Parents bragging about not spending $$ on kids

[Anonymous]

Have you ever not spent money on your kid and then bragged about it on social media?

This has come up in my social media feed in various contexts. Examples:

-Parents bragging about how they only bought one present for Christmas for their kids

-Parents bragging about how they don't pay for an extra bed for their toddler while traveling; instead they make a blanket bed on the floor of the hotel room.

-(This is pretty specific to my cultural heritage but) Parents bragging about how they only give their kids presents on La Befana (Jan 6) and not Christmas because it's "ridiculous" to celebrate "two whole present days" that are "so close together"

If you were a kid whose parents took pride in not spending money on you, what's your relationship with your parents like today? Did you get them the nicest nursing home, or did you post to social media saying "Medicaid nursing home is good enough for Mom! Maybe we'll visit next year if we have any spare credit card points after our couples' tour of Sicily."

[Anonymous]

Actually i would love it for the kids of influencers, whose parents merchandised their childhoods without their consent, turn the tables. Once the kids have grown up and the influencers are in nursing homes, the kid would be on tiktok, with the camera trained on the aged influencer: what kind of underwear does my thirsty mom like to wear? Depends. #ad

[Anonymous]

I was that kid. Our relationship is fine, and I never thought that a nice nursing home for my parents is my responsibility. They did not count on me either. Obviously, if the situation is somehow dire, I'll step in, but yes, a Medicaid nursing home is fine.

I am the same way with my children. I did not overspend on them, and I am not counting on the, to support me in my old age.

[Anonymous]

They’re just reacting to the American culture if excess and tmelding their old cultural traditions with newer ones. One extreme tends to beget the other extreme.

Ignore. Moderation is key. Growing up I had a little present for St Nicholas (Dec 6), then the rest at Christmas. My muslim friend’s parents decided to put up a tree and give their kids presents too because that was the prevailing culture. It’s important to adapt and be flexible!

[Anonymous]

The parents that didn’t spend excessive money on presents for their kids when they were younger probably have enough money left to pay for home health and won’t end up in a nursing home.

[Anonymous]

I’m part of a FB minimalist group that kind of does this. It’s more about rejecting conspicuous consumption and spending on values and priorities.

[Anonymous]

I assume the parent has narcissistic qualities because their actions are externally-oriented (AKA, "Look at me! Look how awesome I am for doing this, give me praise!"), and then I feel bad for their kids.

[Anonymous]

Some years I didn’t buy my kids any birthday gifts because they would get SO MUCH from relatives. Between that and birthday party gifts it was more than enough new stuff.

I’ve also made a blanket pallet bed in a hotel over the years, mainly because two siblings preferred not to share a bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I assume the parent has narcissistic qualities because their actions are externally-oriented (AKA, "Look at me! Look how awesome I am for doing this, give me praise!"), and then I feel bad for their kids.

+1

MIL would totally do this - with food, everything - like some narc badge of honor. So weird, because it is all about her.

[Anonymous]

So what? I see tons of people bragging about the excessive gifts and money they spend on their kids. I see no difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So what? I see tons of people bragging about the excessive gifts and money they spend on their kids. I see no difference.

It's all attention-seeking, masked in massive insecurity.

[Anonymous]

My xmas gifts were underwhelming to say the least but my parents didn’t brag about it. I don’t know if there’s a correlation, but I live humbly and am not materialistic. I didn’t appreciate it back then, buy I appreciate it now.

It sounds like those influencers are bragging about it, which is different. So I don’t know the impact that would have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My xmas gifts were underwhelming to say the least but my parents didn’t brag about it. I don’t know if there’s a correlation, but I live humbly and am not materialistic. I didn’t appreciate it back then, buy I appreciate it now.

It sounds like those influencers are bragging about it, which is different. So I don’t know the impact that would have.

*but, not buy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So what? I see tons of people bragging about the excessive gifts and money they spend on their kids. I see no difference.

It’s the bragging. But in the social media age, lots of people don’t understand what bragging is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever not spent money on your kid and then bragged about it on social media?

This has come up in my social media feed in various contexts. Examples:

-Parents bragging about how they only bought one present for Christmas for their kids

-Parents bragging about how they don't pay for an extra bed for their toddler while traveling; instead they make a blanket bed on the floor of the hotel room.

-(This is pretty specific to my cultural heritage but) Parents bragging about how they only give their kids presents on La Befana (Jan 6) and not Christmas because it's "ridiculous" to celebrate "two whole present days" that are "so close together"

If you were a kid whose parents took pride in not spending money on you, what's your relationship with your parents like today? Did you get them the nicest nursing home, or did you post to social media saying "Medicaid nursing home is good enough for Mom! Maybe we'll visit next year if we have any spare credit card points after our couples' tour of Sicily."

You are bizzare. That may not be bragging. Why would you pay an extra bed for a toddler. That makes no sense. And the one gift could be nice and what they want.