural or family tradition. To each their own.

[Anonymous]

Regarding the argument that they are trying to normalize a less consumption-focused Christmas -- this is only true if the family is generally not consuming a lot. And if you want to actively brag about this, you better REALLY walk the walk on being anti-consumerist.

Bragging about how you didn't buy your kid Christmas presents because you wanted to buy them the experience of skiing in Aspen is not anti-consumerist. Bragging about only buying your kid one Christmas present when you're a family of 4 living in a 5,000 house on a 1/2 acre lot and have two luxury cars is not anti-consumerist. Bragging about how you only gave your kids a gift in January when your kid has the newest and best of everything (just not received as Christmas presents) is not anti-consumerist.

[Anonymous]

I don’t follow influencers or belong to any “groups” of people I don’t know, so I have no idea what you are talking about.

[Anonymous]

That doesn’t sound like bragging to me. More like describing what they are doing.

Flamboyant overconsumption is all over social. Maybe they are trying to counter that wave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing wrong with any of those things.

-the kid probably has plenty of toys and more just creates more clutter and more cleaning
-I grew up with the sleeping bag on the hotel floor well into elementary school
-I know several European families that do that (gifts on Jan 6 not on Christmas.) Nothing wrong with giving into excess and materialism.

Do people really spend more on another bed? We always either shared if there was a second bed, or did sleeping bags, when I was a kid. Like up through high school. My kids do too. And we pay for much nicer hotels than my parents ever did, but the quality is reflected in having a kitchenette in room so we can cook meals, not adding a bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Regarding the argument that they are trying to normalize a less consumption-focused Christmas -- this is only true if the family is generally not consuming a lot. And if you want to actively brag about this, you better REALLY walk the walk on being anti-consumerist.

Bragging about how you didn't buy your kid Christmas presents because you wanted to buy them the experience of skiing in Aspen is not anti-consumerist. Bragging about only buying your kid one Christmas present when you're a family of 4 living in a 5,000 house on a 1/2 acre lot and have two luxury cars is not anti-consumerist. Bragging about how you only gave your kids a gift in January when your kid has the newest and best of everything (just not received as Christmas presents) is not anti-consumerist.

Lol, do we know the same person?

[Anonymous]

Ew to a child sleeping on a crummy hotel room floor, so you can brag. Why not get two queens? Or a cot. That is so disgusting to have roaches crawling across their faces at night to save a dime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m part of a FB minimalist group that kind of does this. It’s more about rejecting conspicuous consumption and spending on values and priorities.

Maybe in your FB group it is, but among my friends in real life who do it, it’s about obnoxious virtue signaling. Look how little we need! Because kindness is more important than gifts! And I will tell EVERYONE that I’m only buying my kids one gift!

You do you, but I don’t see why you need to shout that kindness from the rooftops unless you’re hoping for some attention for it.

I think the question to ask here is why does this trigger you so much? Maybe you know your relationships are empty deep down?

My sisters family is like this. So many presents and theb they ask my kids what they got and are shocked it was just two things. We don’t want a ton of junk.